I believe I am an autist

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I believe I am autistic/asperger: I'm faceblind, daydream a lot, experience sensory overload and panic attacks, have an overdeveloped vocabulary, have navigation problems, pace and rock when anxious, have problems with common task such as using the washing machine despite being a computer engineer. And I have synesthesia, and echolalia with animal, machines and people noises. I'm obsessed with psychology and dinosaurs and I excel at programming and painting. I love reading metaphysics, psychology, neurology, artificial intelligence, phylosophy and emotional intelligence since I'm 13 years old.

I've been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and psychosis, but I can't feel any effect from the pills. I'm supposed to be sleep right now, but I'm fully awake.

What do you think? Does it sound like autism? some doctors believe it sounds like psychosis. But antipsychotics had no effects, I faked them up to go home. Everytime I say the truth, they believe it is psychosis coming back, so I shut up. I already got over it, I learned to shut up, but I feel misunderstood.

Last edited by Dkaz on 05 Jan 2016, 1:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

how are your social skills? the sensory issues could be linked to autism or sensory processing disorder.

My social skills have recently improved thanks to my studies. I learned by reading books such as How to make friends and influence people and Emotional Intelligence. I tried that techniques and they work. I just posted some advices at the Social Skills section of this forum.

Until yesterday I didn't know I couldn't recognize emotions. I would confuse tired with angry. And my mom would always complain about my b***h/blank face.

For years I believed I was sick as the doctor said, but know I figure out I can multitask efficiently, and paint by memory(I get compliments for this, and money), and imitate human voices the same way I imitate barks and car alarms. I can sing on pitch with echolalia(at least from my perspective, I've shown anyone yet) and play piano by ear.

I have always believed I was stupid, socially awkward, and that I had a superiority complex, but now I'm getting things done and people are surprised. However, they believe I'm talented, shy and unfortunately, psychotic. But it is not talent. I learned everything by reading and studying people like animals.

Do you think I am crazy or autistic? I know I can't tell by myself, but I don't believe I'm crazy. I have always been like this. They only say I'm crazy when I try to talk about me with analogies, they take them literaly as I take theirs.

I'm pretty sure that if I had been diagnosed with autism my life would have been much improved. Because it would have been the right diagnosis.

Beware of psychologists and psychiatrists learn how to deal with them. Many of them are playing predatory social games.
Try to find one that deals exclusively with autism.

Understanding oneself and building the narrative of one's life is so important.

My current doctor doesn't care about the label fortunately, but I have suffered a lot because of former doctors. I had panic attacks everytime someone talked about psychosis or psychiatrists. A lot of nightmares.

I'm pretty sure you love those things because you find them interesting, not because your 13 years old. In fact, I'd say it would be normal for most people 13 years of age not to be interested in those subjects.



It sounds a lot like Autism, I think you might be what's called a Little Philosopher, or perhaps a Little Professor, your interests and functionality could put you in either category.

About your Psychosis, would you say it's mostly to do with delusions, hallucinations, or a mix of the two?

There weren't hallucinations or delusions, just some synesthesia that I have always had. The "delusional state" was just me trying to explain neurology, psychology, relativity and metaphysical solipsism to a psychologist and my parents. The Dr. assumed I was paranoid. I used analogies with programming and she wrote down that I believed that I could program people's minds (WTF?)

Also, I played with a dog, barked to him as I always do when I hear a dog (echolalia?), and she put it as a symptom of my madness. Even my developmental prosopagnosia was used as a proof of my "confused state". I believe it was all a misunderstanding, but when I suggested autism I was ignored too.

My parents made me delete all my books, because "they were too advanced for my weak and young mind".

And now I'm on meds because "I speak too fast/think too much for my health". Meds don't change anything though, they just make me dizzy, I see double right now.

I will try with the new doctor, maybe he will believe me I'm autistic. But I don't know, I talked to him about Temple Grandin once and he didn't believe and autist could write books...

Just to clarify, are you still living with your parents, or were you speaking in past tense?

I'm 24. I'm living with them because they don't trust me enough to let me go. I know I can refuse medication because I'm an adult but I don't want arguments, I'm trying to convince them the good way that I'm not crazy. My friends and boss know I'm not and will help me if something goes bad.

I wanted to be sure that I'm probably an autist before trying to play that card again.

I fear the word "neurodiversity" doesn't exist in my country...

Oh dear! Is there some way the smiley sunshine girl can help you? [You paint too? I love painting and metaphysics and making animal sounds!]

Asked my mom about autism. Turns out the point of the therapy is to avoid labels so I can focus on self improvement. The goal is basically: Don't worry, be happy.

So, no one was unfairly misdiagnosing me, but trying to help me to become who I want to be. Like the movie Anger Management.

Hey welcome.

Hi I like this forum.

Hello and welcome