re - newby

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Posted a few times a few years ago. Wasn't really ready for any sort of social media.

I self-diagnosed as autistic at 69 yo. What a life it's been. Now, lots of resentment about not finding out until I'm old; lots of regret about my life, lived in ignorance of the social maelstrom most humans operate within. I found success in the workplace, unless you count the countless people I offended by simply living a rational existence.

I knew I had grown very dependent on my wife for certain activities that I just couldn't deal with or work up an interest in. When she passed after 40 years of marriage, I suffered a mental collapse I couldn't have dreamed possible. Feeling pretty stable now, except for the part about still being autistic. Having trouble with some aspects of living alone, but learning to cope with it. Except the part about being alone.

I have a few family members and a friend, all of which are a blessing. But I really miss being able to talk about my life with people who understand the challenge. Now that I've had a little experience with being consciously autistic, I'm interested to understand how much of my experience of life is common to autistics.

So, I'd like to welcome you all into my life, and hope that I will feel at home here.

Welcome back!

And I am very sorry to hear about your bride. If my bride passed away I would be destroyed and I suspect she'd have a similar fate if I passed away.

But at least you and her had time together.

Willkomen

WElcome, sorry I missed your incoming earlier! I relate so much to what you told us. I decided that I was autistic after a couple years of research when I was 65 and set out to find diagnoisi from a professional. That took several false tries and lots of frustration. Finally got diagnosis at age 68. The world as I knew it suddenly had changed and everything I thought I had understood from my past and my present no longer looks the same now I know about my autism, my mother's autism, and could understand things that were hidden, the way autism had worked behind the scenes without anybody even suspecting! It is a lot to process, there is so much emotional homework involved. I will be 71 in about 10 days and that coincides with my diagnosis anniversary. 3 years out of 71 as actually autistic and knowing about it. That us still in processing and probably will be until I die. Life has got so much better, things finally make sense after years and years of emotional pain and "whys". Diagnosis (self identifying /self diagnosis is accepted here too as valid since finding diagnosis for older adults is so extraordinarily difficult) can be life changing. Wishing you all the best as you sort it out. Don't forget to be kind to yourself and do self care along the way!