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Hello everyone. I do not know if I am normal with atypical traits or different with some normal tendencies. I am married with boys but I do not cope well. I have angry outbursts almost everyday. I get stressed very easily by sounds and lights. I have no friends and really never wanted any long term social interaction. I can talk to people but I find myself wanting to get away after a few minutes. I have very rigid routines and become very irritated when it gets disrupted. Right now I have to sweep and make sure the sink is clean and there are no clothes in the hamper to wash, but the rest of the house is very messy and I don't care and it. I can hold a job down but I am never happy where I am at. I go through bouts of depression all the time. I also have ocd tendencies. I have to do things in threes like pulling my emergency brake on release three times in sets of three. I also talk to myself and not realize it until my kid asks who I am talking to. I feel normal sometimes. I am also really big into conspiracy theories right now. I can take care of myself and my family as far as physical things but I have been accused of not being there mentally. Can someone please tell me if this sounds familiar and give some advice on how to cope. There is alot more but I have a mental stop now. Thanks.

Hey Normallyconfsed welcome.

Hi, welcome,

You asked if what you experience sounds normal. Well, we all are different and so I'd say that sounds normal for you. I once read a book called, "Normal's just a setting on your dryer." No one is perfect, so really, no one is normal. What you experience sounds a lot like my dad was (God rest his soul). But back then (I am 63 so we are talking many decades ago) no one knew of Asperger's so he was never officially diagnosed with anything, but people thought him odd in social situations and he was very intelligent. Have you gotten an official diagnosis? If not, there are online tests you can do that can give you a big clue as to if you might be on the autism spectrum or not. There is soooooo much to read on this site. You may come across some good coping strategies. Sorry to hear about the bouts of depression, I have them too. I have come to think of them as a storm that will eventually pass, the clouds will eventually blow over and the sun will shine through again. (Should I break into a chorus of "Tomorrow, Tomorrow" from the musical Annie here? ) It does help me though when I am down to remind myself that things won't always be this bad. Raising boys, that's a challenge (and blessing) right there. Have you heard the saying, "Insanity is heredity, you get it from your kids." Sending you (((hugs))) from AZ.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to WP! Hope you find answers to your questions.

http://www.ocduk.org/
You may also want to visit sites that help with OCD.

Thanks everyone. This is the first time I actually told anyone about my situation. I still hide some things from my family even though they live and see my condition. I have had a pretty bad last few days. I am in the middle of a depressed state since last Wednesday. I have not been pleasant to be around with. Any small sound, change in my schedule, or remark would infuriate me. After my outbursts, I would be calm again until my next one. My family must think I hate them.

Do you know what set off this downward spiral? As the daughter of a father with Asperger's (although since he was born in 1913 he was not diagnosed and never heard of Asperger's) I can tell you that although his angry outbursts were terrifying to me as a kid, I never once hated my father. He shared with me his love of nature and animals, the same things that bring me joy today. Despite his outbursts, I never doubted that he loved me. He died in 1980 and when I think of him, I know he always wanted the best for me and provided that the best he could, and I remember the good times. I hold as sacred some items he gave me. If you try taking opportunities to tell and show your family you love them, they will probably remember the good times too. There has been and never will be a perfect dad or mom. So try not to be too hard on yourself.