26 Jan 2020, 9:55 am
Hello, everyone,
I don't really know where to start. I've been an anonymous reader of this forum for a few months, and today I decided to write, maybe looking for feedback, help or guidance. I'm Spanish guy living in the USA since 3 years ago, so sorry if I can make any mistake writing.
I am 36 years old, married and have two small children (3 and 1 year old). I believe that like all of us here, we have felt as if we were from another planet since we were children, so it does not make much sense to walk on this subject.
Recently, my mother was diagnosed with cancer, I did a lot of research on it, with the data I had, and I came to the conclusion that she didn't have much time left to live. This took me to a state that I had never felt before, anxious, very explosive with the people around me, to which my wife recommended me to go to a psychologist (I have gone to others in the past). This psychologist, diagnosed me with depression and anxiety (obvious!) and recommended me to have pharmacological help, which redirected me to a psychiatrist (setraline and trazadone JFYI). The psychiatrist, in the second session, told me that if I had ever considered that it might be asperger. It all made sense.
After 2 months of going around this idea, my mother passed away, trip to Spain, etc. And for the first time in my life, I didn't feel bad about myself because of how I felt about other people.
When I returned to the USA, my work was uphill, I lost the desire for everything, I just let myself go through life, I forgot about the asperger for a few months... but one day I decided to call to make the evaluation, I made several appointments, I went, I did a lot of tests, the doctor was nice. In a little less than 3 weeks I will have the results, but from the first feedback received, it is obvious that it will be positive.
These two, three weeks, I feel really bad. Physically, stomach aches, I'm really anxius, I'm clenching my jaws... And mentally, I'm having depressive symptoms again. Today I had a session with the psychiatrist (which is asperger's), and I couldn't stop crying, something is screaming inside me, and the mask I have on the outside and to the others, is too heavy, I feel that I have no strength.
Sorry for all my story, I guess it's a long text to read. Looking forward for some comments or feedback 
Thank you!
(I just realize that I posted this in the wrong section... so I deleted the other one an reposted here, sorry! 
)
26 Jan 2020, 12:43 pm
AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 71,890
Location: Portland, Oregon
26 Jan 2020, 6:29 pm
Welcome to Wrong Planet!
26 Jan 2020, 7:01 pm
Hi and a very warm welcome to you . You're dealing with ALOT! Only natural you're breaking down etc. Just give yourself time... We often need time to process all that we are going through, and sometimes aren't as aware of what stress is doing to our bodies, until, it starts to shudder and protest. Eventually, you will smile again. Give yourself time, and additionally, you are new to these meds. They too, will come with their side-effects, and I found that mine made me highly emotional when I first went on them. Once the body adjusts, if these meds are the right ones for you, then all will level out. Good to have you with us.
27 Jan 2020, 7:19 am
27 Jan 2020, 8:32 am
02 Feb 2020, 9:30 pm
05 Feb 2020, 8:28 am
