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58 year old male, from Noo Yawk. I'd heard the phrase Asperger's, but until recently I had no idea what it was.

I was hospitalized for depression about a year and a half ago. First time I had ever been hospitalized, and I can't say I liked it much. Was put on Zoloft and began to see a therapist/psychiatrist. I had had some analysis many years ago, and I couldn't believe how much things had changed.

Do I suffer from depression? Sure, everybody agrees about that one, but that's not my problem. I've had relationships with my family and with friends (not many, but some). I've destroyed every one of them. I've never had a romantic relationship. I feel I was born this way, and I have always been a mystery to myself. So now I'm in therapy, I want to try to unravel that mystery. I tell my therapist that I wonder if I have a touch of autism, and she tell's me about Asperger's. She also tells me that Asperger's has been removed from some of the diagnostic literature.

That's it. I've read about the symptoms of Asperger's and most of the symptoms fit me well, some don't. No one will discuss the idea of a diagnosis with me. I see no point in shopping for a diagnosis. If not Asperger's, then what? Again, no one will discuss the idea of a diagnosis with me. Basically, I have had zero support in trying to unravel these frustrating patterns that have destroyed my life. I'm supposed to accept everything as within normal boundaries. Never had a relationship with the opposite sex? Why, many people can say that! Really? That sounds like complete nonsense to me. Surely that statement holds for only a tiny percentage of humanity.

So, now what do I do? Continue therapy which seems to me to be nothing but a form of self-delusion? Continue to have faith, after 58 years of failure, that I can change?

Welcome to WrongPlanet.net, EbenCooke!

I received four separate diagnoses for depression between ages 16 and 20 years. I disagreed with every one of them. My diagnosticians asked "Do you have friends?" "One." "What do you do for fun?" "Read." "How many classmates do you talk with?" "Just my friend." Now, I believe that my diagnosticians were simply grabbing at something close to the then-nonexistent autism. Depression was close enough for them. I argued that, if they saw me with my family members or friend(s), they wouldn't see depression. It was my way of describing autism.

Asperger Syndrome is now part of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) along with about four other spectrum conditions. It has gone away in name only. It still exists as a part of ASD. No single autist has all the behaviors, characteristics and comorbids; that is why it is called a spectrum. Each of us has a handful of random traits.

So, don't despair. There is still a place for you. Have you asked your therapist about getting an autism diagnosis?

Hi, welcome! What are your interests?

Hi Aspie, thanks for your reply. Your suggestion about getting an autism diagnosis is an excellent one. Thank you for that too. I had a therapist, who I really liked, but unfortunately she left the clinic I'm attending. She's the one who told me about Asperger's and this forum. She also said she was unqualified to make such a diagnosis.

My psychiatrist is useless for that purpose. He seems to feel his role is limited to writing prescriptions and lying abut their side effects. Diagnosis? What for? This therapist/psychiatrist tag team business is new to me. When last I was in therapy you got one or the other. I can probably find a diagnostic clinic and just make an appointment on my own. Hopefully I won't need a referral. I don't know if my psychiatrist will give me one.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hey EbenCooke welcome.

Hi TheAP. My main interests are music (listening and playing) and classic movies. I follow politics and like to discuss it, but I can't find any good forums for that.

Cool! Well, we have a politics forum on here, and a music forum.

Oh, yes. The tag team abounds in today's clinics. At an autistic medical clinic I attended for all of two visits (I loathe being "managed") assigned a "care team" to me which included a case manager, a medical doctor (who was also a psychiatrist), a second psychiatrist for therapeutic reasons and a nurse practitioner. I am fairly sure that President Kennedy enjoyed fewer staffers after his assassination. I prefer to believe that such an abundance of clinicians these days is: 1) to "CYA" themselves and the clinic, and 2) to affirm each other's recommendations for all kinds of prescribed medications. And, what's up with these staffers who type every word said into a laptop during every visit?

Finding a diagnostic clinic which specializes in autistic adults is your best course of action, if you are still interested in a diagnosis. And, no, as I was told by one of my diagnostic clinics, you do not need a diagnostic referral in the United States unless your insurance requires it (doubtful).

Welcome to wrong planet

Yeah, anyone with an MD, including a psychiatrist, knows nothing about ASD. Sorry about all the hoops. Many of us have been through them all. I was left spinning my wheels after my diagnosing psychologist moved out of state. Even psychologists specialize or have just more experience with one population. So the one I moved to has a specialty in compulsive sexual behavior... Anyway, that one at least was able to address my anxiety/panic/depression, but my wife finally came across a clinic with people who specialize in adults with ASD. So relieved! I hope you can find one!

Thanks, I've just been checking them out.

I read the title of this thread and caught myself waving at the monitor

I've started to research the diagnosis of adult autism and clinics which specialize in that diagnosis, and it looks like it is going to be complicated. Adult autism is apparently not an easy diagnosis, and it helps me understand the strange "I refuse to say yes, and I refuse to say no", attitude of my psychiatrist. CYA, as you say. I gotta start making lists and checking them twice.

Yes. And, don't forget your written list of behaviors, characteristics and comorbids. Clinicians usually enjoy such lists because it helps them stay focused, ask questions about the list, and determine things that they would otherwise have forgotten to ask or notice. Autistic adults are notoriously good at masking, and too many diagnosticians fail to realize that.

Wow, I expected difficulties, but so far this is looking impossible. I've called hospitals and agencies and they all keep sending me elsewhere. This is NYC. Does anyone know where to go? Everyone keeps passing the buck. Where's the first rung of the ladder?