New to the forum and the reality of ASD

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I'm a middle aged Caucasian male, according to self testing I'm at least moderately autistic and probably pretty empathic. I took the AQ, EQ, RAADS-R and CAT-q and they point to some notable signs of strong to very strong Autism, or support my hypothesis of the presence of ASD. All that I have read and watched leave me certain of this. Knowing the limited value of self-Dx I am slated to get a medical assessment and medical Dx next.

A couple times in recent years I wondered if this could be cause for my bouquet of social and career-limiting quirks (this word does some heavy lifting here). Quirks that are not well explained by Fibromyalgia or my childhood Dx of ODD. We did not understand ASD back then, we didn't screen as we do now. I have to wonder how things would be different had this been detected in early childhood. I sort of always just thought I was a bad or defective person,

I'm not surprised, or even disturbed by this realization. If anything it is a relief to understand why I've been in a social fish bowl for more than half a century. It has gotten worse as polyarticular arthritis ups the pain ante pretty spectacularly on some days. Going to town is something I deeply dread with the passion of a thousand suns, so regular therapy is likely out of the question. Not sure if I have questions or just a general desire to learn more from others so effected.

Absolutely open to critique or input.

Thank You

GJ.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

We are not given a paper that describes who we are or what we need to participate in life. By nature many times we are loners. But we also are explorers. We go where no man has gone before.

Understand that many humans have pluses and minuses. They have +s and -s. But we are a little different. Some of us have ++s and --s. And some of us are off the charts with +++++s and -----s. The secret in life for us is to learn what these +s and -s are and use your +s to overcome your -s.

If you did not realize you have +s, then look deeper inside you and try and figure out what they are. What are your unique +s.

Welcome,

If you are middle aged ASD may not have been commonly diagnosed where you live.

Knowing you have ASD may allow you to more clearly identify stressful situations and find better ways of dealing with them.

Instead of shopping when it is busy on the weekends, I often wait until Monday or Tuesday.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome aboard GJ,
With middle age self discovery, it's mostly about explaining your past to yourself and coming to terms with the fact you are way quirkier than you suspected. Having survived this far undiagnosed you are obviously functional enough and a diagnosis may not be that helpful.
I had a psychiatrist offer to confirm my self diagnosis (which I chose to interpret as "pay me and I'll put that in writing for you"), but I am perfectly happy with my self-dx explaining...well...my whole life.
My commiserations on the arthritis. My connective tissue disorder results in accelerated joint wear and all my party tricks have come back to sink their teeth in.
Wouldnt it be nice if "Ubique" worked. (A fellow SF nut might get that, but everyone else might have to dig a little)
I hope this site is useful to you.

Welcome to WP! I hope you like it here.

I am ASD-1. I was born in 1954. Asperger's Syndrome wasn't added to the DSM until 1994, the year I turned 40, so I did not discover I was Autistic until 2019...shortly before my 65th birthday.

So far I haven't found much practical use to knowing I'm Autistic, except:
- It is wonderful to finally understand so much more about my life.
- Wrong Planet
- When my bride bumps into one of my Autism traits I get to say:
I have a doctor's note for that!

I really felt compelled to quote each of these replies. So many good points.

The actuality of ASD didn't resonate until I happened across videos of others talking about growing up with it and it's social effects. All the pointers about shutdowns, meltdowns, hyper-vigilance and hypersensitivity, fabrics, foods, all of it fits. The hardest part was struggling not only to relate to others but just being around them without shutting down. Being functional around them was yet another field even further away.

When I was seeing a Psychologist I was between ~2 and 4 yrs of age(early 1970s) but that was in SoCal where the medical community was expansive and modernized. I'm fairly confident that if we understood more about ASD then we may have found it. They did Dx me with ODD which was somewhat unusual then, but it sure fits. I cherish my defiance, although it has been quite a hindrance.

I currently live in South Dakota, which is still pre-1970s with with regards to K-12 education and many aspects modern of healthcare. We are so backwards in so many ways (charitably put). I think had I known early I would have gone through life with an understand of how I was different, and maybe how others cope. The programs that could have been helpful are on the chopping block, so I'm not so sure a real Dx is all that critical at this point.

I'll be happy to watch and learn, hopefully at some point I can mix my lived experience with a small amount of nursing experience and be helpful to others. I get a lot out of helping others, which is strange considering my proclivity to just be alone so much of the time. Thanks for responding to my potpourri of poorly formulated questions and observations. A lot of valuable responses here.

Thank you all for all the thoughtful responses. I'm glad I found this place!

I grew up in the 1980s/1990s when no one knew what autism was, other than Rainmen. An EX of mine first pointed out that I might be in my mid 20s, which I remember feeling very embarrassed by it, as I knew had " issues", which I was ashamed of. Meaning I didn't want anyone to know, by the 3rd or 4th date the mask slid down and was caught red handed so to speak. A few years later, a lady my Mom worked with had a son with autism and she was shocked to learn that I did some of the same stuff and had some of the same issues.


I was diagnosed with ADD and a learning disability, rode the short bus too. While that explained some things, there still something that was amiss. Growing up, my family did there damndest to shake the " weirdness" out of me. From basically teaching me to mask, forcing me into group activities like sports, and nit picking every little thing I did. Which probably accounts for my disdain for some in authority, questioning things, and so forth, which has gotten me trouble throughout my life.

Welcome aboard

Godless Jones, you wrote about your lifetime experiences, "All the pointers about shutdowns, meltdowns, hyper-vigilance and hypersensitivity, fabrics, foods, all of it fits."

Yes that fits. I have hypersensitivity, fabrics, foods. It is a common trait that many of us experience. It can be a curse or it can be a blessing. I possess some unique skills that other humans do not possess. I have the ability to use some of my hypersensitivities to my advantage. For example, when others were coming down sick, I could track the source of the illness and eliminate it.

You experience shutdowns and meltdowns. Many people on the site experience this condition. I do not. I just figure out the cause of my distress and fix it. You possess special skills, learn how to use these skills to your advantage. I would probably focus on two things. These are sleep and exercise. Your body needs at least a total of 2 hours of deep NREM sleep and REM sleep each night. There are many different stages to your sleep cycle and your body transitions between these various stages during the night. Some advanced smart watches can actually measure your sleep stages and provide you very detailed information. You can get better sleep by making your bedroom and bed better designed to provide you with a good nights sleep.

The other thing that repairs your body is exercise. Your body needs at least one hour of strenuous exercise each day. I am 76 years old and I can still swim a mile. Normally I just walk up and down my steep hill, that is my driveway each day. Walking up and down a hill provides two levels of exercise to your body.

You wrote that you, "get a lot out of helping others, which is strange considering my proclivity to just be alone so much of the time." Yes that is one of our strengths. We try and help people. It will help you grow and become the best you can be.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!