Hi, I'm new

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Hello people,

I'm new to Wrong Planet and this is my first post. I am in the process of calling places in my area that do ASD assessments for adults. I am not sure I want to go through with it (so expensive), but I've run out of ideas for how to communicate better with my parents and help us understand each other. That's one of the reasons I'm looking into getting assessed. I'm hoping a diagnosis from a professional will help us get on the same page. Any advice on preparing for an assessment, or improving communication with parents, it'd be great to learn from your experience! Thank you.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

welcome to wrong planet. sorry, no good advice, i live without an official diagnosis.

Welcome to WP!

welcome

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

Most parent love their children and wish them well. It may not always seem that way but it is generally true.

So if you want to get closer to them. Start by telling them that you love them, explain your condition and help them to come to an understanding of the condition. And ask for their help.

Thank you for the warm welcome everyone!

Thank you very much for your comment and tips, jimmy. I think you are right; my parents have sacrificed a lot over the years for my siblings and I, and I believe we do love each other. I'm starting to get the idea that I don't express that I love them very well, or maybe just not the way they would appreciate. Since I started learning about autism a few months ago, it could explain A LOT of my issues with relationships (people thinking I don't like them and me not picking up on that because they won't tell me they're hurt). I've since been trying my best to improve communication (which was never really there even in my childhood) by telling them about ASD and how it might explain a lot of my quirks and sensitivities. Since I struggle to communicate verbally, I also started writing articles (on topics like nonverbal communication, small talk, sensory issues) for them so I can spell out what goes on in my head during everyday situations that lead to misunderstandings.

The trouble is, my parents respond by saying they already know me and think they understand what I'm trying to say, but then the next day will say things like "Why can't you just (do the thing I just told them was hard for me and had already given an alternative idea)." Or my mom asked why I wipe off where people touch me because she honestly wanted to know my perspective, but when I tried to explain why I dislike the feeling, she said "Well people see it as rude, so you need to work on not doing that." I don't know what else to tell her. I want to believe she would be more understanding if she could, but I've run out of ideas for how I can help them understand. They sometimes express concern, like when I recently went through a few weeks of burnout, but it's more like "Why are you not..." They haven't done research on ASD outside of whatever I tell them directly. My mom admitted that she doesn't really believe I'm autistic. That's why I'm thinking I should pursue a diagnosis. The last thing I want is for things to get really bad and then get misdiagnosed and put on meds for all kinds of things while ignoring what I think is really going on. This happened to someone I know. And as hard and frustrating as it is (I'm sure any adult who lives with their parents can relate), I really do want to build a relationship with my parents. Better late than never, right?

Again, it's entirely possible that I'm misunderstanding my parents on all of this. The communication difficulties go both ways. Anyway, sorry to anyone reading this, I know it got long and ranty. But I figure if there are humans who can relate to any of this, it'd be y'all .