Hello, just joined today. I'm just going to keep it short: like many whose posts I've read here, I also thought I was going insane (or had a brain tumor or something really bad) because for a few years now, my life has been descending into Hell. Instead, I somehow stumbled on the realization I may have AS. I corroborated with a specialist (a psychiatrist that specializes in AS in children), and whilst he did not conduct a former test, he agreed with my self-diagnosis. When I first realized it, I cried. Half or relief; because I now have an answer for why my entire life has been so f*****g hard. Half in pain, because of what this really means: a disability. I don't know yet how I feel about all of this, except very overwhelmed and sad most of the time.
Furthermore, after reading most of the threads here on autistic burnout, I feel that's definitely what happened (no, what's happenING) to me. I've lost a lot of my verbal skills, ability to focus, I get tired very quickly and my threshold for shutdowns and meltdowns is much lower now. It's a real struggle to function everyday.
Anyways, I don't want to be a downer. I try to keep my hopes up and keep going along with the plans I had before I found out. I have gotten a lot of benefit from reading a lot of stories here; especially on autistic burnout and meltdowns. I hope things get better in time, but this has been quite life-changing for me and I'm still not sure if things will actually someday be good for me.
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~*~
"Everyone's filling me up with noise,
I don't know what they're talking about
You see all I need's a whisper,
in a world that only shouts"
- "Whispers" by Passenger
04 Mar 2016, 11:00 pm
