AS. The landscape of the heart

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Can anybody relate to me?
I have recently been diagnosed with AS. It was such a life-saver after a life-time of loneliness, misunderstanding, and deep frustration and depression.

However, I am starting to feel rather lonely even in my new 'aspie community' as although I am getting some deep connection and identification with other members, i have not met any aspies that like myself take refuge from the world through contemplative spirituality.

Although my diagnoses was unequivocal leaving no ambiguity whatsoever, I feel rather alienated in that I have such little real interest in technology, engineering, 'alien type stuff' & the internet (apart from finding & using this site which is a real Godsend) etc.

The world I have always moved in and the language I have always used is very much the language of the heart. This was my 'otherworldlyness' and stills remains so. This has become my 'fixed interest'. This clearly has been a factor in my vocation as a spiritual director & in accompanying others in the spiritual journey.

I would like to ask two questions

1 Does this resonate with other members?
2 Are there any books on the subject of AS from a heart or soul point of view?

Much peace to you all
cx

Welcome to WP!

Tim

a) yes it resonates

I don't have much interest or ability with science or machines.

There's plenty of religious aspies here, some ascetic, some churchgoing, some whatevah, there's also a large contingent of christian-bashing atheists, so i sort of gave up involvement in threads about faith, it just attracts the bully atheist crowd.

It's an unfortunate thing, that having FOUND one's kind, one also feels alone among them. Still, it's better than nuffin! If you're new to online AS groups, you'll find it's a somewhat disillusioning process. Jesus is my best AS friend.


b) i dunno, it's in the eye of the beholder, heart and soul is a vague expression, too open to interpretation. my guess would be most of the lives of the saints and some of the apocryphal books

welcome anyway, what's involved in the contemplative life?

Actually, I can raise my hand for the "Contemplative" side. I'm not an Xtian, but I am deeply spiritual. I'm busy at the moment devising my own brand of Magick using Sigils and found objects as a focus. I call myself a "Junkyard Mage", and so far, the system works better than I'd hoped. I've mostly given up bashing the mainstream, there are too many already to do that. I try to focus instead on an individual path of knowledge and understanding by doing, as is my nature. I have not yet heard of any other Aspie Wizards out there, but eventually maybe a few more will turn up. As for being lonley, it simply cannot be helped. Everyone is ultimatley alone, we just feel it more than NTs. It's our job to be solitary in the universe. That is the price we must pay to be who we are. I will assume nothing pretaining to the spiritual path you may be on, so I cannot offer any reading material at this time, for I have no wish to offend. May you find a better answer than mine.

Thank you Postperson & vastarien.
With re contemplation & what it is all about. I guess it is all about having faith in the mystery of life with God being at the centre. As opposed to needing to brake things down to atoms / science or dogma / institutions. For me it's about understanding who I am at my deepest level (my true-self) and then learning to engage in the world from that deep centre.

In essence, it's finding God in silence as opposed to anything else. in all religious traditions there is the mystical path. In my tradition it's called contemplation.

Practicing meditation helps me get out the way of Gods loving grace and helps me brake free of determined patterns of reaction that have woven their way into my very being.

much peace to you both and thank you for responding
cx

I am a scientist and also have a deep believe in God and am also and aspie, this all meshes well with me.

I think you’ll find comity for your beliefs here. Spirituality is one of most important and relied upon sources of strength for people who are “different”. However their beliefs are precious to them and they won’t speak of them often for fear of denigration by the unenlightened.

I don’t know of anything specifically written about AS/HFA from that point of view. There is one wonderful novel written by a clearly HFA authoress that uses a deaf man’s experiences as a parallel leitmotif for the HFA experience. It’s “The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter” by Carson McCullers.

Welcome to WrongPlanet

Hi Criss,

What you're writing does resonate with me. However, communicating in language works for me only when it's about very specific and relatively simple things. So I don't know of any of the books you would like to read, and I'm not much inclined to talk about my feelings or spiritual experiences. I do like to make pictures, and show these to others. As for strong interest in technology etc., that's a stereotype that certainly doesn't apply to all Aspies. I think this stereotype was born because those who have that strong interest tend to come together (i.e. become professional co-workers), making them more visible as a "group". I don't have any interest in technology/engineering/medicine etc. (manipulating reality) either, but I am deeply interested in science (understanding reality).

Hi criss, it resonates with me very strongly, but i'm not sure whether I have NLD or AS. I don't have much interest in things like engineering and math, and since I was about 12 I've had a big focus on religion and spirituality. Once I've got my bachelor's I'm considering entering an inter-denominational rabbinical school and either during that time or after entering a program Aleph has for training Jewish clergy in spiritual direction. I tend to like talking to other people about personal and spiritual development, and get very interested in a lot of different systems for that. In the past couple months I've read Sri Aurobindo, Reb Kalonymous Kalmish Shapira, Thich Nhat Hanh and now I'm looking into analytical psych, especially dream work and the teleogical nature of the psyche, which happened to occur alongside my sudden interest in lucid dreaming. And then there's a lot of side-reading on the web along the same subject, and I blog about my journey.

I'd say I'm also somewhat contemplative but I like ecstatic practice too. I'm very sensitive to it though. And as per your other definition of it being about G!d as opposed to dogma/institution, that fits me very well. I do have an interesting in learning about a lot of the dogma but then I'll end up taking my own path anyway. I once picked up a code which is sorta like cliff notes on Jewish law, just the rulings with very little in the way of explanation, and I read it cover-to-cover with great enthusiasm. Most people would use it as a reference text.

Hello and welcome Crisis.

I would like to invite all of the above to my house for dinner. What wonderful conversation we would have over the great Italian meal I would prepare for you. I too. think of my life as a spiritual journey and have been consumed since childhood with the concept of God. I have many spiritual heroes and leaders, Jesus Christ is my supreme hero, and his saints follow. I have had many mind-blowing experiences along the way and live to explore the meaning of life and the concept of heaven. I do not belong to any church or organization.

Post Person, who would of thought we had so much in common.