Kinda new Aspie - kinda confused

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Greetings everyone,

My name is Ramsey. I was unofficially diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome a little over 5 years ago. Until I moved to Washington DC, my family and community supported me without labels...DC not so much. Left my government job as an absolute wreck. Getting better - learning what I need for support and how to advocate for myself.

That said, I am Native American and gay - a triple minority I guess. WARNING - I am sure what I write next will be offensive to some. I guess that biggest difficulty I am having an aspie right now, is differentiating between my needs based upon their origin....which is just silly imho. For example, I need clear instructions. Now, i know my definition of "clear" isn't everyone's. Ok...so we talk, we discuss, I ask question as do you, and we provide answers. Now is my need to ask questions and get clear instructions a sign of aspie-ness? Or, specifically, when I ask women, who are bosses, questions I am being sexist? But wouldn't refusing to ask them questions be sexist?? But that is not what they attack. In nearly every case they attack my Native-American-ness or my homosexuality. Because of this, though I don't think it is true, I have had far more women attack my race than men. Specifically, college educated black women have attacked me on the biases of my Native America heritage more than anyone else - yet I don't think its actually race related. I think they have difficulties dealing with me as an aspie - but they can't see it. My race and sex they can see - so that's what they attack.

Also note, in my private life, I have more female friends than men. None of my female friends seem to think I am sexist...tho they all agree that I should avoid female bosses in the future...but wouldn't that make me sexist?? Or would it simply being acknowledging my own situation? Do i

Hi Ramsey and welcome to WP!

I'm a gay South African in a multicultural society and happy to meet a Native American! Love the culture and the pow wow music.

You are at liberty e ask questions in the workplace as long as they are respectful. I have had both good and bad experiences in the workplace when I worked full time. We Aspies do indeed like to have things explained properly. Part of the reason I didn't last very long at the last place I worked full time.

I wish you a long and happy stay here and hope you'll find some answrrz among our fantastic community of fellow Aspies.

welcome to wrong planet. native american? i find ur race very good looking, and the culture highly interesting. u guys have wonderful tales! as to being attacked for anything, we have here a lot of discussion done about that. might get to do another round xD breakdown line, people, who want to mess with other ppl, just look for excuses. dont pay them attention. any gender, race, neurobuild, or other division doesnt affect what person u are. i have non-binary friends, who i highly treasure, and then non-binary not-friend (because of that specific person's attitude to certain non-gender-related things). being open about stuff just flushes out whtever bigoted idiots happen to be around, next move is to flush them down) they dont deserve to be thought about!
and welcome to the planet, thats right for u!)

Hi machai, maybe your bosses feel that you are questioning their authority and don't understand that you are trying to get an accurate idea of what they want from you. Could that be what is happening?

in my experience, an NT can get enraged by being asked questions, because "it is so obvious" and they think they are being trolled, ya. they just dont try to listen and imagine somebody might not get their "obvious". and i specifically used term NT because an allistic person can still be ND and understanding ^^

^ Even when I'm trying to double check instructions some people carry on talking at the same speed and nothing gets and clearer. When this happens I feel like I have to say "no" and "but" a lot as I attempt to slow them down and I feel like I want to roll my eyes at them because they are pre-empting my questions. I end up with the impression that they think I am being pedantic or that it's me who is interrupting them when I just need them to listen to my question.

Last edited by Sahn on 02 Dec 2018, 8:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

Greetings! I am also a triple minority. I have both Aspergers and Bipolar Disorder, I am gay aswell, and I am racially mixed being an American with Caucasian and Pacific Islander heritage.

I've never been a victim of racism I think because I look more white than I do Polynesian (I have the dark hair and full red lips though), but I have experienced homophobia and been mistreated for having conditions like Aspergers. I actually hate having Bipolar Disorder more than I do Aspergers though because a full blown manic episode can be very scary.

I used to get along better with females than I did males but as I get older I've started making more male friends and less female friends. I find that guys are just easier to talk to regardless if they are gay or straight and they either accept you or they don't accept you, they don't beat around the bush the way women do.

Thar's funny cause you're from Russia and I actually find burly Russian men to be very sexy. I love their manly accents!

It is 100% not sexist to ask for clear instruction.
In fact, I would say that these bosses you speak of are at least a little racist.

I think that the black women attacking you might actually be racist too. People don't seem to understand that anybody can be racist including black people. Racism exists in every culture.

ya people LOVE pulling cards like "sexist" when they just want to mess with u xD for example one such specimen had accused me of "harassing" them with questions and "only being there to annoy people" xd its just such a breed of d-bags xd they will allways find what to mess with, and its not because they are allistic, either. its because they are d-bags.

Is it being sexist when a woman says all men are pigs or dogs? I hear females say that.

yes its defo sexist and they should really go and live with pigs. but i think we are getting badly offtopic here xD maybe somebody creates a topic somewhere before the mods swoop in on us?) i have a few very long rants on the topic of extremism and putting labels on ppl xd

Yes, yes it is..
Some people say women can't be sexist (Despite their being slightly more women in the world than men), but I have seen a women literally say that all baby boys should be drowned in a river and men cut off from society. Unironically.

Maybe another one should be created, but in PPR people tend to be a lot less civil. And that is the only likely option.

Also both dogs and pigs are very sweet, hyper intelligent animals, no need for a double insult.

I agree! Doggies and Piggies are the cutest!

anybody saying "all x (insert any group of ppl) are y (insert any insulting or attemting to insult thing they say)" is just one huge button that sets off my rage mode. one of. i see that, i hit that. and yes, that includes "all allistics are as*holes", some ppl might see me hitting that just around here xD this includes groups we dont chose (as in, race, gender, sexual orientation, nation etc) and those we do (religion, profession, hobby). each and every group has its extremists, and they all belong in 1 cauldron. and well separated from people, who could suffer from their behaviour by association (as in, peaceful muslims receiving the s**t flying at jihadmongers). we cant change the world, but we can deal with our own understanding of it.