Introduction

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Introductory greetings!

I'm feeling fairly catatonic at the moment, as such my thoughts are relatively disordered and my ability to express myself limited, but in any case here I am introducing myself.

I've recently been through an existential crisis that escalated into an episode of acute psychosis, which has shaken me into action a little. I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adolescent (and again in adulthood), however, even with my own limited insight it appears irrefutable and obvious that I am on the Autism spectrum, and those who know me well have been saying it for years. High functioning, sure, maybe? Depends on what metric you are measuring ...

Wrong Planet certainly feels applicable to me. The logic circuits of other "normal" people confuse and often concern me. Blind faith seems entirely illogical to me, yet it underpins the normal functioning of humanity - what a baffling concept that is to me. Anyone else identify?

There's one thing that's clearly more challenging than balancing day-to-day priorities against solving the paradox of existence and that is being a parent; a parent to a child with Autism. Yep. Empirically, I proverbially "suck" at it, among other things, especially the many facets of harmonious co-existence.

So, I thought maybe joining a forum such as this might allow me to offload some of my emotions (what a concept!) and possibly learn a thing or two that might help me in my quest to become a better human being.

The burden of reality is best shared; perception is subjective after all.


Thanks for reading.

Polymorphed.

Welcome to WP! you seem like an interesting person. Hope you enjoy it here.

Hey Polymorphed welcome.

Welcome Polymorphed (cool name!).

Oh yes, I do my best to try and understand, but after 45 years, it is still very baffling indeed. I used to think that, one day, I would just suddenly understand why people cared about what I was wearing, what I was doing with my hands when speaking, reading words "between my lines" that I didn't put here...etc... Copying the behaviour I saw around me so that I could "fit in" seemed the only way - but my "acting" only really worked in the most superficial of interactions.

Joining WP is a great idea, in my opinion. So nice to be able to chill out with other folks that have similar traits, and share our "best practices" for dealing with the world. Hope you find it as rewarding as I have!

Doublepost.

Last edited by Polymorphed on 08 Apr 2016, 6:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

@TheAP and @RoadRatt - thank you for your welcoming messages

I gave up "acting" a long time ago, though I sometimes exaggerate outwardly what I naturally feel inwardly. I have spent my entire life censoring my emotions, so being sufficiently expressive from the perspective of others requires ... effort.

I have spent a lot of my life psychoanalysing people, so I can now read body language (and interpret motive and meaning) quite well - I just have to avoid jumping to conclusions and being overly confident about my interpretations because I still get things dramatically wrong - and often in situations that others find the most obvious haha

The biggest issue I have is with how others perceive me (in the context of conversation - especially face to face). I have what people like to define as a "resting b***h face" haha Really though, the biggest issue seems to be the communication techniques I rely on in order to affirm the accuracy and validity of my understanding of others. A lot of people (especially my wife!) inaccurately infer negative intentions, lack of comprehension (typically because I don't respond as one would expect), disagreement etc. when what I am actually doing is inquiring, paraphrasing or thinking out aloud so as to PREVENT misunderstandings from MY side.

The more neurotic the other person, the harder a time I have. Others seem to feel like I am lecturing them or taking opportunity to elevate myself above them when I augment their observations with contributions of my own.

Fortunately I am quite comfortable being an introvert, yet not frightened by purposeful social activity. Sometimes, I even genuinely enjoy social engagement. Unplanned social immersion where the purpose (and especially the duration) is undefined, however, is a recipe for an agoraphobic melt-down followed by a lengthy avoidance of any repeat events to the extent of irrationality.

When other people are blatantly irrational or demonstrate very poor environmental awareness, I become confused, distracted, affronted and agitated. I also hate (a word I use infrequently) loud/sudden noises. I think I have just described children. A child with largely untreated autism (my son [he's 5 and only recently diagnosed]) is even more challenging, strangely. Despite the obvious commonalities, I simply cannot identify with my son's fantasy/imagination-based reasoning and manner of play. His mother does a fantastic job at pretending and joining in and building his confidence and experience. If it wasn't for her, he would be a neurotic mess - like I was for most of my life.

As a parent, right now I feel like I have an auto-immune disease that affects the ego. Being on the spectrum myself and having been a child just like my son, I expect more compassion and empathy from myself towards him, but instead the opposite ensues ... This, however, is a topic for exploration in another thread!


Nice to "meet" you all so far!

nice to meet a fellow Australian.
what state are you in?
(besides catatonic )

I think I've mostly departed the state of Catatonia today I'm situated a couple of hours east of Melbourne. Yourself?

I'm a Queenslander.
Please don't hold that against me

My wife is too, so you are safe