blizzard09 wrote:
Hello, world! So glad for this forum and for all of you here. I may be fairly quiet and read a lot, and please know that I appreciate you all for posting, I cannot tell you how relieved I feel to (perhaps/hopefully) to have found a tribe I can relate to. (almost in tears actually for the relief I feel, yes, I am a cryer, lol)
I have been watching videos about autism/adhd and have self diagnosed
I just exited my 4th domestic violence situation and have searched all my life as to why I am often rejected by many people, and attract abusers. When one video shared characteristics of being neuro-divergent, my whole self was like "THATS ME!"
I am mid-life and to learn these things about myself is both relieving and also frustrating (that my whole life could have been much different perhaps had I KNOWN)
I am thankful to be safe, and working my way back to independence, though it is a SLOW process. The friends that I had seem to be so tired of my continuous traumas in my life, all but one still contacts me... I had a handful and when they found out that I was near-homeless they seem to have disappeared, and I feel SO ISOLATED. Making friends is so hard for me, and I had found some good ones for a while, despite my marriage partners all being of the narcissist-type. Now I understand that I trust too easily.
I researched the parasympathetic nervous system and how to activate it... I was smoking cigarettes to manage the anxiety but want to be healthier so I am learning things like chewing gum and stretching, etc helps...
Thank you if you read this far. There seems to be so little (that I have found) ways to find support and meet other non NT people... so I am so very thankful to even be able to read things on here.
So hello, and I hope to participate more but will spend a lot of time reading past posts. I hope each on here is well, that you find solace in the midst of this "wrong planet" (I ALWAYS felt that I did not belong here, lol...)
blizzard09
omg that was me too (until my school blocked this site for a month) which sucks but I can deal with it *I guess*
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you're not the clown, you're the entire circus! -phoenix wright