Better late than never

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My first memory was floating in the womb. Every night of my single digit years, the memory would replay as I fell asleep. I was in my 20s before, after hearing a recording of inside the womb, I realized what those memories were. And why I could never understand the muffled voices of the memory - I didn't know language yet!
I was the sterotypical "Little Professor". Also the "Absent-minded Professor" always losing things, etc. I knew when adults didn't really know what they were talking about because I saw the logical flaws or gaps in what they told me. At six years old, I repaired an antique tube tabletop radio. (That started me on a life-long interest in electronics and radio.)
I have dyspraxia. But being born in 1958 and growing up in the 60s and 70s, I was just clumsy. I was told I would outgrow it. I never did. In fact at 65, my current age, it's worse if anything. It was the main reason I was picked on and outright bullied in school. Never mind that I was reading well beyond my years, or could run circles around my peers on science topics. What mattered to them was I was lousy at what was truly important: SPORTS. I was the kid the last team to pick got stuck with. I was worse than useless, because with my nonexistant ability to catch, throw, or bat, I made the team lose. I was the "dork" or the "spaz".
None of us knew what autism was. I had a second cousin who lived in a residential facility because he was autistic. Nowadays he would be considered ASD3. Back then, he was my only example of autism, and I knew I didn't need to be in a facility like that, so there's no way I would have considered myself autistic. I was a physicist in the Air Force before Aperger's Syndrome was heard of in the U.S., and it wasn't an official diagosis until 8 years after I got out of the Air Force. I had learned how to fake being normal by the time I graduated High School, as long as I didn't socialize any more than necessary. When I got out of the Air Force with a Physics degree, I really didn't have difficulty getting and keeping a job. At work, as in High School, I didn't socialize any more than absolutely necessary. All the interpersonal drama going on around me was like water on a duck's back. I ignored it. The few times I was called on to voice an opinion on the current crisis, I had to answer that I hadn't been listening, then I'd resume what I was doing.
I knew I was weird. I figured that out in elementary school. But I figured it was a good weird, and I was mostly harmless, so I didn't stress about it. I had a couple of friends, and didn't feel the need for more. I always tried to treat others in a friendly manner, but I knew not to expect them to become my friends. I could only deal with small numbers of people anyway. Crowds just totally stressed me out. Noise was part of the issue with crowds, but even just the visual of people milling about bothered me.
I never liked being touched, and I never wanted to touch others. My parents told me that even as an infant, I would be fine doing whatever I was doing, but if they picked me up, I would cry constantly until they put me back down. I never liked the feeling of clothing on my body. I quickly learned that it wasn't ok with my parents for me to go around naked. When I was old enough to wander around the neighborhood (like we were able to do in the 60s and 70s without our parents freaking out), I found some great woods that no one but me seemed to visit. Once I had established no one else came around there, the woods became my naked place. I would stash my clothes in a bush (in case someone DID wander by), and spend hours being at peace with nature in my natural state. It was a great antidote for the stress of school when I got home.
I could tell you what I did in the Air Force, but then I'd have to kill you. It was mega-classified stuff. My first 2 years I worked at the Foreign Technology Division at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base. That's where Project Bluebook was headquartered at. You entered my work area through a big steel door built like a bank vault door. They actually called my work area "the vault". The workers in the building's cafeteria had to have a Secret clearance to work there. We told jokes in the office that we couldn't repeat anywhere else because they were Top Secret!
I went through Geogia Tech on an Air Force ROTC scholarship. While I was there, I joined the Parachute Club. When I entered the Air Force, I continued my skydiving at an airport in Xenia, Oh. Over the years I accumulated 1000 jumps before I stopped keeping track. I loved it. 50 of the jumps were naked jumps. (Naked jumps are a thing even among mainstream NT skydivers. Milestones like 100 jumps, getting an instructor's rating, etc will often be celebrated with a naked jump). Most of my 50 were done at the same dropzone, and I quickly got the nickname "Naked Man". Unfortunately, I began having difficulty equalizing the pressure in my inner ears during descent, and after a bad ear infection from that, I decided to give up skydiving.
I replaced it with sailing. I currently have a Luger Seabreeze 16. It has a small cabin, allowing me to stay aboard for days at a time. I got my Ham Radio license as a teenager, and have been continuously active with that. I also play around with building projects using arduinos and of course programming them.
I only learned I have ASD1/Asperger's early in 2023. The resulting deep dive I did on Asperger's and Autism was very eye-opening. It was like I was reading about my life history. Instead of a unique weirdo like I always figured I was, I find I am part of a well-documented subgroup of humanity. I've got a tribe!
Ok, everyone can wake up - I'm done. That's enough introducing for now

Well that is an interesting introduction. You are very similar to me, except I am an INTJ. I was born in 1948 so I am a little older than you.

So let me direct you down another rabbit hole. We are very unique people. I suggest you read the book called "Whole Brain Living" by Jill Bolte Taylor. She suffered a massive stroke around age 35. She had a brain bleed in the middle of her skull and it swelled up. She received the best treatment and she was able to recover. But she came back as an entirely different person. She was a very specialized medical doctor working out of one of the top universities on the east coast. But she came back as a new age woman. Two totally different people. In her book she goes into great detail about the four characters that inhabit the human brain. It is a very good read.

In my case, I am a little like you. The reason why we are different and do not seem to fit in is because we died at a very young age. I was around 3 or 4 when I was attacked by a large bull and I died. My parents took my body into my room and laid it out on my bed. They stood next to me in utter fear. I stood next to my dead body. A voice spoke to me and said "Live or Die, Choose?" I could not stand the utter fear in my parents and I said Live. And I came back to life. That is the right side of my brain came back. The human brain is very complex. It has two sides. One on the left and one on the right. The left side is dominant. It becomes our daytime brain. The right side is a supporting brain that exist in our sleep states REM and deep NREM. But if we sustain injury prior to the age where a child becomes an adult (around age 12) we can experience a brain flip. In my case my night time brain came online and I have lived my entire life as a right side dominant brain.

As a result I have many unusual properties. I am fearless. I explore the world and do things that most people never do. I once owned a fast car. It was a 1970 hemi cuda. It was one of the fastest street cars ever built. It was designed for acceleration. It moved like a jet engine. And I figured out how to make it go even faster. It was capable of going 150 mph when you replaced the oil with synthetic oil.

I have spoken too long. Anyways welcome to the site.

Welcome to WP! I hope you find it an interesting place to visit repeatedly.

Don't make the same mistake I made when I first joined. I assumed all of the Autistics here had Mild autism...not true! So, be nice. Some of the folk here are having a really horrible time in life.

Oh. I am also an Air Force vet. My active duty was at Offutt. Going into the Air Force was a wonderful thing to do, it benefited me so much afterwards. And, yes, no official diagnosis was possible for me until the year I turned 40 and Asperger's was put into the DSM. However, I did not get my diagnosis until I was 64...before that I was just "weird".

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

welcome ! I learned of my autism just 5 years ago at the age of 66, diagnosed at age 67, Diagnosis changed everything. New insights on old painful memories, new self understanding, new ability to forgive myself as well as others because nobody knew! Glad you are with us. Its an adventure unraveling mysteries of the past, and its a great experience to see more clearly going forward from there.

Greetings and welcome to Wrong Planet from New Zealand - I hope you will enjoy it here

I've heard of such memories before. It's super interesting! Nice to have you, though this intro was a month ago and I'm sure we've ran across each other since