New Member at 65 All my quirks and the rest of the names.

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Hi,

I am new to all of this. My niece is a school teacher 6 grade. She has known me all my life. I went to a psychiatrist in my 20's and had terrible panic attacks. All these years over 35 treated for depression, anxiety, and insomnia. All classic signs of Asperger's. I still call it Asperger's because I do not like the large brush "functioning" because it make me feel like I am doing just dandy. But through the years I have been called, quirky, hard to follow, know it all, arrogant, just about everything. The thing that really hurt me was growing up in the 60's not having a clue about Algebra, coming home with D's, and my Dad who was your typical 60-70's Father, saying I was stupid, dumb, he could not understand why "his kids did not get math' Well, I have 2 Sisters and 3 older brothers and ALL show signs of Asperger's. I believe either my Mom or my Dad had signs as well. It is really sad when your biggest bully is your Father. I almost gave up. I was determined to "prove him wrong" Well with the perseverance, dedication, and just plain knocking myself out I graduated from a 4 year College in 3 years. Then when I showed him the Diploma, he was not interested. Told me to "Show it to my employer" he said he already went to school. The most difficult part about being an older adult on the spectrum is now I have a cause for my behavior, but was treated for something maladaptive, with a VERY large Stigma attached. My family does not believe they have a mental illness, ONLY ME, denial right there. If I told them I have Asperger's and they might too, they would say they are functioning well. They all self medicate with Alcohol, even have a phony name for their own "quirks", anxiety, and same symptoms as me but they are NOT Mentally Ill and would never admit it. If I told them, that the phony illness they say they have is really Asperger's they would deny that as well. Should I tell them?

Welcome to WP!

And I hope you find this "family" to be welcoming!

(And if you bump into someone who is too quirky, remember they might be on the Autism Spectrum. If they get too bothersome, just move to a different thread!)

Sure, you should tell them. They might come to believe it.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

welcome, you are definitely not alone. Having my diagnosis at age 68 helped me see things in my past that had caused so much pain in a new way. Perspective of knowing how my autism (and that of my family!) worked behind the scenes and nobody knew! What a relief to discover it was not because I was a bad person, lazy, thoughtless, cruel, weak willed, etc etc that I was labeled by other family members, but because of my neurology. I imagine you are going through the same sorting process and seeing things differently in many cases. I think my diagnosis has been wonderful even at this old age ( I will be 70 this year) At my age there has been a lot to sort, but as I go through and look at all the pain from the past I can finally put it in context and lay those old tortures to rest. I am now able to make my own accommodations that help me live with far less stress and distress, and I am gradually finding peace. Ihope the same for you!