Trying to explain who I am

Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ]

Ven_
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 20 Sep 2016
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 27

20 Sep 2016, 10:10 am

Well, this has been on my to-do list for a while. I guess my mental state has gotten bad enough that I can no longer deal with the stresses of daily life by myself, and need to reach out to others who think and feel like I do. Hence, here we are.

Before I get into my thoughts on this and that and the other thing, you might be thinking "This guy is pretty articulate for an Aspie", and I would say, well observed! You deserve a cookie. Journey to a local convenience store if you must But I assure you, I am autistic, I am most definitely real, and I do think like you do. I just have a strong intellect intact through all that. It's not as big of a blessing as you might think. The thing I am most keenly aware of is how much my disability does hold me back. It's akin to someone being given the legs of an Olympic runner and then being paralyzed from the waist down. But, I digress.

My screen name comes from a character in my favorite book series, the Mistress of Dragons trilogy by Margaret Weis, as well as a lovely combination of nursing a state of being perpetually angry with the world. ESPECIALLY the hoity-toity Neurotypicals who have the audacity to judge me.

I currently live in Texas and work for a grocery store that I would rather go unnamed, as I have no idea how good their internet ninjas actually are, and have worked as a cartpusher for about a year and a half now. Before that, I worked at a walmart for a year doing the same job, so you can imagine the super funtime vacation that was being autistic and working under those jackbooted chucklemongers. But I have noticed a pattern.

No matter where I go, or what I do, or how well I do my job, and I do a good job no matter what I'm tasked with, I'm always assailed with that one boss who seems to love nothing better than the idea of me living under a bridge. Their abuse, harassment, and micromanagement comes up in a big incident every few weeks once they make the decision that my employment is something that should no longer have a pulse and I have no idea why. Truth be told, my autism isn't really holding me back. I know that it's something I have to deal with, and have made the best effort to make it positive for everyone around me no matter how adverse the conditions are. From my perspective, the handicapped people are everyone else around me. They don't seem to want to have fun or joke or be happy at work, DEFINITELY don't want to work in an efficient way that gets things done, don't want to offend anyone by action or inaction, and don't want to stand for anything. Some people call them "Nuerotypicals" but I think "Zombie" is a far more apt term.

So, if you've made it this far through my introductory wall of text, congrats, enjoy yourself another cookie. I hope you had the good sense to buy more than one at said local convenience store. You now have a pretty good idea of who I am.