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i meant to actually be here sooner but a lot of mistakes led me away. making up for that now, at least. i'll elaborate more down the line.

greetings. i go by, "hadron." or, "fenris."
i've been creative (generally) since i was young,
but i started doing stuff about it at around 10-12 years of age, for me.

i do:

• music production.
• graphic design.
• digital collage-work & photobashing.
• VJ work + animated visual design.
• video editing, generally.
• digital painting.
• sound design. (starting out.)
• 3DCG compositing (starting out.)
• creative writing (on and...off?)
• photography.

for fun.

interested in a lot of early internet culture and 2000s + later 90s era, uh. things. music and TV shows and movies and cartoons and anime and a lot of other things. additionally, a lot of science-related topics (lifelong fixation), and a lot tied to consumer electronics/consumer tech (also lifelong fixation, kind of stronger than science, honestly.)

not just restricted to this era and those sorta worlds, though, i'm diverse. i have a lot to me.

kind of here because i need to socially re-set everything and making an account here i consider a part of that process. i've been doing a lot of talking to people who do not get me and sort of advertising myself like some creative powerhouse to people who'd misunderstand me and either just get confused, terrified or irritated as s**t at me instead of actually kind of making any attempt to understand how i work. it was kind of immature to just keep prying for validation and attention from people who don't understand me so Overtly that they start projecting insane stuff onto me seemingly just as Habit? terrifying.

my feelings are never considered. i'm an animal to them. swear to even the person i'm living with, at this point. isolating.

it feels inevitable but also kind of tied to me just having autism spectrum disorder stuff roll different in my head than in theirs (noted also very-likely schizoaffective disorder. my eldest sibling has it, i suspect my little brother and dad also have it additionally, i've...shown an alarming number of schizophrenia symptoms for my entire life up to this point, and i'm definitely confirmed bipolar type 1 with psychotic features.) i was gonna just hermit completely but i figured i just need to actually talk to people who are just detached from social media, i tire of "the masses".

i just feel surrounded. it doesn't help that i'm saying all this at 24.

but uh hi. i'll be around here often, committing to it. hopefully this isn't too crazy of an intro.

Welcome to WP! I hope you like it here.

Your profile says you are not a diagnosed Autistic. Do you think it would help you to provide others some "evidence" to support an Autism self-diagnosis? If so, you might find AQ of some use. It cannot give a formal diagnosis but it can provide support for a self-diagnosis.

(No diagnosis, formal or self, is needed to be on WP. A polite interest in the topic is all that is required. And "the topic" need not be limited to Autism...I believe it encompasses all flavors of neurodiversity.)

i got 29 out of possible 50. i tried to embed a screenshot as proof but i don't think i have privileges for that yet.

lot more i could talk about regarding me qualifying for autism spectrum disorder, but i will additionally say my younger brother doesn't make eye contact + abides by routine down to what he eats on a regular basis at the house i escaped + has an awkward gait + is extremely rigid/hard-line about people offending him or violating his boundaries + has talked to me about Terraria at length to a degree i considered pretty fascinating as a kid + other stuff i'm forgetting.

noting also that when i was born, not that long after, i became fixated on highways + different classifications of road + streetlights + road signage (fonts, different types of road, freeway, etc) in a way that stunned my parents. my devotion i remember being very intense and driven but when i was talked to about this my answer was always just "i just feel like it." there's a plethora of different subject matter i'm still fixated on but i'd fill this page down like so long if i put everything ...at least now. (got stuff to do IRL, am ok with following up again)

Hadron or Fenris...both EXCELLENT handles...which do you prefer?
Either way, welcome to Wrong Planet.

you can call me fenris, here.

both fenris & hadron kind of have meanings as to why they were chosen and the reason why i go by both is...something i think i wanna talk about wherever discussions are had about other psychological phenomena, generally.

thanks for the welcome. i need more places like this to frequent! omg

WELCOME to WRONG planet ....fenris...

Not in here now, but you're bound to run into other Fenrises. You might want to add a differentiator.
A colour/material/day/month.
I was just Halo for years but had to add a descriptor

Fenris, like half of Darkthrone?

Wait, he spells it Fenriz.

From what I found online, 29 is probably Autistic but close to the lower boundary.

But, without a formal diagnosis, it appears an informal diagnosis should be likely Autistic.
(I hesitate to leave out the "likely", even when I scored 40 on AQ.
I was uncomfortable making it sound certain 'til a psychologist gave me the formal diagnosis.)

And, as far as the traits of Autism...they are indicators but I'm not qualified to assess them.
(...but are you saying you were interested in the fonts on road signs? They do a use a lot of different fonts on commercial signs but I never noticed it on official street signs. Sure, certain kinds of signs have white letters with reflectors, but what kind of font difference should I see if I was looking for it?)

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I've had a lot of the same experiences with people refusing to understand you. It sounds like they'd find a very interesting person if they bothered to look, so I guess it's their loss. People here will understand you though.

scph1001, Welcome to Wrong Planet.

It sounds like you are trying to figure out how you fit in life. Humans are constructed very differently then any other creature that has existed on this planet. This is because we have multiple brains. Some exist on the left side of the skull and this is the dominant brain once we pass from childhood (around age 12) into adulthood. One exist on the right side of the brain and this becomes the support brain. But sometimes accidents will happen. The left side is damaged and the right side steps in to keep us going. But what comes from this is people who feel like they live on the Wrong Planet.

This trait is hereditary and passes within family lines. Generally it is displayed differently between males and females. Women seem to better blend into society. But it does come into play in females around age 30 and they tend to experience bipolar. Humans have multiple brains and bipolar is just a rapid transition between these brains. The two brains exhibited in bipolar are very different sides. The pressure just build up until the body can no longer control it and it switches to the other brain function.

So what can I tell you. You are different then many other people. You have some great skills but you also have some great weaknesses. Do not worry about what other people think about you. You are the only one that can judge yourself. Learn to use your great strengths to overcome your great weaknesses.

You are a night time brain full of great magic. You have skills that other people do not possess. Believe in yourself and become the best person you can be.

^^^^^ well written ^^^^^. jimmy

you're very sweet!!
i needed this, omg. thank you! you're all super nice on here from what i have been reading around. just should start talking more, have a lot of music i like talking about and a uh... lot of other things, heh.

*(nervous but it's a familiar nervousness, i just am finding stuff to go on about, really)