I'm new at this

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Hi all. I apologize in advance if my english is not understandable because it's not my native language.
Well, I am sixteen years old and recently I've been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome (which has been basically suspected since I was ten years old) with mild Tourette's syndrome being adjacent as comorbidity. However, symptoms of depression, general anxiety and severe social phobia have been suspected in the same way.

I have a strong sense of hopelessness practically triggered by my almost zero intelligence, my lack of intellectual and social skills, and a solid uncertainty about the future. I'm aware that being autistic doesn't automatically make you a misunderstood genius per se, nor does it make you a person with an intellectual disability if you have an Asperger's diagnosis. But ... in my case, I don't have any talent. I feel like a complete farce. I suck at math (my grades in this subject as in the others are mediocre); I am not interested in science; I do not consider myself to have great writing or oral skills; I suck at sports; and I don't know how to draw. And I hate myself more for believing in these myths and stereotypes that hurt so much, and also for wasting the only talent I had, which was painting.

I know it's never too late to learn something new and develop a hobby. Right now I'm dealing with many things in my head that have me completely confused. But possibly next year I will resume painting. It's never too late ... I hope so. Still, I feel significantly inferior to other peers with this same diagnosis. I perceive so many people so bright, so talented, and then there's me: a person, who within the stigmatizing parameters of traditional intelligence (which I do not trust, since I am supporter at the theory of multiple intelligences), who has a pretty average intelligence and of any type too. A person who is tired of carrying out the heavy burden of daily existence after a long history of bullying in the past.

Yeah... I don't know what to do with my life.

I'm currently on vacation 'cause the school calendar in my country is different in most schools differing from the "globally" established. So the only thing I do is to be in my room listening to music, consuming a lot of anime and collecting endless information related to the 80's since this is my main special interest.

No, I'm not discovering the darkest and most profane secrets of the multiverse, nor devising a new and complex mathematical formulam, neither creating a new musical score nor creating a more magnificent painting than those of Picasso or other artist of the same calibre. Of course I'm exaggerating. I'm pretty average actually, and I think it hurts me.

I know it's ridiculous, because being autistic doesn't make you better or worse. But that doesn't take away the fact that I still feel like a farce.

And well, this hasn't been the big deal certainly.

I would like to know your opinion or if you have any advice to offer me about it, it would be helpful.

Anyway, I hope I haven't bothered your most valuable time.

And again, I apologize because of my not understandable english.

Have a good day/night.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

You are 16 and your primary language is not English, yet you communicate very well in English. So when you say that you have "almost zero intelligence", I don't believe you. You are a good communicator. Can you speak and understand English as well as you can write? If so then I would recommend watching an early television program called "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis". The episodes began in 1959 and ran until 1963. It was the time of the Beatniks. They were a generation before the Hippies. And the series was full of Aspies (those with Asperger's Syndrome or High Functioning Autistics) in my humble opinion. Aspies in my opinion tend to excel in one of three areas. You have those who excel in math and science. Today they refer these as STEM for science, technology, engineering, and mathematics. Then you have those that become writers, script writers. And then you have those that are artist and musicians. So perhaps you might track down these video episodes and enjoy them. It is three decades before the '80s, but who knows, you might be a Beatnik at heart!

Welcome to Wrong Planet. I am glad you are here.

I'm sorry you are feeling overwhelmed and unhappy.

There are many stereotypes of autism/Aspergers and very few of us fit into those stereotypes. If you hang around long enough you'll see we are all very different.

Your English is very good. As someone who works with people with low IQs, you certainly don't present as low IQ. But I understand that feelings aren't always reflective of reality.

A couple things that you said reminds me of something I wrote in a thread the other day. You said you were:

Welcome. I was just reading a bit this week about the types of intelligence. Which ones do you relate to?

I was also looking at two artists last week who painted later in life and are role models for me: Grandma Moses and Katsushika Hokusai.

Yes, it can be daunting to find one's way in the world. I think in general ASD folks take longer to "adult". Do you have good support?

I have been held on a high pedestal b/c of my abilities in some areas and am relieved (and saddened, all those years of confusion) to be diagnosed (at age 47) as Learning Disabled. I'm not sure yet how that will impact what I do when I grow up. (ha, ha, nearing 50 and still growing!! !!) It took be a few decades, but I am finally excited (and scared) about my future. I am just now looking into EMDR to help me with a lifetime of accumulated "angst" (PTSD like).

Hang in there.

Bienvenidos al Planeta Equivocado!

...I missed that (location). or Bem-vindo! (or even Welkom! or Bienvenue! from what Wiki says for that region). My NT husband is from near a Haykuykuy! region.

^^^ I thought I was not particularly smart for most of my life. I always felt like what academic successes I had were empty.

Much later I learned I am very smart, not genius, but right up there. In my case I believe most of my intelligence was spent on figuring out the NT world which is a constant drain on the mind.

Hi and a very warm welcome to you ! I see your biggest problem as self-esteem, and I think that as you renew your investment time-wise in painting, that this will help your outlook, a good deal. It's through our passions, our interests, that we derive the most satisfaction, I feel. It nourishes the soul. You've suffered with the bullying, like many on the spectrum. But, I hope you grow in such a way that the negative experiences might contribute to a stronger character ultimately. Hope you enjoy your break, enjoy the 80s, especially that you might enjoy some painting, and can be productive, have something to show for your break. Something that gives you a sense of satisfaction and growth. I'd be taking the focus off of your intelligence, and instead, focussing on just being you. I'd cease measuring worth by intelligence, but rather by the heart, whether or not you care and would like to make a difference in this life. Lovely to have you with us...