Hello. I'm John, I'm 36 and I'm in the UK.
I'd always wondered why I was socially awkward, why people didn't really take to me (though the vast majority have been friendly enough), and why (until a few years ago) I was perpetually single. Now I think I know why.
I had heard of Aspergers, in the radio play 'Spoonface Steinberg', where a 10-year old girl with AS describes, in unemotional, matter-of-fact terms, the breakdown of her parents' marriage. But it was only in the last few months, after reading about AS that I began to suspect I had it.
As well as the lack of social skills, I had wondered why I like such strict routines; why I had such strict rituals. For example, if I mounted the pavement with my right foot first, or I walked on the inside of man-hole covers (between the fence and cover, unless it was one of those concrete telephone man-hole covers...) then that would bring me bad luck.
At work, I seem to have done better than most people here, holding down jobs for years, though it was a struggle. It got to a point where I lost my rag with a colleague and was called into the manager's office. I saw my GP and was given Prozac. This helped a great deal, I ignored my seemingly silly routines and rituals. But after I stopped taking them, I found myself slipping back into the same old routines.
As for romance, this was non-existent right from my teenage years until about 5 years ago. I was looking for penfriends (no romance, please) and got to know a lovely lady. I visited, as a holiday, no romance again. Five and a half years later, we're engaged, and I will be moving from the UK to the USA next year. While I'm happy to be in a relationship with someone who really loves me, and who I do love, this has brought out a whole raft of new insecurities.
What it all boils down to is, I would be very much surprised if I don't have AS, but I'm glad I'm not the only one, and that this board exists. I'm looking forward to joining the debate and hearing from others like myself.
John
24 Sep 2007, 3:21 pm
