Opinions please – or maybe just a warm welcome!

Post Reply New Topic

I am an older Aspie (HFA) person. I’ve never had a formal diagnosis or evaluation as such. I live in a very small town, a medical/services desert. It would take travel and expense for me to pursue professional services (unless someone here can advise if online diagnosis exists). Even then I doubt I’d bother. Several years ago I heard Temple G. say that if one is older when they realize they are on spectrum that it is not necessary, and perhaps even to one’s advantage to not pursue professional diagnosis. That is, if I heard her right. Also in a personal conversation with her she said she and I were lucky to have been born into this when we were… in the late 1940s because there were very few assumptions back then.

That said here is a bit about me: My Dad was a prominent Pediatrician in our good-sized midwestern town. He was aware of the literature of the day, i.e., professional journals. When I was in my 20’s Mom said to me “your Dad and I were "afraid" you had Autism when you were a baby and toddler, until you finally started talking! Of course back then only the lower-functioning type was identified. I’ve always been a square peg in a round hole. Masking was how I got through school and social life. I was a bookworm, wallflower, the girl who never had a date (terrified of the idea of sex). Did ok in school, always scolded with “you can to better”. The torment of social anxiety kept holding me back. In late ‘teens I discovered alcohol, spent quite a few years self-medicating with it and other substances. I thought “here is the cure for who I am”. I could suddenly talk, make friends, etc. Drinking messed me up big time though. When in my mid-30’s I found 12-step recovery and have been devoted to that path ever since. All good things in life have come to me since.

I had always worked in libraries…the geekiest thing I could do. Loved that work, always back-room jobs, no public facing. Then I found my career niche in IT work, the most geekiest ever! I excelled and my employer provided me with weeks and weeks of wonderful training in Oracle, UNIX, MS and Novell systems admin, high-end security and much more. I gained a high salary and professional respect. Along the way I married, divorced, raised 3 kids, always the introverted geek-mom. I like to say my kids and I raised each other. They’ve taught me so much about being a human. Masking, masking, masking was how I got by. It was exhausting on every level.

Discovery of who I am: I read Oliver Sacks’ long piece on Temple G. in the New Yorker when it appeared. Eureka! In the late ‘90s or so I read an article in the NYTimes about a successful librarian who discovered he had the HFA diagnosis late in career and everything in life fell into place for him. Double Eureka! Of course, the cliched Raymond character in Rain Man had always galvanized me. So much identification there. Then one day at work I was reading Wired and I took the test for Autism in there. I scored well below the Aspie range, down into pure Autism.
So voila! This is me, happily retired, a Grandma, a hobbyist of many interests. Do I need anything more? I don’t think so, except I’m happy to have just found this forum.
Cheers, Leafy

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to WP! I hope you like visiting it.

As you apparently already know, no formal diagnosis is required to visit WP. And even if you knew with certainty that you were not on the Autism Spectrum, WP could be a good place for you to visit if you had a polite interest in Autism. So: Welcome!

Since you have made your way so far in life I would think whether you seek a formal assessment, or not, is largely a matter of personal preference. If someone needs special accommodations for Autism then they probably need a formal diagnosis. But it doesn't sound like you need special accommodations so getting a formal diagnosis would be your choice.

You will find a number of folk here who did get a formal diagnosis later in life. I was diagnosed at age 64. In general, these folk (including myself!) say it was wonderful to finally know!

Of course, my diagnosis was Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild)...quite "Mild". Without a formal diagnosis I would not have been sure, one way or the other. Other folk have stronger symptoms and, with or without a diagnosis, there is no doubt to resolve.

My personal opinion would be that if a formal diagnosis was not needed then it might be better to wait until later in life to get a diagnosis. By then you'd already've established yourself in life and your friends and family would already know you were "weird"...the diagnosis would seem to be just a little more weirdness to throw into the mix. For younger folk, however, if they don't need accommodations I suspect it might be better to not rush into a formal diagnosis. I'm concerned the diagnosis could define who they are and close some opportunities.

Disclaimer: I got my diagnosis very shortly before the COVID Pandemic began. I and my diagnosis have not gotten out much, I've been staying in my COVID bunker (home).

hi ther Leafy,, Happy New Years and a warm welcome to wrong Planet , huge congradulations for getting through life aswell as you have described . Most impressive. Did not get formal Diagnoses till late 40s actually but was suspect since little then at 18 when my mother was quite old she recommended , that i seek out a P doc. psyche doc. As she. had busy overly occupied taking care of a no verbal younger sister.
but I was having a hard time of making life work and pretty much had to be devoted to anything i did in order to try to mask my way through it . With limited success.Found large amounts of special interest things , often , due to necessity or circumstances .But have made it into my later 60s and still am going . bumps of
life have been quite daunting . but just wanted to offer a warm Greeting to you .,

a warm hello! depending on where you live, you could find professionals who are willing to do formal assessments virtually if you still feel like it would help you to know and if you decided to pursue that option.

Welcome. You are one of us.

welcome welcome welcome! I am the same generation and also discovered my autism very late in life. Knowing my diagnosis gave me a great new perspective on my history, behaviors and like, dislikes, abilities, and helped me forgive myself for all the "failure to perform" and the misunderstandings and hurts of the past. It has been about 6 years since my first suspicions of possible autism diagnosis to professional diagnosis 3 years ago and the "way things are" now I have had some time to process and understand it all (or most of it!) There is such a huge difference in almost everything in my life. Welcome, wishing you the healing and the joys of self discovery as you go forward!
Glad you are with us. ( PS I grew up in midwest USA too)