undiagnosed

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Hi,
I think i'm on the spectrum, as i've always felt different to other people all my life.
I met with a dr about this,but he said i don't, as i made eye contact with him, i forced myself to do this, and always feel uncomfortable.
I stay away from people now, as i always seem to say whats on my mind, i don't seem to have a filter system.
The thought of being in a room with a lot of people frightens the daylights out of me!
I change conversion about something completely different to everyone else....they always look confused at me!
I can't seem to make "normal" friends, so i stay away from people.
I'm Gay, and can't find any gay autistic sites.
I feel very alone

Many gay people on here. This site has more non binary people then binary. I am straight myself, so I can feel a little out of place, though everyone is welcomed.

Ask your doctor now to be put on a list to be assessed. Do it now rather then later because it can be a good few years wait so the sooner you are on the list the better. It is worth getting assessed as not knowing and suffering when one has the added questions on top of it is worse then finding out either way!
The good thing is that assessments do not just show if one is or not on the spectrum, but if one is not, they can point the way to what the issues can be if it is something else, and here in Wales due to the massive funding the Welsh Assembly has recently put in, the services are more connected then before so one is not left with no where to turn to.

welcome! this is a great place to explore and ask questions, you are not alone here.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

There is an LGBTQ+ forum here on Wrong Planet for you to interact with others who identify as LGBTQ+.

Welcome to WP! And listen to Mountain Goat...he knows what he's talking about.

It probably has more NBs than average, but I'd be very surprised if there's actually more NBs than folks who identify as either male or female. We're just more visible now that there's actually an option to identify as NB.

I'm pretty sure most days if I'm out in public most people wouldn't assume I'm NB.

Thank you for your help.
Is Right to choose available here in wales?
My dr sent me to the hospital, and i was there maybe 5 mins with the consultant, who said as i made eye contact, i'm not on the spectrum.
I really don't want to see him again, and looked at doing this privately, but over £800!

There is something wrong there because it takes a good 6 to 8 hours or even more to be assessed. They usually assess over a period of a few days, and while a lack of eye contact is fairly common amongst the autistic community, it is certainly not a defining feature as some who are on the spectrum can and do make eye contact with no problem, though most do not.

Is it possible to ask for a second oppinion from another person?

welcome.
The first Dr who assessed me got it wrong,too! He said I could not be autistic because I was married and had children and had worked at jobs "autistic people do none of those things".

Of course he was wrong.

I kept trying until I found somebody who actually had diagnosed old women before and who had lots of experience working with autistic elders.
Don't be discouraged, it is incredibly difficult to get diagnosis in most places today because diagnosing doctors are simply not up to date on the latest information about autism but are only using information from when they went to school, sometimes many many years ago. Many here understand.
glad you are with us.

What kind of consultant were they? Fashion? They certainly weren't an Autism consultant...their expertise may have been from watching a movie (maybe Rain Man?).

As has been noted, there are structured procedures for assessing Autism. It takes hours. And should be performed by someone who has relevant expertise.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

Hi and welcome, Sapho . I hope you don't give up. The attitude of the Doc who had no idea ... he needs an Autism 101 course. If it's what you need, don't give up. Knowing Wales though, unless things have seriously altered, you're in for a very long wait on a diagnosis. Feel for you. Good to have you with us. X

thank you all for your kind and encouraging words

Hi,
I'm in a legal battle at the moment, with my sons school.
He has been there just over a year, and i have just found out he has been restrained 35 times!
He has changed a lot since being at this school.
He has never been restrained before in his life...never had to.
I could always calm him down with words.
Before lockdown, when he was in school, he started to hit himself in his face, calling himself stupid...i questioned the school about this...it was all lies from them...he's fine in school etc...they never phoned me up about all these restraints.
After being home with me for nearly a year,he stopped slapping etc.
After being at school for a week, he started doing this again.
I knew then it was the school doing this to him.
I told him, he's never going back there.
I asked for his files,this is how i found out the amount of times he's been restrained....it's really cracked me up.
One of them says (when he was he had 3 teachers holding him on the floor.
I have to have a solicitor to change schools, as they wont...keep telling me needs are met!
I have another solicitor, whos going after the school, for inhumane acts,discrimination and wrongful imprisonment.
He has told me that he 's in seclusion (he calls the punishment room) every day, till the end of school, and another time when he was carried in there, they held the door shut,and was crying all day...said no one came.
I'm struggling to keep strong for him atm, i'm a single mum, and he only has me.
I know i'm autistic, but been scared to take this further,as i don't want social coming to my house and judging me if i'm a good parent...can cope.

I can but wish you luck and a good outcome. But it does sound horrid.

Alone isn't necessarily bad so long as you aren't *lonely*
Thats why I'm here. People either terrify or upset me greatly. They make and break all these abstract asinine rules while completely disregarding obvious logic in favor of niceties that aren't even nice.
I find "normal" people to be the most cruel, intolerant, impatient, heartless people I've ever had the displeasure of meeting and I could only see it once I was alone. The normal people convinced me *I* was the cruel one. I believe it still.
I force eye contact as well, though my doctor ( before I convinced her to look deeper) said I couldn't be because I communicate too well. I rehearse every possible conversation as far in advance as possible.

Chill, you're among friends now. You good baby its all love. Welcome!