Hello from sunny Sweden

Post Reply New Topic

Hi!

Just joined. I'm a 36 year old man living in Stockholm, Sweden, who received an "autism (level 1)" (i.e. Asperger) diagnose about 1.5 years ago, and am in the process of developing an updated understanding of myself based on that.

I also at the same time received a secondary diagnosis of ADHD (primarily inattentive), which was what had prompted the investigation to begin with. I had known I likely had ADHD since my early twenties, but had somehow missed the autism part completely despite having had many friends on the spectrum during my entire life, and spending upwards of ten years in therapy (cognitive primarily). I guess introspection is a close neighbour of self deception.

Anyway, I am married since around ten years, and nowadays also a father of two daughters (oldest one a bit over 2.5 years at the time of writing). Parenthood was ultimately what pushed me to start the process of getting diagnosed, as I — like many others before me, I suppose — discovered that my coping strategies were no longer sufficient when faced with this new reality.

I am a programmer by vocation, having had a healthy interest in computers since I was six or seven, starting programming properly by nine, and am now self–taught to a level where I am very comfortable working alongside senior engineers in the field, as well as being one myself by title. Apart from computers and programming I am rather eclectic in my interests, which include but are by no means limited to history, music, electronics, woodworking, political science, mathematics, linguistics and medicine. I have managed to procure a room in our apartment for myself, into which I've crammed a (retro) computer lab, an electronics lab, a small woodworking workshop and a music studio, along with enough shelving to hold most of the entailing equipment. It's a sight to be seen, I've been told.

Anyway, as I wrote earlier I am still processing my autism diagnosis, the personal impact of which has been gradually increasing over the first year, and as I struggle to find myself in this new reality I thought that maybe I can learn something from others with more experience living in it.

And finally, sorry for the lengthy introduction post; brevity has never been my strongest area.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

That's exactly like in my case!
Toddler time is the worst, really. Since my younger daughter's 4th birthsday, it's getting better but I'm still not coping well enough. It's good you have your sanctum. You need your hobbies to survive.

My best wishes to you and your family!

Hang on a minute. I thought Sweden was cloudy?

You are not your diagnosis, life is going to go on as before - it did for me (but it also wasn't much of a surprise really). Autism is common in the IT business, if not for a diagnosis, there are many people with traits of autism there.

Finns en del Svenskar här, men vi spikar ängelska här.

Welcome

I really like Sweden for the footballers and the music.

There are a lot of aspies in computing but you probably already know that.

Nice to meet an aspie with eclectic interests.

Welcome to WP!

Hi! Welcome to wrong planet. I have a grandson and DIL in Stockholm area. Should be getting a bit lighter there by now. ☀️

Thanks for all the welcomes!

It is! At least a lot of the time during this season. It was mostly intended as a humorous adaption of the classic postcard text.

Being this far up north you pretty much get a light half of the year and a dark half. At the moment we're transitioning from dark to sunny, but it's still some way to go. At its darkest we have maybe 5–6 hours of daylight per day, while in the middle of the summer it's pretty much dark just for a couple of hours during the night. In the north of Sweden they have the famous "midnight sun", where in the summer the sun never sets, but I've not experienced that myself.

In general I think the common preconception about weather and climate in Sweden holds rather true during the winter half of the year, whereas the summer is warmer and sunnier than most associate with this latitude. Given that I dislike snow and cold weather I wish proper summer was a bit longer than the two months we typically get, though...

That's what I thought, but it's gradually thrown me into some sort of identity crisis. I've always had a rather performance based self image, and suddenly I find myself having paused my usual ambitions while reevaluating my entire life based on new knowledge about myself. Suddenly understanding why some situations ended up the way they did, and gradually realizing how I've come across to others has been quite a shock for me.



Absolutely. My impression is that there particularly are quite a lot of undiagnosed cases of autism about. (Just like me, until recently.) If you're functioning well enough within your context, why pursue a diagnosis?



Uppfattat! I'm almost exclusively writing in English these days anyway, even when I'm making private notes. Force of habit.

My impression has also been that the baby/toddler years are the toughest. Glad to hear you're feeling that the situation is improving for you.


That's how I feel; like I would quite literally die if I didn't have a refuge. But at the same time I understand the strain this puts on my wife, and that our domestic situation at the moment is not as well balanced as it could be. This is something I am still working on.


Thank you, and likewise!

Välkommen!

Interesting! Any music in particular?

Regarding football it's one of the few sports I can muster much interest for, but usually only to a degree where I follow the major international championships, and I've pretty much given up on Sweden's national team though there have been moments of greatness (1994 and ~2003 spring to mind). Nowadays I tend to just enjoy the game, whenever I'm watching, regardless of what sides are playing.


Kinda noticed. I always thought it was a bit funny that I got along so well with the autists despite not being one myself...


Thanks, it feels nice to be welcomed! I've given this some thought, and I think I'm simply very enthusiastic about theoretical knowledge in general. Growing up I was always the type of kid who read encyclopedias for fun. That combined with a general interest in invention and creating things has landed me in a situation where I typically pick up a couple of new obsessive interests/hobbies per year. I never feel as alive as when I'm opening up new cognitive pathways.

That's how I feel; like I would quite literally die if I didn't have a refuge. But at the same time I understand the strain this puts on my wife, and that our domestic situation at the moment is not as well balanced as it could be. This is something I am still working on.[/quote]
I can imagine it. On the other hand, if you don't care for your mental health now, your wife is likely to end up with two children and a severily depressed husband. Not a good outlook, really.
Can you arrange some from-here-to-there timetables, so you and your wife can take turns and have your own time?
A lot depends on her and on communication between you two. She may actually know that you need your time out to keep yourself sane.

Welcome to WrongPlanet and all that it contains