Hello there. Another newbie to the site and seeking others who understand the challenges and rewards that come with autism.
I was clinically diagnosed with asperger's about 7 years ago. Although it has helped me finally (sorta) understand my issues, it has unlocked more as the years have passed. I am a 43 year old woman who cannot keep a relationship, function in public places (without extreme panic), speak to strangers (even though I don't necessarily want to), take care of myself hygienically on a regular schedule and have serious depression/PTSD issues.
I don't like my overwhelming compulsions.
I don't like my need to be alone all of the time even though I hate it when I have company.
I don't like my germaphobia.
I don't like my need for constant tidying.
I don't like my need for movement or constantly having something to work on.
I don't like that I cannot express my emotions or feelings without having panic.
I don't like that all I wanna do is the exact opposite of what you want me to because, well, f**k you... I'll step in that puddle if I choose to, thanks!
I do like that I'm not you're average middle aged woman who's all about makeup and purses and being a stuck up gossipy b***h. And I do like that I'm definitely unique. But there are lots more things that I'm unhappy about and it's just so hard to deal with the average person who can't or won't try to understand my issues. I'm tired. I'm cranky. And I hate most humans. Just throw me in room with kitties, let me lock the door and don't you dare come over unannounced. Please.
Thank you for getting to know me and letting me vent.
05 Feb 2019, 2:11 pm
