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Its been about a year since I first found out about the possibility of being an aspie. And after a lot of introspection, behavior analysis, obsessing over the autism spectrum, and going deep through memory lane, I'm now 99.99% sure I'm an aspie.

This journey was triggered by a painful depression, caused by being burnout in my previous job, which was the worse I've ever had. I had other depressions over the years but none was as dark and long as this one. Before this journey I only thought I was a weirdo, strange, introverted, peculiar, I learned early in life that I couldn't do and say everything that came to my mind, so I spent a lot of years being the silent, deep, weird dude in the room, always obsessing at trying to understand human behavior and finding viable strategies to reach my goals.

As you've may already noticed English is not my first language, so I apologize if my writing is weird and/or with errors.

A little more about me:

I'm from Portugal, college dropout and self-taught in design and development, currently focusing in creating innovative ways to merge technology and creativity, while pursuing my longtime dream of making video-games/interactive stories. I'm also thinking to be more vocal about the adults in the autism spectrum in my country, since there's almost nothing happening and most people just know about the classic autism.

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I'm here hoping to share my experiences and get to know others on the spectrum, specially because I live in a small countryside village where there's still a lot of judging and lack of knowledge, and its difficulty to share things without being looked like the village fool.

If you which to know anything more about me feel free to question here or via private message.

Thanks!

Maybe it might be helpful to get an official diagnosis.
After 8 years of introspection and depressions (going on from much earlier in life until now) I was 90 procent sure (I didn't dare to say 99 procent).

I watched "ask an autistic" on youtube a lot and she clearly explains autistic traits in very understandable language, and I also like her voice a lot.

For me, even though I was so sure, I still doubted my introspection, although I recognized so much of it in myself. Even before anybody told me about my autistic traits, I already was looking for it, and now, after so many years, I have the diagnosis and all the puzzle pieces fit. I only have my diagnosis a couple of days now, so I'm still trying on this new, well-fitting coat.

I welcome you to the community (of which I'm only recently have become a member myself).

Maybe it might be helpful to look for a local group of aspies, so you can see and talk to those of your tribe.
A good book I might recommend is the one by tony Attwood. Very friendly guy as well (I mailed him.)

Absolutely, I sent an email months ago to a national association asking for the next steps, but never heard back from them. I don't think there are those whom specialize or even know that there are undiagnosed adults on the spectrum in my country, my plan is to go and get diagnosed in another european country when/if I can earn the money for that.

I didn't go to detail about how I self-diagnosed and my aspie traits, but I'm planning to list them with associated memories/experiences to help with the official diagnosis.

Its like you said, all the puzzle pieces fit, I also studied other mental disorders because I didn't want to believe at first, and had trouble accepting that my brain may just be different.

I had a lot of difficulties growing up, suffered from bullies, people took advantage of me due to my ingenuity/naivety, I have obsessive interests, repetitive behaviors, hand and vocal stims, sensory sensitivity (specially sound and light), can't make small talk at all and look at peoples eyes, I usually only talk about my interests and only when asked about them, insomnia since I was 9, people also call me rude and/or arrogant even though I have no intention of that. I also need to shutdown after long periods trying to socialize or hanging in places with lots of people/lights/noise, if I don't I can't focus and can't produce good meaningful work again. People also call me robotic, say I think/act like a computer, and I spend a lot of time alone without feeling the need to interact or share things about me/my life.

I've looked for local aspies but like I said in my country is very difficult and/or practically nonexistent, I lurk at the aspergers reddit and follow some aspies on youtube and its like finally founding people whom share my difficulties and quirks, more so than any other explanation.

Its also worth noting that since I was a kid I tried to find something to explain my strangeness, at first was astrology, then I found about the mbti which I'm fluid between intj and infp, and after that I spent some years self medicating with marijuana and tried to brute force myself to normality (which ended up in that horrible depression).

I think that was one of the first books I read, when I first started thinking I may be on the spectrum.

Thanks for the response and congratulations on getting your diagnosis, its good finally talking about this with other people on the spectrum.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!