been to counseling?

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I am 29 and 've been to counselling for about three years. AS was not diagnosed then (is now) and the therapy was because for (or against?) "social anxiety".

The biggest and most important thing I learned was that " to avoid" people and situations is a miserable way to handle things and gets you nowhere. That helped a lot, although it did not solve all or even the root problems. Yes, there are activities and situations I am still no friend with but that is okay.

And there is one more thing: When looking into people's faces, try to smile, especially when your opposite notices you are looking. Well, I had to train smiling in front of a mirror but my life changed a lot by keeping that in mind! It might not always be most appropriate but is a lot better than looking at the floor or a corner of the room.

I am being treated for social anxiety and for clinical depression. It has helped some things, but not eliminated them. I am not sure what my psychiatrist would say about AS. I had also gone to counseling with a couple. they may not have known anyting about AS at the time. They were the ones that gave me the abuse test, with the best intentions. I cant expect a christian counseling ministry to know about AS, but they did recognise something wrong there. I still plan on having some kind of test set up just to have documentation.

Social problems are only problems if i let them be. I also have trained myself to look people in the eye and to smile a lot. I believe i have made a lot of progress in the social area. I will bring up the possibility of AS to my shrink on my next visit... well, more like probability. Its hard to talk to people, but not impossible. i have a lot of difficulty in trying to figure out when to end conversations, and when to engage people. I really have a hard time with reading eye expressions.

Once. Age eight. It last for one month and I honestly don't remember anything about it.

fragment of a poem I wrote about a similiar experience in counseling....

That "incest thing",that was their clue
to all the impish or impulsive things I used to do

I now have the "memories" strangers have planted
grown in shadows and doubt
in "self-help" books,talk show paranoia
and a strangers sympathetic look...

If I push to disprove
it's a "sign" of denial
further "proof" that my uncle was a pediphile

Did I really supress
his desire to undress
a little me
with tangeled hair and scabbie knees?


I believe this premiss of DXing all "troubled" females with repressed sexual abuse is ONE reason that there is an inbalance in the ratio of females/males with AS.It's born of the same cultural bias of a *male dominated reality that "once" believed that females were more prone to "hysteria" because they had a uterus(before they understood hormones and the effects of our culture on the female psychi).It's also lazy logic.They see "traits" that are similiar to people who have been sexually abused and latch on to this as proof of the "illness".

***Women who are sexually abused are sometime overly sexual and sometimes asexual(so are some AS females who find intercourse painful due to sensory issues or have sex because they know no other way to find human relationships and are neive and easy for males to manipulate by lieing to them)

****Women who were sexually abused have difficulty maintaining relationships and trusting(Females with AS...duh)

*****Women who are sexually abused can exhibit several addictive behaviors to repress their pain(So do AS females who have "obsessions" or use chemicals to allow them to be social or eating disorders to control a life they experience as "out of their control")

******Women who are sexually abused often engage in self abuse(So do AS persons who do so to "stim" or have self loathing issue from being bullied by peers and suffer general depression)

The above isnt all conclussive but if you retake the test.....consider aspie traits that might account for similiar behaviors and see if they fit better for you.

The destructive ellement to the claim that we are "sexual abusive survivors" who have surpressed their abuse is that it makes you question your entire reality,everyone you MAY have been abused by.In effect,you have been abused and begin perceiving yourself as abused...creating resentments,paranoia and fear.This may serve a function for those actually abused because it will help them resolve their emotions and stop acting on them unconciously.The opposite is true for those of
us who believe that we were not abused.We begin baseing our life/reality/and self perception on a lie and ignore the real "cause".How exactly are you supposed to deny something that they claim you are surpressing?I think it also discounts the actual pain you have felt in your life as not being "bad" enough to cause the "traits of abuse".Dont expect to get much relief for their treatment of symptoms of a disease you dont have.....that would be like expecting that giving some one who is not diabetic insulan will help cure their fatigue or thirst.Works great for diabetic but will kill someone who is not.

So,(what was the question again,lol),we may have been abused and thanks to the planting of doubt by the experts we may always question this....but if the treatment doesnt seem to be working,chances are it isnt the "dis-ease" you feel.

KREX, that answered a heck of a lot of questions i have. I knew that nothing like that happened to me. I am not the type to repress anything. I still know the intentions from my counselors have been good. thanks for the input and answers to you and to all who sent. I am really glad i am not alone here.

I think we all have the intelligence to diagnose ourselves. The DSM was written so an 11 year old could understand it.

Going to therapy just tells me that you don't believe in yourself, you're in that stage of self growth where you just can't help but feel abnormal, largely due to the external forces around you that make you feel that way. If you focus really hard, dedicate yourself, have self-discipline, and are responsible and most importantly WILLING, you can achieve anything. No one knows you better than YOU! So why let some stooge TRY to understand you from their limited perspective and failed attempts at grasping your inner mind.

There is no normal. There is no abnormal. There is an openess of being and there is psychiatry attempting to close off that openess and pin down any problematic beings who interfere with the processing and understanding of reality and the social world as well as the efficient flow and development of Society. Autistic people are one of the most potentially destructive forces in society (speaking intellectually, not physically) who can disrupt that flow with a snap of their fingers.

I study a lot of Philosophy. Most of the big figures (Nietzsche and Kierkegaard are great examples) were a huge threat to modern society and its development in there time. Had they existed today they would be branded Autistic and Schizophrenic. (they both lived in solitude for at least 1/4 of their lives) Why? To control him. Would people take him as seriously if he had those labels? Something to ponder.

I found that any self knowledge that comes from Psychiatry is only limiting. It just tells you what you cannot do and how impaired or incapable you are. Well, it does not place any faith in LEARNING how to BECOME capable at whatever weakness you hold or whatever "makes you autistic."

I want to emphasis that it puts no faith in the individual to LEARN on their own. Weight is always placed in someone elses hands, and not your own. You can acheive it on your own if your willing, and your own solution will work better because its yours.

i see. I have always been TOLD what was wrong with me, but you are right. Know thyself. I am reaching a part of my life where i am tired of being told what to do, how to feel and how to act. Its hard to break out of that, but i have to. I am tired of pleasing others and sacrificing my own desires. When someone does that most of their life, it really starts to build up and hurt. I am also tired of people telling me who i am and trying to take it on themselves to figure me out.

FInding this site has really helped a lot. I dont feel like anyone is really telling me what to do here, they just give me new ideas and let me make my own decisions. That is very refreshing to me. It is much appreciated.

Thats good to hear, it has come to the point for me that there is only one thing I can really believe in, and that is myself. Listening to other people will only make you an empty, confused drone, live for yourself (but don't be too selfish about it haha).


I hope one day you will reach this stage too as it is beautiful.