Greetings from the high desert!

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Howdy all,

I suspect I’m arriving to the “party” here rather late, but I was distracted along the way.

I was first given reason to suspect that I was on the spectrum about 15 years ago, but dismissed it as “just a label”, and that I was also more likely “spectrum adjacent”, rather than having a locus smack dab within it.

I credit my very recent relook into the issue with the Ketamine therapy that I have started to treat my bipolar depression. Ketamine seems to offer a very dramatic “reboot” of the brain. The subsequent investigation has led into any and all things “me”, including, and increasingly primarily into my rapidly-growing “certainty” of being not spectrum-adjacent, but rather being so deeply within it that I was unable to see the forest for the trees.

The heretofore unnoticed variety of YouTube videos made by ASD people and those that study them has been fairly close to mind blowing, and makes me wonder how I missed SO many of the (now) obvious signs. The short version of my look into this issue would certainly be “well, darn! THAT explains a lot!”.

So, at this point, I’m self-diagnosed, but may seek an official diagnosis soon, depending on the barriers I encounter to making that happen. I’ve certainly been told by people that know me that I “definitely am” or “probably am” on the spectrum, but a more educated opinion would be useful.

I am presently age 52, so catching it early would have been very unlikely, given the state of knowledge at the time. But given the large number of video testimonials from those diagnosed as adults, there is SO much that rings true, and has given me many starting points for further introspection and external investigation.

A few of the (now) glaringly obvious hints from my life as to what was REALLY going on:

--Diagnosed as “school phobic” at age 9 or 10, due to the fact that I started bolting from the classroom and walking the many miles home. I started going to school again after the family moved to another state, but I ended up dropping out at age 16.

--Having VERY few friends at any point in my life, but hanging onto the few that I did manage to acquire.

--Never even making the slightest attempt at dating until age 30. Very mixed results since then, though currently in an often-rocky 12-year-old relationship.

--A VERY extensive family history of mental health problems, including multiple suicides and attempted suicides on both sides.

--Quite probable (but never officially diagnosed) Marfan’s Syndrome (also runs in my extended family).

--A very delayed ability to cope to some degree with pretty much any level of social interaction. And I now attribute what little I have achieved in this regard almost exclusively to unknowing masking. I had not recognized and properly attributed the accumulating stresses and eventual energy depletion and even full meltdowns that accrue with such unknowing and stressful “acting”.

--A self-perception of being very different from others, in attitudes, habits and preferences, especially in such matters as religion, politics, displays of status/success and desire for “having a family”.

--Having (apparently) very little self-image, in the physical sense, despite having been offered strong opinions on this by others. It was not until my second relationship that the external prompting caused me to align my self-perception along the lines that others had suggested.

--Unusual and deep (but “rotating”) interests, mostly in various technical fields. I am fully capable of boring anyone to tears that doesn’t share my interest du jour (which would be virtually everyone).

--Some sensory weirdness that I am only just now really coming to terms with, and I suspect this aspect will be the most difficult part of ASD to really figure out and find remediations for.

I chose this forum because it seems rather more familiar than newer platforms that have an ASD discussion presence mixed in with any and all other topics. Early on in my Internet exploration, I was involved in various non-ASD web forums, and before that, Usenet, and even before that Fidonet (anyone here old enough to remember Fidonet?).

Darron

Last edited by GadgetGuru on 09 Oct 2021, 2:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to WP! I hope you find your visits here to be good ones.

I was diagnosed at age 64. And, as you suggest, it was wonderful to know!

I hope you have discovered:
----Autism-Spectrum Quotient Test
----Aspie Quiz ^{Registering is optional! Also see: "Interpreting your Aspie Quiz scores".}

Thanks!


I've taken such tests a few times, and always score in the "Yes, you are" range, but I also always doubt that I was able to be properly objective when deciding on how to answer. I find seeing parallels to my own actual experiences in the accounts of real-life experiences of others to be more useful, but also imprecise, to be sure.

Darron

I think I've heard that Aspies tend to question the questions on tests.

Welcome.

Welcome to WP.

An interesting introductory post - I enjoyed reading it.

I think that self identification is just as valid as a traditional 'diagnosis'.

Welcome aboard.

you're not even late to the party.

Like DR I wasnt officially diagnosed until my Sixties. Maybe half of the members of WP were not diagnosed with autism until sometime after childhood. And many are not officially diagnosed at all.

Welcome to Wrong Planet. I’m glad you are here.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

welcome! what a relief to finally understand all those painful interactions and experiences of the past and to see how autism played a part without anybody knowing. Self diagnosis is well accepted in many autism groups because we know how difficult it is to obtain diagnosis as older adults and how expensive, how hard to find good experienced diagnosing professionals, etc. Glad you are with us.