Hi! Another noob, LOL.

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Hey, WrongPlanet people. I apologize in advance for this novel-length post. I can't seem to write short forum posts... LOL.

25 year old pursuing an ASD diagnosis while finishing a bachelor's degree, here. Went through years of misdiagnosis and whatnot before realizing the problem, which is now exceedingly clear to me. I started to realize late last year. I'd looked at the diagnostic criteria before, but they didn't seem to fit as described, and I didn't look further than the DSM. After meeting my friend's son, who is autistic, I started to rethink things. I related to him well--better than I did most people--and he reminded me of myself in a way I couldn't really articulate at the time. I almost wonder if he knew, before I did, that I was like him, because he seemed to talk to me more readily than my friend had indicated he would most people. He's nine, and he seems an awful lot like I was at that age in so many ways, ways that other kids weren't. These realizations coupled with me getting really stressed drove me to look at this more closely, and suddenly so many things make sense.

The therapist I'm working with at the moment didn't believe me right away; she tried to insist I was too good at "connecting" with her and seemed to believe a personality disorder was a more valid conceptualization. ("Both ASD and personality disorders involve fundamentally different ways of looking at the world," she said. Which is true, in a way, except that one is not born personality disordered, and that implies that all of the things that make me me are only a product of what has been done to me.) She listed off pragmatic communication disorder, ADHD, and sensory processing disorder as alternatives. I'm unsure why she thought it would be more valid to give me three or four labels when one would do quite nicely. She said I didn't "have that flavor" that those with autism had (and was tempted to ask whether her "tasting" her clients was appropriate--literal thinking at work! ), but did admit she "saw some autistic traits" by the end of the session, at which point I was flapping my hands and rocking myself and crying because it seemed she was doing everything she could to insist I was wrong.

I had to take the MMPI-2 for the third time in my life for her to see that a personality disorder was unlikely, despite my history of being abused. That second session went better. She actually seems to believe my having an ASD is a possibility now that she's put that personality disorder idea down. She gave me the ASDS to fill out. Not sure precisely how it's scored, but seeing as how most all of the fifty traits listed save about five or so are present, I'm fairly sure it's going to come back positive. It's supposed to be for those 18 and under, but she gave it to me anyway. She has no access to the ADOS right now, and I probably couldn't afford it at this point, anyway. I'm hoping after enough of these screenings and some interviews she will agree and give me the diagnosis. She's the only one in the area with any true developmental disorder knowledge (scary, considering her relying on "flavors" to recognize autism spectrum disorder! ), and I'm tired of jumping through hundreds of hoops to get what I think should be a plainly obvious diagnosis. (It took years before anyone would admit I had PTSD, as well, and I hope not to have to repeat that experience.)

Because the fact is I know I'm an Aspie. I tried to compensate out of necessity more than anything, because of a home environment that screamed I was not allowed to be anything other than what was expected. But I don't live with my abuser anymore and I'm tired of always feeling like I can't be myself. I've known I was different since I was about eight years old, and now I understand why. It isn't that I'm not trying hard enough, which is what I was scared of for years. And it's not that I'm crazy, which I also feared, especially considering the abuse and manipulation. I have Asperger's. That is what has been "wrong with me" all these years, and it's not actually "wrong," at all, to my relief--just different.

On a lighter note, here's some of my favorite things: video games (Final Fantasy, Pokemon, Etrian Odyessy, Fire Emblem, Legend of Zelda, Shin Megami Tensei/ Persona, to name a few), crochet/knitting, Tamagotchi, Japanese language and culture (while everyone else is busy focusing on anxiety or parenting styles, my senior research project involves kanji recognition), reading (some fiction, but often nonfiction revolving around whatever I'm obsessed with at the time, currently autism spectrum disorder), writing, dogs, rats, bats, and animals in general. I'm playing through Final Fantasy 6 for GBA for the first time, and replaying Pokemon Platinum and FireRed while anxiously awaiting the release of Pokemon Go.

Now that this post has reached an obnoxious length, I'll shut up. I look forward to talking to you all. Thanks for reading!

What's up, what's happening? Glad to see you've come around, and welcome to Wrong Planet. Never mind the post length - there are plenty of subforums which necessitate your style (though tread into PPR at your own risk!).

Welcome to WP! Don't worry about the post length, say whatever you need to say.

Hey aikitsune welcome.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Thanks for the welcome, all!

Hello. I actually just joined myself. When I was reading your story, it really sounded like my own. For years, I couldn't figure out why I didn't seem to fit in. I had all of these socially awkward traits and quirks that made me something of a lifelong misfit. I began researching different conditions and was thinking about Social Anxiety Disorder and OCD and a handful of others, but I just couldn't quite fit neatly into the categories. Then, in my early twenties, I heard about Asperger's for the first time, and immediately, I felt like I could understand myself. I pursued my own research, which continued to support my original hypothesis. I finally spoke to some health professionals, and the widespread consensus is that am an Aspie. It's been great since I learned about my condition. I felt like I really got to meet myself for the first time. I still have my issues and struggles, but I've learned much better how to cope with them. I'm continuing to learn each day.

Hello! Welcome to the site.

Hello, welcome to here