Newbie ASD Alien

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Hi there. I am a 47 year old female and was just diagnosed with high functioning ASD. I was also diagnosed with some psychotic symptoms that the Psych thinks are related to the autism.

I've been under treatment for bipolar since I was 18 and have had 'episodes' about every 4-6 years... well, this last one I had about a month ago meant I was getting migraines every other day, drinking when I got home from my job so I could alleviate brain and body pain (I've had a high person-oriented job I started a year ago)--- just to do it all over again the next day --- ONE more 'normal' job I've worked hard to get and can't manage! (got this one after grad school for MBA-IT)... and then the 'suicide monster' started coming back into my mind's eye.

I decided to write down my timeline of these episodes (I think of time in a weird linear bending way of space and particles)... and when I saw the image, and wrote down they sensory symptoms... I realized I was having sensory overload (not a manic episode)... Googled it and found an aspie woman with the same thing... took an aspie quiz and it was very clearly neurodivergent... went to my Psychiatrist and two weeks later have a diagnosis.

It is all making sense in reverse, all of my life, that is. I've been away from work for 5 days.. and am having continual flashbacks to childhood where things make sense now. I've taken 20 years of acting classes and been masking in real life over and over and over without even knowing it... I have always just tried to be 'normal'.

The diagnosis is disorienting, but the autism clinic psychologist said we will be able to work on this and figure out a way for me find my new 'me'... the 'real me'...

Thanks for being here.
----
Me at age 3, walking and talking in my sleep: "Mommy, I want to go home."
My Mom: "You are home, honey."

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome Dragonfly!

I think you will find that masking and the effect it has on delaying diagnosis is a really common theme around here . Glad that you finally figured things out!, now you are going to have to decide whether dealing with constant sensory overload is worth it. As far as the acting classes, that is pretty cool. I'm aware others have said there are multiple famous actors who are aspies like Sir Anthony Hopkins. I think sometimes due to a lack of natural instinctual ability to understand social cues and body language, it can force one to spend a whole life of being a very shrewd observer of human behavior and learn to imitate it well (don't know if that was the case for you or not!). The only problem with living your whole life behind a mask is that you can forget who you are and lose sight of what is best for yourself in the craziness of trying to fit in and achieve societal goals. I hope you find the happy medium that is perfect for you as an individual .

Welcome DragonflyQueen!

I LOVE your username

Enjoy the forum!