Hi! New here, dad of three. I just found out I'm autistic

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Hello everyone,

I'm new and I was recently diagnosed with autism without intellectual deficit (although my working memory is absolutely unreliable by any standard) and combined ADHD. I'm 44 and I managed to have a successful career until my last burnout; I couldn't take it anymore. My second daughter is also autistic (older daughter likely too) and it made me think about myself. Oh boy, this is such a life changer.

Thanks to the diagnostic I no longer feel like a complete stranger disassociated from the world around me. The worst? Well, everyone around me, doctors included, confused giftedness with Aspergers. I did an IQ test many years ago in the 1990s and my mind tells me that I did score very superior, but I do not remember. My last testing had low working/average perceptual indexes, and strangely very high verbal and high processing speed (I've read it is quite common for Aspergers). Age and drugs could be a factor, but who cares about IQs other than to help diagnose a condition. I find this internet fascination with high IQs or IQs in general to be quite disrespectful even if unintentional.

I started explaining my new reality in the Office but I quickly realized it was a mistake. I requested special working arrangements, and that shouldn't be a problem, but I am very worried about harmful stereotypes with colleagues and managers at work.

Anyways, thanks for reading.
Pol

welcome! Diagnosis comes as a relief, a surprise, a completely different way of seeing your past and present. Its a lot to sort! Take your time and do loads of self care as you go through it. Lots of insights and emotions to settle. You are definitely not alone! Glad you are with us.

Welcome to Wrong Planet. Aspies (Asperger's Syndrome) are just a little different than most people. We have a different way of thinking. Most people have +s and -s. But Aspies have ++s and --s. And some of us are off the charts with +++++s and -----s.

The key is to use your +s to overcome your -s.

Welcome to WP! I hope you like it here. (And maybe your daughters will swing by, too?)

As far as memory...

When I was reading about Autism before my diagnosis I got the impression that a good memory was standard equipment...and I have a terrible memory. I suspected I hadn't gotten the full package. After I was diagnosed I raised that issue with the psychologist. She grinned at me and said that typically an Autistic would have a good memory for things that interest them! OK. That describes me very well. In general, my memory is horrible...but I'm much better in my "special interests".

Now if I want to warn someone about my memory I explain "I have a terrible memory, except for things that interest me. And I don't get to choose what interests me."

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Willkommen