Hello, likewise to a good portion of other threads, I'm new here. I've been looking at this place for under a month now, and finally decided to join today. I've done a little research on AS longer then that. I haven't been diagnosed, but I think I have commonality with it.
It's harder to tell, since my first girlfriend (by pure chance); a couple of her tendencies have rubbed off on me. I've been socially exhausted for quite some time(and still am) since then. I used to be a very concrete, concentrated, very shy person. But I'm gradually correcting my life into what it use to be (she was the direct opposite of me). I do below average in school, but that's because I have a little motivation to try. Ever since I can remember I've been aware of things, and detail oriented years beyond my time. Socializing at ages say 3 and older (this is from memory), have been discouraging for me, since I feel that I can't be myself. As if I have to stoop to their level of intellect and awareness in order to function and attempt to be understood. Through out elementary I was more of a loner, I'd always walk around outside, in our school woods, by myself. Not interested in socializing and I was anxious and shy around people.
I was in LAC (Learning Assistance Program) which is for kid (with English being their first language), having trouble with English grammar, spelling, and the sort. I wasn't good at math either in elementary especially in grade 3 I remember vividly not getting the point behind what the teacher was telling us (we were learning about dividing).
I developed a love for English in probably grade 8, I got A's or something around there. After passing math 8 with C-'s and being put into the lowest level of math 9, I developed a love for math in (grade 9), I had a teacher that inspired me to take math in differently then what I had been given in previous years (A's or B's in that as well). After I became aware of a large gaming community and such, I decide to apply my love for math with my love for computers so I decided to learn a programming language (I developed a love for computers because of how I love to create, I imagined creating a truly impressive world using computers. One that would live up to my expectations =] (which is why I like fantasy)).
I always seem to remember, think, connect, and be aware of more things than most people, makes me feel I have to "nerf" myself if I want to fit in (I've already probably lost some of my potential from a little bit of subconscious nerfing, I'd expect). Since my first girlfriend, astoundingly enough, I've recently developed a desire to be understood. Probably lost when I was misunderstood as an infant to present (oh how I remember then ><). Speaking of infancy, I remember and was reconfirmed that I organized my toy cars when I was really younger (sometime before 4 years). I noticed what I would call tendencies of age, like I'd notice the social peculiarities of people my age and how they'd be different later on. I've been told that I can't lie, but that's not true, I can lie it's just I very much don't like to, I feel remorse when I do -- and I'd be a hypocrite since I am against deception (even socially accepted kinds).
I usually notice when someone's been in my space or moved things around. If someone tries to move things in my room I usually get aches or some kind of uneasiness. Same with socializing too much, but that's been overloaded for a long time (still trying to recover from that) as stated above. I'm told I think too far into things by many people. I get annoyed when someone uses abstract measurements like "little", "far", "shortly", "find a good one but not too big", "soon" (but I've just played along with it and try to not use my own judgment mainly in the physical measurements, since my opinion of "alot" seems to be incorrect.
Today has probably been the best day this week, I have the whole house to myself, I haven't interacted with any person yet. With school/work/etc it doesn't happen often. I enjoy collecting things, and when I get into something I really get into it, that's why I've feared that if I get into something it wont last, which has happened for somethings, pretty bad when that happens. I'm planning on quiting my job soon, not only because I disliked it from the beginning but I need to just have that time to myself. I'm the kind of person that my week is disturbed if there's something I really don't like, even if it's scheduled in.
Okay, so that's abit about me just off the top of my head right now. I think I could have AS, but then it's hard to tell. There probably wouldn't be enough information for a good analysis. But in your opinion...
28 Apr 2007, 8:17 pm
