Hi my you can call me Eli if you want. Im 28 and though I'm not new to the spectrum (apparently)it is new to me. I have not been diagnosed yet but I am positive I'm an Aspie. I was misdiagnosed young as bipolar,ADHD ,BPD , Blah Blah Blah. The treatment however at best did nothing and at its worst made me a sociopath for 6 months. I finally gave up on meds and have been white knuckling every day for a few years now. I was raised as the scapegoat in an abusive home with a sociopath stepdad...so that was fun. Once I hit 19 I was put in rehab ( I had never even gotten drunk) and from there on I was passed around from rehab to rehab to family members back to rehab making stops in mental wards from time to time when I got tired. The whole time I did my best to "get better" I never understood why I couldn't get my s**t together. I try so hard to do the right thing, say the right thing, be kind, and stay calm. I never understood why it never worked. I want to do the right thing I know the answer but I don't know how to translate it to action. Then it happened last week at work I watched a lecture by Professor Tony Attwood about women on the spectrum and it was like he was talking about me. All the weird as fudge things I do that I never understood and tried so hard to fix....is not all broken. Its been an amazing week for me in some ways but in others it has been so hard. I finally know who I am and Im finally starting to feel ok with me but I still know so little about what to DO about it. My world is ruled by anxiety I get so anxious I hurt myself I vomit I get stuck inside for days I yell at my sweet loving helpful boyfriend when he tries to help. Im going to call my GP to set up an appointment to get the official diagnose on monday but does anyone have advice as to what i can do to start getting better now? Im pretty lost so any advice helps.
26 Jan 2019, 1:07 am
, but they have a tough time understanding...
