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Hi everyone,

I'm 40 years old and was recently diagnosed with ASD/HFA. My psychologist recommended that I join this forum, so here I am.

I'm naturally shy and pretty anxious, which made registering here a bit of a challenge—I tried about 40 times over the past two months before finally hitting the register button.

I've always felt different, but I was able to excel in my jobs (from military to agricultural labor). My special skill is software development, and while my bosses expected me to write the best code, the problem arose because my colleagues couldn’t understand the technical level of my communication. This mismatch led to me being let go, despite my strong skills.

This experience led my psychologist to suspect I might be on the spectrum, and after learning more about it, everything in my life started to make sense. For example, I've always struggled to watch certain shows that others find amusing, but to me, they just remind me of the bullying I've faced, making them hard to enjoy.

Another challenge I face is that people often tell me I have an aggressive or arrogant look, even when I'm completely neutral. I can understand where they're coming from, but for me, it's more about not showing the "right" facial expression because I can't understand other people's emotions from their faces either.

I've been reading as much as I can about ASD/HFA, and it's fascinating that I wasn't diagnosed earlier. Every symptom I've come across resonates with me.

Looking forward to connecting with others here.

Hello. Welcome.

Hi, welcome to wrong planet.

I was also nervous in taking part in forums at first, it gets easier the more you post.

Hi, Curtes! Welcome to WP!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I'm very shy and anxious irl but I quickly got used to using online forums and I'm not shy on here at all. I hope you enjoy this site!

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

I have a condition called Asperger's Syndrome, which is sometimes condensed down to being an Aspie.

Your introduction sounds a little bit like me, so I will make the assumption that you may be similar.

About losing your Job. I suspect that your skillset in software development is leagues above your fellow workers. But normally we are outcast and many companies build teams and use team structure to run companies. You may be better off working as an independent problem solver in your professional field.

You discussed the fact that you were bullied in school. That is a common problem for Aspies in our school system. We may be the highest scoring students in a class but we have to deal with the bullies.

Then you went on to discuss another interesting point. "Another challenge I face is that people often tell me I have an aggressive or arrogant look, even when I'm completely neutral. I can understand where they're coming from, but for me, it's more about not showing the "right" facial expression because I can't understand other people's emotions from their faces either."

So let me try and explain this to you. It is all in the eyes. I do not look at people directly into their eyes. I look a little bit off to one side. Because I do not perform direct eye to eye contact, they feel that I am dishonest, false, someone who cannot be trusted, a liar. I actually tested this theory a few years ago and found it to be true.

I purchased a pair of special sunglasses. It is the same type of sun glasses that police use to wear on the job. It is a type of one way glasses. I can see out but others cannot see my eyes. Because these glasses let more light in then normal sunglasses, I could use them indoors. I went around town with these glasses on AND SOMETHING VERY INTERESTING HAPPENED. People would come up to me and begin casual conversations. I couldn't believe it. Total strangers would come up to me and ask for advice or just begin talking.

So welcome to Wrong Planet. It sounds like you found the right place.

Welcome to WP and to the Autism Spectrum. I hope you find both of them good places to be.

By the way, my diagnosis is Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild) with a note that I also satisfy the criteria previously associated with Asperger's Syndrome. And I used to work in computers—but I really like retirement! Oh, which branch of the military? I was in the Air Force.

...and I'm kind of curious what country you are in. There are folk here from an interesting variety of countries.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!