Do you think I'm Aspie?

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Hi.

My name is Peter. I'm 55. When I first read about Asperger's I recognized myself immediately, but then when I read further I started having doubts about my diagnostic ability. There are traits that I lack and I don't know how important they are to the syndrome. Without them, am I just 'higher functioning' or am I something other than an Aspie?

My Asperger's traits:
Toe walking, funny gait, and clumsiness. I could never play ball, couldn't socialize with kids my age when I was young and didn't want to socialize with them when I was older. I have an aversion to loud noise and color, being touched by people that I know, having my picture taken, eye contact and chit chat. As a child I was a 'little professor' with my family and my elderly friends. I tested high, but never did homework, and dreaded school. Recess and gym were hell. I really felt that I had been sent here to Earth as an observer. I'm a loner. I'm overly sensitive to criticism. I don't express affection well at all. When people cross me, I have no desire to retaliate, I just walk away and write them off. I cannot lie and don't feel that bad about it, whatever people think. I don't like to be in a room with more than three other people that I know. I've gone through life following obsession after obsession without a thought for financial security or the future. I pass for being much younger than I am, my natural expression is a scowl, my voice is extremely deep and raspy, and my front teeth are large and spaced, which all seem to be common traits here, surprisingly.

Associated traits:
Lifelong suicidal depression. Anxiety. Abnormal memories. (I learned in a high school psychology course that the person experiencing good mental health forgets the bad things and remembers the good. It was the first time that I realized my brain did the opposite. Bad memories are always at the forefront for me and good times are hard to recall and most of them fade away with time.)

Asperger's traits that I lack:
I hate dealing with numbers. I feel empathy. I'm actually very good at reading people, so much so that I have been called psychic by some. I am known for vividly capturing peoples' personalities in my portraits. Judging by the laughter I induce, I have a good sense of humor. Sardonic, with a dry delivery. I never had a problem with colloquialisms, sarcasm or metaphor. I'm intuitive, introspective, and self-conscious. I don't like routines in and of themselves. I don't have any rituals or repetitive behavior to speak of. I don't mind crowds of strangers or being touched by strangers. I'm careful about my appearance when going out. One friend once accused me of misleading people by being 'indiscriminately charming.' (I think that because I can be sociable when I want to, people take my natural preference for solitude as rejection.)

I have taken a few AS tests and my scores vary. According to the tests that include a lot of questions about crowds, rituals and numbers, I don't have the syndrome. I would like to know how people here feel. Would I be considered one of the group? Be honest, not polite.

Welcome to Wrongplanet!

Yeah, well, I'm missing all those AS traits that you are and I got a pretty clear diagnosis. People with AS can be math's geniuses or have dyscalculia or be hyperlexic or dyslexic. We're all different and online tests will never make a real diagnosis. You've obviously worked hard at socialising in your life.

I think a lot of people with autism are 'psychic'. There's nothing supernatural about being able to see things that people with normal brains can't. The problem is that having the insight that nearly everyone in the worlds is out to get everyone else is one thing. Believing it when you can only see the world as an ordered system is another. Trying to see the nastiness in most people when you can't imagine doing something vindictive yourself is bound to make people appear nuts.

Anyway, there are plenty of people on here who haven't been diagnosed and you seem like a really good guy Peter. Welcome again.

Not every person with Asperger's has every trait.

I have 2 sons with Asperger's and they have vastly different personalities.

From your description you sound pretty Aspie!

Welcome to WP and have fun!

Welcome to WP!

Tim

Asperger's traits that I lack? Lol, stick around and read some more. I'm 56 and when we get to this point in life, we've figured out how to get by in the outside world. Coping skills. Sometimes they work and sometimes they fail. The tests are not geared to people like ourselves, we've been around to long. I needed help taking the damn things. At what point in time do they want the answer for. Pretty easy for someone that has only been on earth for 20 years or less. Christ didn't even know I stimmed till my wife pointed it out to me, I have just done it so long.

What you wrote about yourself, well it's me, in many many ways. I liked gym, it was the last seven minutes where I worried, I would never get dressed in time to get to the next class, it was hell everytime. Even though my mind would go elsewhere during what ever that next class was. It wasn't till recently that I learned I'm deslixic. I don't like numbers, but I like the math.

I think you´d diagnose for it. I have the same doubts for different reasons. I´ll be seeing my GP this week to talk about it.
My goal isn´t however being diagnosed in and of itself. I think you and many others here don´t see that as a goal either. I am definitely ´wrong planet´, ask anyone who knows me even just a bit. My goal is to figure myself out, finding weaknesses and strenghts. For example I always though I could concentrate very well and also could visualize when reading. Close self examination made it clear to me I don´t. So I´m changing me learning style and it´s paying off already.
Something I was sure I was good at was reading long complicated stories. I prided myself on reading Lord of the Rings in three days. I did but thinking back I now know I missed 75% of the story. The realisation felt like having a slight disability. Yet I came to realize that there are certain things I can at and the effort is wasted. It was just a bit hard crashing into a wall I hadn´t seen.
I fully plan to get every bit of advantage out of who I am, every single bit. ´If you know your limits, there is no limit to what you can do within them´ (Jules Deelder, dutch poet).

Hi,

I'm a mum to a 14yr old boy who I think, no - I'm convinced has AS. I have a question for anyone that would be kind enough to respond honestly. Has there ever been a time after your diagnosis that you wish you hadn't been diagnosed? In other words, do you wish that you were just bumbling through life without being aware of havin a neurological disorder? The reason I'm asking is I really don't know by having my son diagnosed with AS, whether this will help or hinder him in life. It's something that I have discussed with him and he's ok with the 'label' - he said he's always known he was different. We live in England and I would also be grateful to know what extra help, if any, you get in schools in the US.

Any advice/comments would be much appreciated.


Thanks

Hi lola1

I am not diagnosed yet (that is just a formality) but having that 'label' is very important to me.

I have found throughout my life I need labels. Labels give me direction and meaning. Kinda like having a job title, you know what is expected of you and what role you have to play. It will give me a formal 'slot' that I fit into.

I cant wait for my diagnosis but it doesnt mean I will tell everyone. But it will give me reason in my life.

Thanks Seasparrow,

I honestly haven't thought of it that way before. It didn't even occur to me that he may feel like he needs that 'label'. All I can see is the big picture and how others may react to him - this is all so new to me!!

Well its still very new to me. But the more I learn about it the more I have answers for why I am the way I am.

The label I have carried most of my life is being called 'weird'. Now I know I'm not weird, I just work differently to what is considered socially normal.

To be honest I love that I have AS. It is quite empowering for me to have this knowledge.

I am reminded of a quote I saw on another AS site, which I left: "If you've seen one person with autism/AS, you've seen one person with autism/AS." Everyone has different abilities and difficulties.

AS traits I have:

Good memory
Interest in facts
Unusual special interests
Sensitivity to odors and noise
Face blindness (mild, but enough to cause embarrassment)
Anxiety
Love of animals, especially cats

AS traits I don't have or traits that have diminished over time:

Inability to read people (this has much improved from childhood)
Inability to make and keep friends (Again, a great improvement over my childhood days)
I do have a strong personal spiritual belief. I don't go to church, but I do believe in God.
Negative worldview ("Glass half empty" thinking). I do get stressed at times, but I have all overall positive view on life.

From what you say, I think you sound charmingly aspie.
Indiscriminate charm could be a little social abnormality (it's well documented that people with Asperger's don't usually put on a 'polite front', but behave very similar to everyone, because they can't read the different way different people might be more responsive to different attitudes), but that must be one of your good traits as well.
I have the bad-memories too, and it's because contrary to what most people think, aspies are likely to be more sensitive than other people. If you hagve to use intellectual thought to assess things people say to you (rather than a neuro-typical instinct), you're liable to over-analyse things and because of the low social confidence aspies often have, you're more likely to think it's worse than it was intended to be.
OK, I hope that was helpful and not just rambling. *smile*

You have enough to join the club, it only takes three out of twelve, and not enough to be in need of changing anything, the best of both worlds.

I am 60, too late to change, but knowing gives me something to enjoy. It does explain a lot, but I was doing those things before, and now do them the same.