It's Been Awhile

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Hello,

I first logged in here many years ago. The site has changed a lot, for the better, it seems. I was living independently, working, and then lost a job that meant a lot to me. I wound up in a mental hospital for a week and had to move back in with my parents.

I lost all of my friends. I'm 45 years old and I've lost 23 jobs in my lifetime. I'm finally going to get disability but I have a job now and if I can keep it, then I won't have to sit home and stay on disability for the rest of my life. I went to college and graduate school and I've fought my entire adult life to make something of myself.

I've been on antidepressants for over 20 years. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because I'm scared of losing my job, or something happens that upsets me. I've been bullied my whole life.

It feels like people with ASD are always the casualties of other people's lack of consideration and good character. I know I went to school, obeyed my parents, and had aspirations. But fulfillment and equality, especially now, seems like it'll never come.

Can anyone relate?

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Aspies are bullied much more than their typical peers. Perhaps as much as 95% of male Aspies experience bullying in school. This does entails physical assaults.

So yes, I can relate to that.

One of my observations in life is that things equalize out over time. Maybe you have a bit of hard luck, but then something comes out of thin air, some strange opportunity, you grasp it and hold onto it. And it seems to make up for the loss.

Hello Desert Woman. I was unsuccessful at keeping a job for more than 18 to 24 months. I sort of fell into the work I am doing now about 20 years ago, so not until I was about 46.

Welcome. I hope you find help here.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.
It is great you are here.

I found that though I had "Hidden" issuse that I thought were normal and I had automatically developed my own coping stratergies so no one really knew I was that much different... Though I have had many feelings of fear of discovery... I mean.. The fear of being discovered that I was different. (When in school I was dead quiet so I did not bring attention to myself if that makes sense?)

Joining this site opened my life up a lot to what was going on in my life, but something happened when I hit my late 30's to early 40's onwards is that I hit burnout, and have hit several burnouts since. I did not know they were burnouts at the time and I did not know what the shutdowns and partial shutdowns were called.

The annoying thing about it has been that everything is internal. Nothing much external other then me being on a floor unable to move if I have had a full shutdown. No outward signs if that makes sense? So people who know me don't realize what I have been going through, though it is only looking back that I now realize what I thought was normal (E.g. anxiety in the mornings where I found I could not walk to secondary school and had to take the bus when all the other kids from the village were walking. I was fine walking home).

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hi!

I was lucky in having full-time work for almost all my working life,
But I too have been bullied for much of it.

I hope you can find the support you need, here.
I gained a lot from this website.

I can relate to the mental health issues. Been on meds since I was 12 and spent time in psych hospital. I work, but I can't work full time, but even part time work is hard and I'm exhausted from the effort of trying to do it. I've had periods where I worked little, but I always got bored.