Hello... guess I'm the new girl

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Hi.... I recently self-diagnosed my Asperger's (don't trust shrinks anymore, I've been through all the false diagnoses: ADHD, borderline, depression, OCD, ADD, just a shy kid, lazy and rude, blah blah blah....).
The lists of symptoms are so "me" it's almost funny; socially awkward, highly sensitive to sound and touch, "shy", lack of eye contact, social anxiety, selective mutism, obsessive, can't visualize things well, etc. It's been a really hard struggle; since my parents had no idea what was "wrong" with me, I was constantly ridiculed and/or punished for things I can't help, which just made me feel crappier and made the whole situation worse. Since I figured out my "issue", I feel like I've finally seen the light! but nobody else in my life seems that interested. So glad I found this site... finally, people who understand!

I've told my fiance about my Asperger's, but he's not the type who's gonna go out and read all about it... how do I help him to understand that yes, it's real, and yes, I'll pretty much be like this the rest of my life? How do I let him know that there are things I'll need help with, without sounding too "special needs"... and how do I let him know that it's nothing personal when something he's doing is practically torturing me and I need him to stop?!? Arrrgh! Any advice?

Welcome to WrongPlanet

Just snuggle up together, watch Mozart and the Whale, and say "See? This is me!"

Just wanted to say "Hi". I have absolutly no advice for you (trying to get divorced even as I type, so don't listen to anything I have to say when it comes to relationships ) But if you read thru the posts you'll find lots of other great advice I'm sure. Anyhow...hope you like it here as much as I do.
ps I can't believe I got here before Tim (ha ha but true )

Nice to meet you, Cameo.

I agree with alex in what to do totally. Though I don't have a girlfriend or anything yet in my life so far, I would proable to do the same thing anyway to help her understand a bit.

Good Luck!! !! !

Welcome to WP!

Yes, I am the Tim that Reika speaks of.

Tim

Welcome, make yourself at home! This place is a real eye opener!

mojo123

Welcome Cameo,

Although I don't have a fiance (excuse my terrible spelling), I got a similar reaction from when I told my step sister (no longer my step sister though). She laughed at first and then said "so in other words, you're disabled". Then she said "I don't believe that".

I have tried to explain Aspergers to her many times but now I have given up as I no longer have contact with her anyway.

I am not saying in anyway that you said give up on trying to get you're fiance to understand.

Maybe you could get him to watch a video documentary on asperger Syndrome from youtube or something like that.

Anyway, welcome to WP

Welcome to WP

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www.spectrumforums.com - We are back! Needs more members come and take a look

Welcome to WP!

welcome to wp.
is there anyone (doctor, psychologist, counsellor) that is supposedly an expert on these matters that could talk to your fiance about AS?

Welcome,

If you figure out how to explain this, please let us know.

If my fiance did not want to know how I functioned, he would not be my fiance anymore.

Welcome to WP. WebMD has a good writeup on AS symptoms. You can select and print what you think he would find useful. Also, Tony Attwood's book has received a lot of compliments from people on the forums I've lurked or posted in.

We'll have to give Tim a break. He's normally the first one to welcome someone in, but he's back in school and as busy as a busy person with lots to do. How's that for a snappy simile?

lol, I don't mean to make my fiance sound like a jerk or anything. He's actually a very kind, loving person; I know he will accept me for who I am. It'll just make the road ahead a lot less rocky if he understands me a little better, but as he is pretty much my polar opposite, that might be difficult. I'm more afraid that I will hurt his feelings and he won't understand... for example, if I lose my temper with him out of frustration or if I don't want to be touched sometimes, or if it seems like everything he does is annoying me. I guess I can be hard to live with sometimes Since all my life I never had a name for what's "wrong" with me and the people I've lived with for so long have to get used to the idea too, I feel like I'm talking about it too much. You know what I mean? Like if I mention the word "Asperger's" one more time, somebody will slap me? lol Oh well, such is life I suppose.