Hi All! I'm Mandi, and my brother (We'll call him L) is 100% an aspie... And I LOVE this site. I have not talked with him yet about Asperger's, and I'm not sure if he is aware of it or not, but I plan on sharing this site with him.
Our family is going through a very difficult time. We have no family around, and distant relatives only, and our Mother is terminally ill with Lung Cancer and on Hospice now. So he and I are all we've got besides mom, and I am doing the bulk of caring for her. L tries to help but I don't think he completely understands the situation. I come here in search of help to help him deal with her illness and her passing. I am not sure how to exactly reach him with the message that she is dying and she has very little time left. He is more concerned with riding the rides at the local amusement park. And this may be his way of coping...I'm not sure. So has there been anyone else in this sort of situation that could offer some help?
A little about me: I'm 28, Married, 1 daughter, I guess I'd be an NT here, but my life's work is working with individuals with MR/DD in small home settings. I LOVE my job...can't say that enough. It's what I was born to do. And it's through this line of work that I first began to seek answers for my brother's "not typical" behaviors. I love my brother, and I want to see him thrive. I want him to succeed in life and live a fulfilling and wonderful life. I just think he needs some help to get that. I've always known he had different abilities than I, and now, I have a name to it. And for that, I am thankful.
A little about L: He's 25, single, and still lives at home with Mom, who is terminally ill. He has an associate's degree, and wanted to become a teacher. He had one Prof. in college tell him he "wasn't classroom material" and it broke his spirit and his drive for that line of work. So, he works for a retailer, for 5 years now, on the sales floor (not meeting quotas,etc) or at the register. He makes ok money, but not enough to survive on his own without assistance. Looking back now, when we were growing up, I can see Aspie traits through his childhood and adolescence. What I've read here so far is mirroring him so much. And I think of how difficult it must have been for him. Now I understand why he never wanted to give anyone kisses on the cheek, and why he gets upset when I try (even today) to teach him how to shave. He hates to clean, and hates that I encourage him to. He is fixated on his cat and on school busses. Never understood the "obsession" until I found this site.
There will be a time when he will be living with my husband and I very soon when Mom passes, and I need some insight as to how to help him be more independent. I would love for him to be able to live on his own, but with his anger mgmt. issues, it's highly unlikely that he could move into mgmt. at work to support himself fully. Do Aspies qualify for disability/SSI supplements? Not saying I want him to quit his job and become dependent on that alone, no way...but in order for him to be self sufficient, he's going to need help financially, and I'm not rich.
With getting formally Dx'd, what are the benefits? What are some of the medications they give? I don't want him to be overmedicated, but he may need something to help him with axiety/anger/stress.
I am so looking forward to hearing advice from everyone here... Thank You!!
17 Aug 2007, 5:05 am
