Hi - New, Unsure but Hopeful

Post Reply New Topic

Hello,

I just found this site a couple days ago so new here but not new to Aspergers, having been diagnosed and self-managing my own care for about fifteen years now.

I am soon to turn 45 and mostly independent other than not yet making enough income to afford an apartment of my own. I have been in relationships that started out well but then became unhealthy over time with little recourse on my end due to not having the financial resources to easily move out. But now I have moved out and am staying with family who are being supportive while I rebuild life on my own terms.

I am excited for the future but still easily stressed out about the present. Partially about money as even normal people struggle with making ends meet on a single income, so it's all that much harder to not worry about my prospects with a disability to factor in, but I am doing what I can to keep developing in that regard.

But the biggest stressor is communication difficulties with people outside my family, trying to make friends and get to know the community. I'm willing to put myself out there to meet people and allow opportunities for things to happen, but it's been pretty consistent at not going well so I think it might be better to try to build some friendships online first where my weaknesses aren't such a disadvantage, and then maybe how things go with the outside world won't seem as intensely stressful when it's not the only venue to interact in.

Welcome. This is a good place to find support from people who are also autistic.

That's good that you have a supportive family and that you're not in a toxic relationship.

Hi and welcome, Brisienna ! Glad you're now with supportive family, rather than those who may take advantage and do you more harm than good. WP's a great place to find supportive "online" friends. Good to have you with us.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to Wrong Planet. I am glad you are here!

Hello.

Welcome to Wrong Planet

Thank you all for the warm welcome

While it may take some time to gain enough familiarity to start posting much about myself, it has been very therapeutic being able to read the thoughts and experiences of so many others going through the same adventure.

Up until now, I've mostly identified just with the collective of people with disabilities in general while dealing with common challenges such as housing, employment, and relationship issues, but haven't had much opportunity to talk with others about autism-specific issues or the accompanying strengths that are more of an asset rather than a disability.

I am very lucky and grateful for having a supportive family. We had some strained relationships early on that took some time to heal because they didn't understand why I was different and I didn't understand what normal was to have any basis to explain why my rationale differed from theirs, but once they learned there was a real thing I was dealing with and could see how things made since in the context of what I was experiencing, things turned around immediately because it wasn't really me they were upset with, just frustration in not understanding how my world differed from theirs.

I was also pretty lucky in having discovered computer programming and video games as early as grade school - which was a pretty remarkable twist of fate being that I grew up on a small farm years before internet would become a thing, in an area which still remains pretty technophobic to this day - which served as comforter, comptency-builder, and alternative education source, and has since grown into my primary occupation of developing gaming, education, and special needs technology and business systems, which I've actually been accomplishing a lot with, just not yet in ways that impress landlords vs having a "real job."

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hello, and welcome.

I hope you enjoy it here. I can definitely relate to communication difficulties with people. It's a skill I'd like to develop but in my experience, it does make a huge difference to talk/ get to know other aspies- it seems much easier and less stressful to understand those on the same 'wavelength' as they say.

Welcome. You sound like you have your priorities in order, and it is true- online interaction genuinely does help with real life conversation, for ASD at least (idk if it makes NTs regress in social interaction/understanding, in reality?).

Hello from Peta