Hello, I'm new and from the UK

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I'm male, nearly 40 years of age and about a year ago, I was diagnosed with having Aspergers Syndrome. This was after multiple referrals having initially sought professional advice for stress, anxiety and lack of self confidence.

I'm completely single and have never had a relationship. For years I never understood my sexual orientation - I turned out to be bisexual - and this affected me. However, my biggest underlying problem is lack of self confidence. If I like someone then I simply don't know how to get close to them. I would never be able to ask anyone out because a) I don't know how to and b) I simply don't have any self confidence. Quite a few years ago, I did try asking a female out on a date and literally got laughed out of the room.

Years ago when I first came out as bisexual, I explored the gay world and this was a disaster. I simply did not fit in.

Even though I've been told I'm quite good looking, I feel in terms of dating prospects, females are more likely to pick a zombie than to pick me.

This extreme low self confidence also affects other areas of my life and has held me back in many things. During the recession, I had 30 interviews before I got my current job and a lot of feedback from the honest companies expressed concern about my lack of self confidence.

I also have trouble being able to remain focused if trying to learn. This has held me back. During the recession, everyone who I know or used to work with seemed to thrive as they got promoted in their roles or who pursued new job opportunities on greater pay. I've always remained static.

Socialising is a no-go for me. The company regularly holds social events and I feel like a square peg in a round hole and now simply don't bother going. A lot of people in my company are 15 or so years younger than me and I sometimes delude myself with ageism (thinking I cannot mix with anyone younger than me) but its more than that.

At work, I can get very irritated if the phone keeps ringing (I'm in a business support function) and multitasking is a no-go for me. I understand people with autism have trouble multitasking due to impaired short term working memory.

Welcome to wrong planet voyager

I hope we can help you with your questions or concerns or just lend an understanding ear.

I can totally relate regarding the confidence problem. I see people at work hanging out and gabbing while I am working and think "why cant I fit in". I am not sure how you feel, but when I think about it, I dont really want to hang out and gab, but I would like to liked well enough that people would want to gab with me - silly huh.

When you say you are single, do you have family or associates who can support you? If not, I hope we can help you some in that area.

Hey voyager1 welcome.

Cool name!