New member introduction

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Hi
I am a 59 year old woman with 2 daughters both with mental health issues.
Recently my daughter decided to pursue an ASD assessment. Initially I was dismissive (due to preconceived ideas). But after falling down the rabbit hole I think I am on the spectrum. I don't have a formal diagnosis of neuro divergence and not sure whether to pursue one.

I have had several difficult life experiences and have tried to understand and come to terms with the past and sought help. So I have several diagnoses; depression , anxiety, cluster headaches and fibromyalgia. I am on some medications which help and have tried lots of therapies etc but they didn't really work. I never felt that any of these were the real underlying reason for my issues.

I think an external observer would describe me as a high functioning. But inside that apparent high functioning is not as easy as it looks. I am sure that I have high skills in masking to have got so far in 'normal' life. But I am not entirely sure what I do to mask. Probably something to do with appearing cheerful even when I'm not, although sometimes I am being genuine. I also used to be very quiet but have made some progress in speaking in groups. I like to make people laugh by saying weird things.

I don't understand why people accept the way we live in society. I hate the illogicality, the lack of compassion. I only just found out that small talk is a way for people to decide where you fit into the pecking order. Am I right?? How did I get to my age without knowing this???

Really want to spend time connecting with neurodivergent people and talking about this stuff. And anything else weird and wonderful.

Welcome aboard.

Hello and welcome I'm hopeful that many lasting and genuine connections await you here. Very pleased to meet you. Yeah, I wasn't quite sure that "small talk" had such an ulterior motive either. Whatever the case it's not one of my strong suits.

Hi Cecilia Hector

Welcome to the site. I have Asperger's syndrome. I am an old timer. I have many years on you. I am 74 years old and suffered a massive stroke about 2 years ago. But my mind never stops working.

So I in my own way understand you. I am male and my mind is very much like that of Peter Pan. I never grew up. I experienced a wonderful life. I just learned how to grow a mustache around the age of 20 and everyone automatically assumed I was an adult. But deep inside me is a child, a very, very, very smart child.

Many women experience a different approach in early life. They try to fit in. They try to become like everyone else. But this causes a lot of anxiety. The pressure becomes to great as they age and it results in a type of breakdown. I suspect that is what you are experiencing.

I guess if I have any advice for you it would be "Be Yourself". You may not make a lot of friends but you will live a life that contains the real you.

If you are looking for neuro diverse individuals you will surely find us here! I never suspected autism while my kids were growing up, but it turns out all of us are autistic! Lots to sort, lots to learn about the ways that affected everything in the past and learn about how to move forward from painful past, do better self care, and so much more. You are not alone. Glad you are with us!