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Hello, WrongPlanet. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Nice name, I often feel like that all the time, that I am on the wrong planet, a stranger in my own land, or that I do not belong. I am unsure if I am autistic per se, tests I've taken revealed both neurotypical and neurodivergent patterns in different areas. I consulted the issue with my therapist and psychiatrist and they were annoyingly not sure if I qualified for a diagnosis, but think that I'm probably on the spectrum leaning towards HFA. I wish I could get more clear answers.

Other issues are differential diagnosis. I have PTSD, depression, anxiety and recently discovered that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. The latter is most concerning to me, since it has been incredibly difficult to deal with for most of my life, without knowing the issue, just having the sense that something was deeply wrong. Trauma, such as bullying, verbal abuse, assault, car accidents, being forced to defend myself from violence and social isolation have contributed a lot. I have survived several suicide attempts.

So I thought I may be in good company here, and perhaps learn how to cope and make friends. I started seeking professional help a little over 2 years ago and it has helped a lot, but I'm still troubled. More for the safety of others than myself. BPD is hard to control and if I don't bad things happen. That scares me.

I try to be nice, I want to help others... my self esteem is badly in flux and often nonexistant. At this point I care about others more than myself. Feels bad I have to specify that...

Anyways, I'm a bit odd, I don't have much sense of myself, so much seems in flux. My personality tests even did almost a total 180 over the last few years (INTJ to ENFP..yeah). At least I can feel some happiness now, didn't use to.

I'm now happily engaged to someone wonderful (who is autistic, and I try to help as much as I can). Trying to work on my career. I have a cat, she's cute. She says "mew" to you all. Got out on my own 2 years ago, which got me out of a mentally unhealthy living situation.

I hope I can make some friends here, that'd be greeeeat.

Welcome to WP! Enjoy your sojourn here.

What's your cat's name?

Thanks for the welcome. Her name is Maya, she's a 1 year old tabby cat we rescued.

It's always nice to have a rescue animal. My dog who died from kidney failure at just under 13 years of age, was a Min Pin named Benji and I rescued him as a tiny puppy.

Sorry about your dog. My family adopted 2 greyhounds when I was younger, both rescues from tracks. I loved those dogs, so gentle.

So glad I got to take a few videos of Benji while he was still with us.

Greyhounds are nice. They always look a bit malnourished, as do whippets! A lady here in my city has a whole tribe of whippets!

I'm glad you have mementos of him. I keep mine close to my heart. The greyhounds have little body fat in general, but when we rescued ours I could tell they were malnourished and poorly treated by the tracks. I'm a recovered anorexic.. so I guess I found it..relatable?

I guess so! I 'm very glad to hear you overcame your anorexia.

I think too many people in the world are obsessed with perfect beauty and Barbie figures and it really shouldn't be about looks and shapes. People can be strange... that's why I relate to certain people only, and to animals of course, as they never criticize us or love us any less when we make mistakes.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I've had severe body image and self image issues for a lot of my life. I'm trying to be better. Relating to people... I only relate to certain people as well... a lot of people have experiences very different from my own, all I can really think of to them is "well that must be nice for you I guess", which isn't really a great way to think. Empathy I find easy, but relating not always. One example is when someone mentions prom. I never went to one, I was in an alternative school my last two years of high school. But oh well, it's all in the past now. *shrug*

AnonymousAnonymous, thank you!

I would suggest that you see an adult ASD specialist or a clinic that specialized in neuropsychological testing.

I see you live in New Jersey (assuming that's what "NJ" stands for). I'm busy right now, but a little later I'll post info here about some relevant specialists and support groups here in NYC, plus some organizations in NJ that you can contact if you would prefer something closer to home.

Welcome to wrong planet, Oh and welcome to Maya too. I saw a book once that was called "all cats have aspergers". So if that's true then Maya belongs here too.

Welcome to WrongPlanet, you have done well to come through all your challenges and you should be proud of yourself I think.

My missus and I love cats, currently we have two ginger toms called Milo and Marmalade. They were the last two of a litter, we went and bought Milo and then after getting home with him we started to feel bad about leaving his brother on his own so went back to buy him. That was 9 years ago and I'm glad we got them both, they still like to play together after all this time.

We also have a little West Highland Terrier called Bella that we bought due to the urging of our son, who is 17 years old and Aspergers and has always been obsessed with dogs to the extent that we have all had to sit through all of those Buddies movies over and over. Dog and cats seem to get on pretty well all things considered.

How lovely! Yes, they can get used to each other and even become good friends in some cases.

Love the cats' names!

Are West Highland terriers similar to Yorkies?

Similar size and nature I think. To be honest although we love our little Bella we wish we had just got a mutt instead, she is costing us a fortune in vets' bills! Westies seem to suffer from so many genetic conditions.

Yeah mutts are generally tougher