Feeling Lost

Post Reply New Topic

Hi, I'm a 37 year old single mother living in England, I'm pretty sure that I have high-functioning autism, I've never been diagnosed and neither has my daughter even though her school therapist has said that she would diagnose her as being on the autistic spectrum. I've always avoided diagnosis as I don't feel that any treatment is necessary(or even possible) and that it's ok to be different, and I guess I feel that an official label would give me easy excuse not to deal with my own failings.

I'm socially very isolated, I don't have family or friends nearby, I am capable of passing as "normal" in everyday situations but struggle to make friends and maintain relationships, I have allot of hobbies and interests but find most people boring and uninteresting, the only friends I have are online and I tend not to be very open with them because I feel they wouldn't understand.

I've suffered from depression on and off for most of my life, I feel incredibly lonely and often feel total despair at not being able to maintain even the most basic friendships. I worry for my daughters future as she is just like me in so many ways.

Good Day
I have felt that "something was wrong' with me my whole life. Since I've started to identify the causes for my issues it's opening doors and now I'm hopeful. You might feel you're passing as normal but how we perceive who we are and how the world sees us can be entirely different. Working on a diagnosis is helping identify my areas of deficiency so I have a starting point.
After some searching and lots of emails I found an Aspie group in my area. I am hopeful I can learn, grow, and maybe get a friend from this. Having experienced the treatments for HFA first hand, my step-son has Autism, I have hope. Ive learned to "pass" for normal so I'm confident I can build on that to "feel" more normal.
All we can do for our kids is Love with everything and do our best to nurture them. I've "learned" how to behave so I teach them my ways but I'm not always right. I don't want them to grow up emotionally stunted like I am. I've been honest with my children, they now understand the days that I struggle it's not them. They now realize it's ok to ask for help and together we are a stronger family.
Reach out to everyone you can no matter where they are, help is all around you.

Hi, I'm new here too, and can relate, I 'always felt different' too, socially awkward, shy, quiet, or I'd get chatty and not let any one else talk, or seem to bore people. I had friends, and still have some, but mostly seem to get left out, while others make friends and socialize without me. My good friends now are similar to me, in having kids on the spectrum and we highly suspect we are too. I understand your feelings with your daughter, mine is very much me, has got a diagnosis (Asperger's ) in hopes her school will support her, as she's also got a learning difficulty, as I do and my sons. With her though I feel she's more fortunate to know why she is like she is, be understood and encouraged to be herself by me and our family. She is my little bestie.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!