Lacemaking, that is an unusual hobby. I had to look that one up.
Making Lace by Hand
It seems like a skill that began long before I was even born. And that is a long time ago, since I am now 74 years old.
And then you began talking about xe/xem. What does that even mean. No idea, had to look it up.
Xe / Xem / Xir is a set of gender neutral pronouns that some people and/or organisations have adopted.
O.K. it is a wierd way of linking yourself to others. I can understand it but it is really wierd. Let me explain it in my words using myself as a reference.
When I was young around age 3 or 4, I died. I was attacked by a large bull who weighed over 1,000 pounds and I weighed less than 20. It was like being attacked by a dinosaur. It must have damaged the left side of my brain. I experienced what is called a NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE. I actually saw my dead body resting on my bed in my home. I was not on the bed but standing next to it. I SAW MY DEAD BODY. My parents were standing next to the bed in utter fear and horror. Their son had just died. A voice spoke "Live or Die, Your Choice". I do not know where the voice came from. It was an adult male. I saw the horror on my parents face and I thought LIVE. I came back but it was the right side of my brain that came back. That is a very different person then the left side of my brain. Eventually weeks or months later, my left side restored itself and switched places. The left side of my brain became my night time sleep brain that exist in REM and NREM sleep. One interesting thing about this was that around age 12 or 13 when a boy completes the transition from a child to a man, I never made that transition. So therefore even though I am now 74 years old, I am still a child. You cannot tell that I am a child because I grew a mustache and adults normally automatically think that I am an adult male.
So perhaps what you are saying is that you are still a child, like me, deep down inside you.
Oh, and if you want to know what I look like, that is my actual picture on the left. I am Jimmy.