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Hello, I am a newbie here. I'm not very big on social media or forums(I tend to isolate myself a lot)-- but I decided to reach out in hopes of getting some guidance/support.

I am a 35 year-old female from the Southeastern US, and I will soon be starting graduate school (nutrition with a focus on lifestyle management and disease prevention)...if I don't completely have a meltdown with all of the stress in my life right now. I am married to another neuroatypical/neurodivergent. My dog (Charlie) and my cat (Darwin) are my only children

My life-loves are:
colors and patterns (in fashion or art), creating mixed-media art and writing poetry, biology and environmental topics (bioremediation is pretty amazing), plant-based nutrition and anatomy/physiology, insects & plants (and their taxonomy), macro photography (of mostly insects and plants)

My diagnoses:
I have been diagnosed with severe obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, multiple anxiety disorders, sensory processing disorder....the list goes on. (I also have a fibromyalgia diagnosis as I have problems with pain processing and chronic muscle spasms). I have a very close Aspie friend who has pressed me over the years to look into the possibility of being on the autism spectrum, but I avoided the topic for some reason unbeknownst to me. It wasn't until recently that I discovered that Aspie symptoms in females can differ greatly than those exhibited in males. I was completely stunned (and broke into tears) when I saw how closely my symptoms paralleled those on the list.

So more about my plight:
- I am VERY avoidant of social situations. I sometimes convince myself that staying in my house is better/safer than dealing with other people and all of the complex emotions that are attached to them. Going to the grocery store or having a conversation can prove very painful/stressful for me. I have meltdowns multiple times a week. I have locked myself indoors for over a month at a time. I am well-educated, but I find it hard to pursue work or tolerate work (or have confidence in myself). I am SO tired of imprisoning myself, but the alternative seems equally terrible sometimes.
- I also get in to what I call "obsessive loops." These "loops" can be brought on by sensory input (awful textures or smells mostly) but can also be caused by really strange things like getting songs stuck in my head or irrational things like being afraid that I won't go to sleep. These loops lead to multiple panic attacks and a LOT of adrenaline. I have a history of ritualizing as well, but I work very hard to keep this in check. Side note-- I have a long history of problems with textures and smells/tastes, and I sometimes find that the three senses overlap (does anyone else have this problem?).

I am desperate to find some peace in this chaotic world. I feel drained and so very out of place. I hope I can find some support or even find some friendships here!

Welcome! I like your avatar. Is it you?

If you want to pursue an autism diagnosis, there are some things you can do in the privaccy of your own home to prepare for it, or simply help you decide whether you wish to pursue it.

One good first step is to complete the Wired magazine "Take the AQ test" self-scoring online version of the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre "Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) Test" ( https://www.wired.com/2001/12/aqtest/ ). Please note that the test's threshold score is no longer 32, but is now 35 or 36.

There are some other good online tests that you can complete to help you know more about yourself. The Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale-Revised (RAADS-R) ( http://www.aspietests.org/raads/ ) includes several of the AQ questions, but also includes many others to help determine some poossible other reasons for your behaviors and characteristics.

I will send a private message to you at your WrongPlanet.net account explaing more about the things you can do to learn more.

Good luck!

Hey Flown welcome.

Thank you! And, yup.

Thanks so much! Nice to make your acquaintance.

Thank you for the information!

Cool. You have awesome hair.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Thank you!