More like "uhh... Hi..." if I'm being honest, but that's beside the point. Or is it?
Anyway, I'm Adrian and...
I'm currently in this spot of “i think i might be somewhere on the spectrum at least but i really can't be sure”.
Being in the lgbt community (nonbinary aro-ace here!) I've been in the spot before of not wanting to identify fully as something until I knew it applied to me, but the self-identifying of gender and orientations are a little more… free? than the self-diagnosing and has more implications on others...etc.
Still, I've been lurking on the forums here for a couple days and reading other articles and taking quizzes and such and it seems to me that it's more and more of a possibility that I'm somewhere on the spectrum.
There are a lot of things that make me wonder “is this social anxiety (or other anxiety), or something related to an ASD”, but others have been noted as weird by my family/friends, like sensory things mostly, like:
(reading the following might make some uncomfortable, as they do me, since even just the thought of them makes me either want to cry/scream or just make me mad)
-fingernails on paper/cardboard
-spoons (for anything other than cereal or ice cream, but sometimes i go for forks on those too. Sporks are cool.)
-stickers (when i was little i would always cry/hide behind parents when going to walmart and the greeters would offer me a sticker (not sure if Just because of the stickers or bc old people kinda freak me out too)
-square graphics or patches on clothes make me so MAD!! GOD
-certain loud noises, or lots of noise, or repetitive noise makes me so nervous i need to lay down…
-mouth/body noises (i.e., eating w mouth open, picking food from teeth, gas noises)
-i pluck my eyebrows/chin/upper lip and pick my skin too, which i read have high rates in folks with asd
-certain foods i just can't swallow (ie rice, squash (found that out today))
I also have what a neurologist said forever ago was a nervous tic, in the form of loud hiccups which often are loud and squeaky (and incredibly annoying) and happen more when I'm anxious or excited
My stepmom says it's weird how I can easily cut ties with folks even if I was really close to them(though this applies more to irl friends than online ones), and that I'm also not very...deeply attached to family, but I'm not sure that it's something ”””wrong”’”, and that it's probably just part of my personality?
We also both can agree that i have always been REALLY into things when i get into them, whether it be overarching years, months, or even in week spurts. But that could just be me, of course.
A lot of this seems to be genetic, especially the noise bit, as my dad and i both get headaches and nervousness and shakes, though we just chalk it up to “nerves” i guess. He has PTSD but i don't, so I think that may be ruled out as the cause of that?
I feel like there was a lot more I was gonna say, but I know I've been rambling a lot already. Also it probably sounds like I'm asking yall to diagnose me, but I really just want some confirmation that I am (or am not) right to consider myself possible on-spectrum.
So I'll just say hi, hello, and put my Aspie Quiz scores here for good measure i guess? Oy.
Neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 156 out of 200
Neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 48 out of 200
24 Oct 2016, 7:32 pm
