Newly Diagnosed (at 46) Aspie from Manchester, UK
Hello WP
I'm a 46 year old gay man from Manchester, UK who has just received a formal diagnosis of ASD (Aspergers). This resulted from a failed suicide attempt, 3 weeks in a hospital under Section, and then a period of crisis team support at home.
The diagnosis was a bit of a shock to be honest and I'm now trying to understand what it all means, but it certainly seems to explain a lot! Afters years of a cycling though depression and anxiety, time off work recovering, then throwing myself back into work only for the pattern to repeat I feel I may now be able to get a handle on things.
It appears that there is just no support for adults and I am already sick of being told I am 'High Functioning' and so should just carry on as before but maybe buy noise cancelling headphones (and that was my GP!). I have had a decent job for most of my life, own house and car (GSOH too!) but the depression has always been there causing problems.
I feel as though I am starting a new book, never mind a new chapter, and it is all a bit overwhelming.
Does anyone who has made it through to the other side have any helpful advice?
Cheers
Matthew
AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 72,446
Location: Portland, Oregon
Hello Mrs Peel
Yes, the Avatar is Dougal from the Magic Roundabout helping himself to a sugar cube.
Being diagnosed so late seems to make things tricky in terms of trying to undo a lifetime of coping mechanisms that are actually making things worse.
I'm doing a lot of reading to try and help find some useful insight.
_________________
Diagnosed July 2018:
Autism Spectrum Disorder - Asperger Syndrome ICD10 F84.5
TimS1980
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 20 Jan 2018
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 194
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Hi Matt,
There's a book called "very late diagnosis of asperger syndrome (autism spectrum disorder)" - many bits of that i found handy and applicable.
I experienced depression and burn-out in my IT role after an acquisition led to changed working circumstances. Learning my diagnosis and better self-care (along with a career transition) are starting to turn things around for me.
I definitely recommend the book in my sig.
On other occasions (with a proper keyboard) I've written more about my experiences. Those posts are searchable via my profile.
I'll check back here another time. All the best for now.
_________________
"Stress happens. It can be a stimulus for growth. It can plough you under if not offset by rest. I strongly recommend checking out Peak Performance by Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness, on Audible."
Hello Matt and welcome, you look like you are beyond a new book and into an entirely different library. Welcome to Wrong Planet.
I'm in Cheshire, was diagnosed in my late 50's and was told at my follow up interview after the dx that there is no help available for adult aspies, and that is just how it is.
Warm greetings
If you look at the NAS site there are a couple of aspie activity centres in the north, one in manchester and another one nearer Preston. These places charge money for time there. I have never been to one as they won't let me smoke.
The NAS site is worth looking at, and I have used their phone line with good results a couple of times.
My way of coping was to be more selective in the type of work I do, I actually turned down a permanent job in favour of a temporary one which was less triggering of the autism. This to avoid repeating a burn-out experience from a few years ago.
It worked out well because the temp position turned into a permanent one, but I know I was very lucky and not everyone is going to have things work out for them like that. When I read others' stories I realise I'm fortunate to have a job at all.
Not sure what I'm trying to say, really. Maybe that it's good to have a diagnosis, to help us understand our issues and find ways to help ourselves, even if nobody else understands.
Hello and welcome to WP Matt!
I myself have recently been diagnosed at 33, and for me it has been a rollercoaster of emotions following my diagnosis.
I have read so much on the subject that I feel comfortable in that I understand everything about myself now, but my main stress is now how to go about telling people about it, and if I should or not?
I was so relieved to have found an answer for my lifelong struggle, but it now irritates me how most of society are really unaccepting of ‘mild autism’ and unfortunately I don’t think any amount of education will change people’s minds.
I found Tony Attwoods book ‘the complete guide to Asperger Syndrome’ to be quite helpful, and based on Tim’s recommendation of the ‘very late diagnosis of Asperger syndrome’ book, I have just ordered it now
One of the most useful things I found was this (for want of a better word) psychological paper:
https://www.michaelsamsel.com/Content/A ... proach.pdf
Written by an Aspie psychologist, this document put into words things that I never could - but also things I didn’t know I had issues with.
It’s like somebody has written a Haynes manual on how my brain works!
I will echo what Alexanderplatz said, that there generally doesn’t seem to be any help whatsoever in this country post-diagnosis for adults, but hopefully due to the circumstances of your diagnosis you will receive more help.
I have a friend who moved to Manchester and they have told me that the mental health services there are much better than they are here in North Wales.
Good luck and all the best!
_________________
Confirmed ASD as of 19/12/17
Your neurodiverse score: 177 of 200
Your neurotypical score: 34 of 200
Hello Matt
My emotions went, first up, then a couple of weeks later down, post diagnoses. What got me back up and then steady was WP. Just being in contact for the first time in my life with people who got me. Being here also helped in that I noticed a lot of people had issues caused by their anxiety, such as incontinence, which lead me to prioritise dealing with my anxiety over everything else, even my obsessive behavour. This is a work in progress but so far I highly recommend it.
_________________
climate change petition, please sign
Petition against Amazon selling 'make downs extinct' t-shirts. And other hate speech paraphernalia.
TimS1980
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 20 Jan 2018
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 194
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Great posts, folks!
I also especially liked Be Different by John Elder Robison as he seemed to prioritize helpful insights &advice.
Recently, I've benefited most from knowldge about my diagnosis and recent insights about self-care gleaned from Peak Performance.
I've also benefited a lot from sharing with the WP community.
_________________
"Stress happens. It can be a stimulus for growth. It can plough you under if not offset by rest. I strongly recommend checking out Peak Performance by Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness, on Audible."
Hello everyone and thanks for the message
I read the Very Late Diagnosis ... book by Philip Wylie before I went for the diagnosis, which was a real eye opener in terms of depression/anxiety and burnout, and helped me appreciate what others were saying about potentially being on the Spectrum.
I'm working my way through a few books at the moment on AS and Anxiety (Nick Dubin), Been There, Done That, Try This!, and The Complete Guide to AS by Tony Atwood. It does help to hear other people's perspective and I have had a few 'light bulb' moments already.
Had an Occupation Health appointment for work at the weekend and luckily it went OK. The Dr told me not to even think about going back to work right now and said to wait until I had the anxiety more under control. He also recommend using Access to Work to help agree a revised job role with my employer when I am ready to go back, which seems sensible. I have also got the Union involved and they are helping by talking to HR with my line manager. I'm glad I work in the Civil Service as I can't imagine a private sector employer being so reasonable.
My social worker is taking me to Space4Autism in Macclesfield next week to see what they do and if I want to join there adult support group. Terrible at groups but I'm going to go and do the one to one first and see how it feels. At least it is local and I can walk. The groups in Manchester are a bit of a trek by public transport and I'm not up for that just yet.
Again, thanks for the posts and recommendations.
M
I'm a 46 year old gay man from Manchester, UK who has just received a formal diagnosis of ASD (Aspergers). This resulted from a failed suicide attempt, 3 weeks in a hospital under Section, and then a period of crisis team support at home.
The diagnosis was a bit of a shock to be honest and I'm now trying to understand what it all means, but it certainly seems to explain a lot! Afters years of a cycling though depression and anxiety, time off work recovering, then throwing myself back into work only for the pattern to repeat I feel I may now be able to get a handle on things.
It appears that there is just no support for adults and I am already sick of being told I am 'High Functioning' and so should just carry on as before but maybe buy noise cancelling headphones (and that was my GP!). I have had a decent job for most of my life, own house and car (GSOH too!) but the depression has always been there causing problems.
I feel as though I am starting a new book, never mind a new chapter, and it is all a bit overwhelming.
Does anyone who has made it through to the other side have any helpful advice?
Cheers
Matthew
Hey Matthew , welcome to WP dude , your story sounds very familiar and is almost a carbon copy of what happened to me 4 years ago ( although It's taken 3 years to get a diagnosis ). The diagnosis was not a shock to me as I spent a year here doing research. I am now in that limbo transitional stage myself and still decompressing so the only advice I can give is stick around , do research , join in some of the fun threads as well. Above all realise that you are not alone any more
My specialist said that high functioning and 'mild' ASD DOES NOT mean mild problems. It is really common to be your age , have your health and job background and get a late diagnosis due to failing mental health , we are in a group that is getting larger by the minute. My specialist came out of retirement as she thought there would be no more adults to diagnose by 2014 , the statistics that will come out in 2021 ? will be shocking.
I just wanted to point out that St John's Wort effects everyone differently , it made me very unwell and might of been one of the catalysts to my last suicide attempt - do your research if you going to self medicate and be really careful.
_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1
Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard
I'm a 46 year old gay man from Manchester, UK who has just received a formal diagnosis of ASD (Aspergers). This resulted from a failed suicide attempt, 3 weeks in a hospital under Section, and then a period of crisis team support at home.
The diagnosis was a bit of a shock to be honest and I'm now trying to understand what it all means, but it certainly seems to explain a lot! Afters years of a cycling though depression and anxiety, time off work recovering, then throwing myself back into work only for the pattern to repeat I feel I may now be able to get a handle on things.
It appears that there is just no support for adults and I am already sick of being told I am 'High Functioning' and so should just carry on as before but maybe buy noise cancelling headphones (and that was my GP!). I have had a decent job for most of my life, own house and car (GSOH too!) but the depression has always been there causing problems.
I feel as though I am starting a new book, never mind a new chapter, and it is all a bit overwhelming.
Does anyone who has made it through to the other side have any helpful advice?
Cheers
Matthew
Hey Matthew , welcome to WP dude , your story sounds very familiar and is almost a carbon copy of what happened to me 4 years ago ( although It's taken 3 years to get a diagnosis ). The diagnosis was not a shock to me as I spent a year here doing research. I am now in that limbo transitional stage myself and still decompressing so the only advice I can give is stick around , do research , join in some of the fun threads as well. Above all realise that you are not alone any more
My specialist said that high functioning and 'mild' ASD DOES NOT mean mild problems. It is really common to be your age , have your health and job background and get a late diagnosis due to failing mental health , we are in a group that is getting larger by the minute. My specialist came out of retirement as she thought there would be no more adults to diagnose by 2014 , the statistics that will come out in 2021 ? will be shocking.
I just wanted to point out that St John's Wort effects everyone differently , it made me very unwell and might of been one of the catalysts to my last suicide attempt - do your research if you going to self medicate and be really careful.
_________________
climate change petition, please sign
Petition against Amazon selling 'make downs extinct' t-shirts. And other hate speech paraphernalia.
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