A mom with a 6 year old Asperger child that the school help

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My sons school refuses to help in any way shape or form. They pick apart the neurophysc's report and say nothing is wrong with my child and it is all in my head has anyone else come across this road block?

First off, welcome to WP!

Secondly, if the school isn't willing to help in ANY WAY, get your son outta there. Alternatively, if it's not the school as a whole, rather the principal or someone else in high authority, try seeing what the individual teachers think of it and win their suppourt.

What state do you live in? Do these people realize they are just a lawsuit waiting to happen?

From now on, whenever you attend any kind of a meeting, bring a tape recorder and tell them that you are recording this meeting. That alone will keep them honest. If you have any kind of behavioral services for your son through the state, you can also get advocate services from somebody in the state to come with you to district meetings and act in your behalf.

If you're getting this kind of response from your school, it may be time to begin looking at other schools. We have moved around multiple times, and there are almost always good schools in each area we have lived in, but we needed to belong to a parent support group to find out which schools provided good services. When we lived in California, the state provided good services for our (then 6 year old) son, but the district was AWFUL. We currently live in Pennsylvania, where both state and district services are good. We have checked out Texas, and found that the Houston area would have been awful for our child. We also checked out Washington state, and we were under the impression that many of the schools around Seattle would not have been good either.

Often you can also get on a listserv for through Yahoo that where you can ask questions like you are asking, but specifically asking people in YOUR area, so that your potential information is more geared to your local schools.

Hope this helps -- I'm sure other parents here will give you good advice. Don't let anyone mess around with you on this issue -- it's too important to your son's future.

Kris

I live in minnesota, My son has 32 hours of personal care attendant services a week but the school said he is not acting out in school so they want to wait for jesse to present a problem before they will fix anything. they dont believe in prevention

32 hours is a lot, from my experience. Can your personal care attendant act as an advocate for you at school meetings? We had a therapist that provided ABA services who would attend meetings with us when we would meet with school or district officials.

I'm going to repeat that getting into a local parent support group will help you figure out if it's worth staying in your area for a fight, or if you should cut your losses and try to find a different school. There may be parents who have been through the same fight before you, and have good advice to help steer you in the right direction.

Kris

This is going to sound really bad, but maybe he should act out. My junior high did the same to me, BTW.

My 7 year old son's new teacher didn't use any of the strategies because he was "not causing any problems." So the visual rules, timetable etc weren't used. This lasted for 2 weeks then whammo - Daniel had had enough and scream, cry, meltdown.

So the teacher finally started using the strategies but it took him weeks to settle down.

So in future, if any teacher doesn't use the strategies we've devised ... they'll have me to deal with (and I can be scary).

As you've probably discovered you will need to fight for your child. Either fight the school, or change schools.

Good luck
Smelena

Exactly. That's what my mom did for me - she foguht the schools. No matter how the school tried to screw with my life, she was alwas there for me. And had i been in her position i would have given the slimy b------ what for with my trusty katana, those stupid sons of -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

[please stand by]

Haha, ok, had my funny joke. But it's great to see someone who cares for their child enough to fight the system (and have you really ever fought the system before? It's really hard, especially with all those Agents running around and duplicating themselves... ok, no more Matrix jokes...)

Roxas

Welcome to WP!

Tim

hmm...I don't have any information to give you at the moment...but I do wish the best for you and your son...and Welcome to WP!

Hello there. I am new around here, and I have two sons, one with High funct. autism and one with Aspergers. The youngest one receives services in the school, and it did not come totally easy. He started on developmental preschool, but as he got older (now 4th grade) every IEP meeting I have to be prepared. Look at the IDEA law, it describes exactly what and how your child is entitled to services, and the Wright Law website may offer you some help. If he does not have a diagnosis, you can request to have a full evaluation by the district (you are entitled), and you can also have reports from other professionals. Services do not need a diagnosis, just a significant delay in an area, that can be communication, social skills, social/emotional development, etc. I just finished the fourth session of my son's IEP meeting and finally got it done, and they were not able to take any of his services - as they originally thought - because I was totally aware of the Federal Law about Education for children with disabilities. The Districts sometimes do not provide you with guidance as they try to spend the least per pupil, but look into an education advocate in your area.

thanks for all ur advice on here. I recieved a letter today saying they r having another meeting on tuesday to plan his testing. I finally got the start of what he needs. Hopefully it will all go well and he will get what he needs. If the school district pulls their heads out of their butts and do what is right.

Another tip...

Play the theme music to Rocky in your head just before you go into the meeting.

I've also learned from my husband that staying calm and being extremely polite is the way to go.

When we were first dating I used to go and visit him at his work. I'd walk into the office and hear him on the phone. You could hear the other person ranting and raving and swearing and my husband,cool as a cucumber would say

"Yes, I appreciate your concern. However we cannot approve your development until you've paid the $150 000 fine for your breach of section 23A of the environmental act" etc

One of my wise lecturers at uni had a saying that has stuck in my head and I use as a philosophy
"The best defence for offence is extreme politeness".

Smelena

Hello. I'm 7.

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Ubby, don't do that long word thing. It makes the size of the page WAAAY to big, and you'd have to scroll to view paragraphs.

Sorry.

UbbyUbbyUbby's in a bit of a silly mood so I was just letting him do what he wanted to.

He's been a bit stressed this week - back to school with a relief teacher. His teacher is having 12 weeks long service leave. I spent the first 2 mornings at school with him to help him settle in with the new teacher. He's been quite edgy.

Will stop him from doing the long words next time.

Smelena (UbbyUbbyUbby's mum)