I believe I have Asperger's, unsure about telling my parents

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Good afternoon. I am a thirteen year old girl, and after doing much research, I strongly suspect I have Asperger's syndrome. I understand online research is not reliable, which is why I wish to receive a proper diagnosis. However, I am unsure about how to approach my mother and father.
My parents are the type of people who always deny the possibility that there is something wrong, something that needs to be fixed about their child. For example, when I had suspected that I was suffering from AD/HD, I immediately went to my mother. She denied this and told me it was all in my head. I approached my father later and he responded similarly. For months, my grades suffered and my mother told me that she should have listened to me when I brought up AD/HD, and admitted she had been in denial. Upon my diagnosis, however, my father still believed that nothing wrong with me. Even now he still believes it. This is why I am reluctant to confide in them currently. The approach I've taken to getting help is complaining of my social issues, but they still tell me to get over it because it is all in my head. I try to explain that it isn't, that it's too complicated to put into words.
Aside from my parents, I would like the opinion of others on whether I should see a doctor or not. I was born into a family of outgoing, extroverted people. However, I am nothing like them. I have social issues that have caused me significant issues in my life. I am unsure about how to initiate conversations, keep them going, or asking questions. I have a strange interest in the life events of the key people involved in Rome's transition from a republic to an empire. I have a few other obsessions though this is the most prominent one. The only time I can speak is when it is about one of these, but every time I do whoever it is I am speaking to has to blatantly tell me they are not interested. I don't know how to react to what people say because 1. I don't know how they feel about it and 2. I don't know if they are serious or not. Also, I get bothered easily by sounds, smells, lights, etc. that no one else notices. Things like these make social interaction even more hard than it already is for me. I constantly have to be alone in the dark to get away from all the brightness, loudness, and confusion in social environments. I am extremely selective about what I eat and wear. If I don't like the smell, texture, color, of a food, even if it has a good taste, I won't eat it. I hate fruits especially because they are too sweet and I don't like the way the juice feels in my mouth. I HATE mixing food as well, which leads me to have a very limited food selection. My clothing selection is also very limited. I love wearing sweatshirts and coats, even in summer, because I love the way the feel. If I think a shirt is nice but the material is uncomfortable, I will not wear it. This frustrates my mother because she wishes I would dress appropriately for every season. I don't relate to people my age in any way, nor am I concerned with what they are doing. This, along with my lack of social issues, makes it hard for me to make friends. I moved out of state two years ago, and still have no friends because people think I am weird and rude. I never mean to be rude, I just don't know what is rude to say or not. I mostly talk to kids much younger than myself and adults. Along with this, I have minimal motor skills. I can barely use scissors, and I drop everything and run into things often. I get hurt every time I exercise. This annoys my parents. Often, I don't even want to talk. I find it physically challenging so when people talk to me sometimes I won't respond because I just can't talk. Sometimes this lasts a few minutes, other times a few days/weeks. My speech is much different, too. I've been told I speak too fast and use very archaic/strange words. People think it's because I want to sound more intelligent, but it's just the way I speak. I also have a strange habit of rocking myself while sitting and wiggling my toes and fingers.
I could go on and on, but that would be too much. I want to get help, these problems have taken a toll on me not only socially, but emotionally.
I cry every day because I want at least one friend my age who I can relate to, and I don't want to have all these problems. Even my mother told me and I quote: "stop being so weird." I can't, and the fact that I can't control any of this hurts me a lot, not because I want to move back to my hometown like my parents think. I am a smart person and people look down on me because I'm so different and I just want to tell my parents about all this but if I do then going to get a screening would be hopeless.

WOW!
I feel like I wrote this post myself!
same traits for instance hating to mix certain foods and running into everything, plus I also have in common that my parents react the same way, and people say I speak too fast (also too polite). But I am not obssessed about Rome stuff
I totally know how you feel.
If this is going to help, my parents denied everything that could be "different" about me because they didn't want me to think I am weird or have low self-steem.
Ah, also I can't diagnose, there are other things they take into consideration like your behavior, executive function etc. I went through what you are going through just some months ago and I totally relate.
I suggest you take an aspie quiz, like the RAAD-S (my favorite) and give the questions for your parents to do for you WITHOUT telling them what it is. Just say it is some kind of personality test, don't say anything about aspergers! It influences the result. Then after that you show them that this test is used for assesments and explain the results. They can't deny as they themselves had said you have the symptoms. That is what I did (other wp users adviced me) and it worked! I only told my mother and my sister though, not my father. afterwards it is easier to convince them you need to be evaluated by a professional.
good luck!

I'm so sorry for you! I would hope begging them to take you to a doctor would do some good. We are here for you.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Definitely sounds like some form of ASD. My advice is to go to a psychiatrist and get an official diagnosis. I do not recommend medicinal treatments, but there are ways and stratagies for even those with Asperger's Syndrome to make friends and socialize. Coming to WrongPlanet is a good place to start, as it is often considered easier to communicate with people online. Also, there are a ton of resources and people with advice for just about everything someone with Asperger's or Autism would need advice for. Also, if you are told you have Asperger's, you should get your parents to come to WrongPlanet, because I have seen information here for parents of those with ASD as well. However, from what I have heard and seen, keep them away from Autism Speaks. What I've seen indicates they have a bad attitude toward Asperger's and Autism.

Thank you all for your wonderful greetings and advice

A big welcome from me too quitedifferent!

That sounds like great advice from linatet!! !

I'm not quite your age (51... lol).
I've never been diagnosed and I knew little about Autism and nothing of Asperger's until I was doing a little research (on Wiki) after reading a news story (not in connection with myself at all). This was just a few weeks ago. I could hardly believe what I was reading! Most of it was describing my own characteristics. Then I came and read some posts on here and I was convinced.

I've always been different but never had any idea why. As a young child I had trouble believing I was actually human, though I couldn't explain how I came to be here if I wasn't... lol! After all, I wasn't adopted, I share most of my physical characteristics with my mother and much of my personality with my father, so I had to be human... but I clearly wasn't at all like any other humans I knew, with the exception of my father maybe.

When I found this place, I felt at home right away!

My degree of Asperger's (I'm pretty sure that's what it is) is pretty mild though from what I can gather. It was much worse as a child... particularly during early childhood when I was very clumsy. So much so that my parents took me to be examined. I can still remember the cap full of wires on my head and the pens drawing squiggly lines... lol. They gave me some kind of cognitive test too but apparently I scored very high so they decided it was nothing to worry about and that I'd probably grow out of it... which I did (the clumsyness). These days I can even play a half decent game of football!

I started to improve significantly social-wise at the age of 18. I went from being very quiet, shy and introverted to being talkative to the point that I didn't know when to stop and people couldn't keep up with me! I think it was the desire to integrate and socialise which became much stronger at that age.

As the years have gone by I've steadily continued to improve. Since learning about my condition, I very quickly improved further and I think if I'd known about it at an earlier age, I could have achieved much more. Now that I understand myself and others better, I make more allowances. In the past, when I'd had difficulties communicating I'd always blamed either myself or the other person. Now I don't blame anyone... I just accept that it's not always easy and keep trying until I succeed (much less frustration-induced stress).

Unsurprisingly, I do share a few of your traits. Not quite the same with the food though... I LOVE food and I'll eat almost anything but I am a methodical eater. I never mix my food and I always start with my least favourite food item on the plate, eat each item separately and leave my favourite item till last. I've been this way for as far back as my memory will stretch.

Anyway... I'm going on bit now (could do this all night lol).

I hope that finding this place (the right planet... for us) will prove to be an enlightening and enjoyable experience and I expect that with time, you'll see your life improving too!

I have similarly told my parents about my suspected Asperger's (I first thought that it might be possible at age eleven), but they did not want to hear about it. This is despite them having kept me down in preschool for 'lack of social skills', and refused to allow me to skip grades, even though teachers recommended it, because they were worried about my ability to make friends and connect with people. I did not have a proper friend until I was thirteen years old.

My mother in particular continually tells me to 'stop acting strangely', and asserts that, if I just 'tried harder', I would be able to fit in just like anybody else. If I am bothered by loud noises in public, and feel the need to cover my ears, she frowns and says 'stop acting weird'.

I don't know what to do. I am not of the opinion that my inability to function 'normally' has a terrible impact on my quality of life, but I sometimes feel so confused and lonely. Any suggestions?

quitedifferent and FandomConnection, do any of you guys have a sympathetic teacher or older relative that you can talk to about this?

Btw, love your avatar! My favorite show

I did AQ test, and the results were as follows:

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 36 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

I have also done other quizzes in the past (I don't know about the reliability of them; they were online), all of which indicated that I was probably Aspie (or at least ND).

I'm still really worried to tell my parents anything about Asperger's etc. (as in, I avoid discussing the topic, even if it does not pertain to me directly) because it makes me uncomfortable given their reactions last time.

FandomConnection,

I agree with underwater that you should talk with a teacher. Let them know your suspicions and ask them if they notice the same things about you. If they do, they are in a better position to tell your parents that you should be evaluated. Your parents are more likely to listen to another adult, especially one who has the ability to see your social interactions (or lack thereof) more frequently. If this still doesn't work or you are still hesitant to talk to a teacher, consider talking to your doctor during your next visit. If you have to, ask your doctor if you can talk to him/her alone for a few minutes so you don't have to say it in front of your parents if that makes you uncomfortable. If none of this works and you keep having a hard time convincing your parents to have you evaluated, keep in mind that you're only a couple of years away from being an adult and can request an evaluation at that time. It's not ideal, but still an option. Good luck!

FandomConnection

Three things:

1. Do a bunch of the tests. Documentation is your friend.
2. Your teacher may be ignorant about ASD and its many varieties. In that case you'll have to educate them a bit.
3. What's the worst that can happen if your teacher decides to tell your parents? I'm not being rhetorical, I just don't know your parents. This is up to you to decide.

Good luck!