Hello, I am Readydaer. Most people don't notice that the name is a palindrome. I've lurked on WP for a few months every now and then. I'm a girl and use she/her pronouns and am queer (my tastes are too complex for a label I'm comfortable with I think) I'm not diagnosed yet, however both my psychologist and psychiatrist find it useful to get me screened and am on the waiting list. I suppose I am what the masses would call high-functioning, though I'm aware that's not really a thing.
My special interests include video games (specifically the Touhou Project and Xenoblade series, but generally everything gamey except first-person-shooters), music, writing, Transformers, theoretical science like speculative biology, string theory, multiverses, etc, and philosophy. I'm in the process of writing my own sci-fi metafiction book which is around 100k words right now and I'm aiming for 120k. I might post it here when I'm finished.
I'd always felt weird and nobody really liked me and I never understood why. Obviously some of that was probably due to being born in the wrong body, but still, I was (and am) what people call selfish and some concepts and things simply don't click for me. In fact, before I knew that autism was a spectrum and some handled certain things worse than others, I used to somewhat pity and internally laugh at those special needs kids. Quite the irony.
I tend to speak in a slightly old-fashioned way which sometimes elicits comments, but it's just the most effective word choice for me. the most recent example was calling an error 'flagrant.' I'm also painfully forgetful with daily things and often have to write things down, however I can still remember a lot of individual Beyblade names when that SI faded like a year ago -_-. This sometimes gets me into trouble in daily life, because how can I forget simple household chores and duties frequently but never forget to play videogames?!- which makes me sad. Additional miscellaneous info: I hold an immense dislike for abrahamic religions and an immense love of communism, I have meltdowns/mental breakdowns eventually if my electronics are taken away for a sufficiently long period or if I don't think it's fair.
Something that bothers me is that I generally only care about myself. If a situation or event does not concern me, be it the suffering of a particular group in another country or my sister being punished, I simply don't care, and I don't know why. Maybe paradoxically, I feel great sympathy when I pass the homeless on the streets. Sometimes I want to care, but I just don't, and don't know how to. I have pretty low empathy, unless it's a very specific situation, like Edward Scissorhands being the perfect allegory for how I've always felt.
Anyways, I'm lonely and have few close friends and would love to chat here.
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My god. jelly donuts are so scary.
20 Dec 2022, 12:51 pm
