This site is overwhelming; how can you find compatibles?

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yourkiddingme3
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18 May 2016, 1:17 pm

Just got formal diagnosis of DSM-4 Asperger's or DSM-5 high functioning autistic spectrum.
I'm an early-retired corporate attorney turned author, divorced with two grown children, and the diagnosis explains a lot.

As relevant to this post, it explains why I'm so much happier living "alone" with two Greater Vasa parrots, nine horses, and one irritating Great Pyrenees, than with my ex or a substitute human male.

However, I still have some needs for social interaction/validation, beyond just those necessary to sell literary works. It has been easy to find very angry Aspies on Goodreads, very young Aspies on this site, and very political Aspies (or their parents) on sites like "The Art of Austism" and "Learn From Autistics."

But where are the Aspies who prefer interacting with animals most of the time rather than humans, because animals don't have agendas we don't recognize. Where are the Aspies who enjoy debating concepts and philosophy and rules for fun, rather than because they're angry? Where are the Aspies who like to read to discover and debate new ideas, and sometimes like to talk to other people about those ideas, without political agendas?

This site is amazing, but hard for a newbie, especially a newbie-cum-Luddite, to navigate. Does anyone have any tips on how to find compatible minds here?



RoadRatt
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18 May 2016, 3:15 pm

Hey yourkiddingme3 welcome. :sunny:

I'd suggest choosing a relative forum that interests you and posting there. You are bound to come across like minded people. :)


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18 May 2016, 7:26 pm

Welcome to WP! Just keep reading around and I'm sure you will find people to talk to. I'd suggest the General Autism Discussion forum.



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18 May 2016, 7:53 pm

Use the "View Posts Since Last Visit" button and skim through the thread-titles of course.
Use the Next Page button if you see nothing of interest. Once more for a third try.
You will see that much of what you have described factually already exists here...


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18 May 2016, 9:05 pm

I myself like to discuss philosophy and ideas.



yourkiddingme3
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19 May 2016, 6:57 am

Thank you all for your help! I will try Ban-Dodger's approach.

Meanwhile, Yelekam, are there any philosophy threads you currently follow here?



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19 May 2016, 11:14 am

yourkiddingme3 wrote:
Thank you all for your help! I will try Ban-Dodger's approach.

Meanwhile, Yelekam, are there any philosophy threads you currently follow here?


I haven't really figured out how you can follow a thread on the sight other than remembering the thread and checking it from time to time.
Though I did look at some threads recently which potentially may be interesting to you.
viewtopic.php?t=317381
viewtopic.php?t=309520
viewtopic.php?t=308469
Also, I recently put up some threads in philosophy
viewtopic.php?f=20&t=318849
viewtopic.php?t=318848

Also, the politics, philosophy and religion tab can have interesting philosophic threads at times. But be forewarned, a lot of it consists of political threads and threads involving people insulting others religious beliefs. Also the philosophic threads in the section can attract some less than nice responders.



butyouseemso
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19 May 2016, 5:00 pm

yourkiddingme3 wrote:
But where are the Aspies who prefer interacting with animals most of the time rather than humans, because animals don't have agendas we don't recognize.

Present!


I think it's hard to identify people you're going to connect well with quickly. I have some firm firm friends who I met online, but it was a long time before I knew who I really got on with. In the interim, it's just about the site in general.



butyouseemso
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19 May 2016, 5:05 pm

yelekam wrote:

I haven't really figured out how you can follow a thread on the sight other than remembering the thread and checking it from time to time.


You can 'subscribe' to threads - click 'Subscribe topic' near the top of the page, under Page n of n
Then you can see them all listed in my account, overview, manage subscriptions - ucp.php?i=main&mode=subscribed



yourkiddingme3
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19 May 2016, 5:24 pm

Butyouseemso, you say you are an animal person? I'm partial to most mammals and birds, with experience with cats, dogs, horses, pigeons and Greater Vasa parrots. I currently live with two Greater Vasas, 9 horses (switched from jumpers to dressage when I had my first son) and one Great Pyrenees (with whom I don't really get along; all I ask of dogs is to come when called, but Cara comes only when she chooses). But I'm always interested in exotics. :) And I mourn how underrated pigeons are as pets. They are so very affectionate when you raise them from squabs.

With what animals do you have experience?



butyouseemso
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19 May 2016, 5:30 pm

I'm afraid I don't have nearly the range of interests you do! I'm definitely a cat person and have 2. I like dogs but ... let's say I like other people's dogs. And I don't have space for horses, though my sister does - she's a dressage rider too.

In the past, rabbits guinea-pigs hamsters mice and gerbils. Birds can be wonderful too, just never owned any myself.



yourkiddingme3
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19 May 2016, 6:18 pm

"In the past, rabbits guinea-pigs hamsters mice and gerbils."

Had a terrible mishap with a pet mouse as a child, bad luck with turtles and frogs, good times with many rabbits and ducks. Ducks also enjoy human company, but rabbits? IMO, American rabbits, not so much. But I understand Europeans have a long history of more intelligent rabbit breeds as companions for ladies.

As to the time it takes to find friends online, of course I agree that is a long process. A few years ago, I spent a lot of time on the Online Writing Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror, and ended with one good friend, who is my continuing fiction critique partner. She even visits me once a year! With her parrot. :)



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19 May 2016, 7:10 pm

I sort of have an African Grey. But my wife left me with him. So if we don't get back together I lose my parrot too. But he was the best pet I ever had.

Parrots are the awesomest creatures on Earth. Such an awesome bonding is possible. I wasn't the preferred human anyways, so I'll just have to get a new one once I get my life back in order. But it's so hard to replace.

Most people don't understand the art of debate. They only know how to argue.



yourkiddingme3
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20 May 2016, 9:35 am

I sort of have an African Grey. But my wife left me with him. So if we don't get back together I lose my parrot too. But he was the best pet I ever had.

Parrots are the awesomest creatures on Earth. Such an awesome bonding is possible. I wasn't the preferred human anyways, so I'll just have to get a new one once I get my life back in order. But it's so hard to replace.


I do NOT understand people who don't appreciate that non-humans are individuals, too. I always wanted an African Grey, but then I thought about the fact that he/she likely would outlive me, and be horribly upset when I died. So I found the Greater Vasa parrot, a pest in Madagascar, but rare in the U.S., tool users in the wild, and similar in intelligence to greys. Greater Vasa do NOT pair bond. They are both polygamous and polyandrous, and while they can be aggressive during mating season, usually fly and play and feed in groups outside mating season. I think they are also less bothered by night-time artificial light than other parrots, because, in the wild, they fly around at night during full moons.

Greater Vasas are delightfully opinionated, and force me out of bed when I'm depressed. You don't want to know how. :)



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20 May 2016, 10:14 am

Welcome Yourkiddingme3. I hope you find what you are looking for here. There are a wide range of individuals that frequent this site.
Ive had lots of cats, a few rabbits - one in particular that I was closely bonded to as a child and that came when called, chickens, dogs, hamster, and a budgie. My father had this bizarre habbit of giving away my pets every year. His little pasiive aggressive way of saying he didn't like animals. My mother would buy us new ones. So, I have bondong issues but am starting fresh after several years with a lab mix puppy.
I am also thoroughly excited to be about to embark on living without my spouse by my choice. Have you been on your own for a while?
Also, I enjoy a good debate and don't feel the need to take anything personally.
Hope to cross paths with you here.



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21 May 2016, 4:46 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet! :)


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