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Hi! My name is Linda and I am a new member. My 5 year old grandson was diagnosed with autism last fall. His speech is getting better, but hard to understand at times. The most noticable symptom is the tantrums. He also gets very depressed and thinks that no one loves him even though he is told constantly that we all do love him very much. He also says that he is stupid (which he is not-we were told that he has a high IQ). He can be pretty hard on himself for a little guy. In a couple weeks he will start kindergarten being mainstreamed in a regular classroom. My first question is: How do you handle the tantrums and how do we help him not to be so down on himself? My next question is about my 3 year old granddaughter. She did not speak until she was 2 years old. After speech therapy and tubes in both ears, her speech improved drasticlly in very little time. Now for the past couple months she has begun to stutter very bad which is getting worse. Her temper can also be a problem, which we thought was due to seeing her brother have the tantrums? Now we are starting to wonder if this is really the problem. Are these also signs of autism? Any advice or comments would really be appreciated.
Linda

LadyBug,
I don't know how they measure the IQ of a five year old. I just know that the teacher in the special class he was scheduled to be in next year told us that after being tested, he did now qualify since he has "a higher IQ". Take that for what it is worth. (And he is not dumb!! !) I do understand that most kids have tantrums! And I also know that the tantrums that my grandson has goes well beyond the normal. My daughter and son-in-law are good parents and they are trying everything they can to help my grandson. We all are. We have read what ever we find on autism, but they usually do not discuss how to deal with the tantrums, especially in public. There has been no help with this whatsoever! Some suggestions would be helpful. What do you do when your family member has a "meltdown"?
Linda

IQ in small children is tested in two ways: verbally: asking questions and evaluating the child's replies, and performance: The child is given objects and asked to perform certain tasks. It might have changed some since I had mine done, but I remember being given differently sized wooden triangles and being asked to make a square out of them.
I don't have any advice about the tantrums though.

hi, when it comes to tantruming different things can work for different kids;
for my son (nicco 4 pdd-nos) we have done many things

first you should take data on the tantrums and why they are happening; it is called the abc's of behavior;
you can make a chart

date- antecedent-behavior-consequence-duration of behavior

the antecedent is what was happening before the behavior; ex... where is he, who is in the room and what is happening

after you try to figure out why the behavior is happening
( frustration, trying to communicate, etc...)
you can then try to handle them in different ways...
for one thing the consequence for the (same) behavior ( say hitting) should always be the same...

there are alot of factors that you must consider when trying to stop a behavior:

first what is the receptive/expressive language for the child
does the child have a replaceable behavior for the undesired behavior

if tantruming is happening for say the child wanting something now ( he can not wait)
then you must teach waiting for that behavior to stop;
one way to do this is to take a timer and start at 10 seconds and you practice him requesting something ( cookie)
when he asks for the cookie- you have the cookie in one hand and start the timer in the other when the timer goes off you give the cookie (immediately)
then once he can wait for 10 seconds you increase the time by 20%, then 30%, then 50%
you can only increase it when he is able to wait for the time period all of the time.....

there are so many things that you can do
if you would like more suggestions or ideas you can email me...
michele

ps... does your grandson have a behavior plan set up for at school??? does he have an aide????
what state are you in???

flamingjune,
Thank you for your reply. I never really asked my daughter how the testing was done. I figured they knew what they were doing since they work with children that age all the time. I appreciate your reply.
Linda

shellfd,
Thank you so much for your suggestions. I will pass those suggestions on. We are from Ohio. There is no support group around that we are aware of, but my daughter and a friend who has two autistic sons are working on starting a group. As of now, my grandson will not have an aide in the classroom as far as I know. He was in a preschool class of six students the last two years. This year, he will be in a class of around 25. He is scheduled to have speech and occupational therapy. He had behavioral therapy his first year of preschool. Your suggestions were so helpful and I am interested in hearing more. Thank you so much.
Linda

linda,
I am glad that your daughter has found someone to relate to and find some support in... also, you seem very willing to help her..
which is a great thing..

when my son was dxed at 25 months he was non verbal and very aggressive to his siblings...
he broke his older sisters arm, gave her stitches, etc...
he would scream and cry/tantrum 8-10 hours a day
he was self abusive

he currently is talking up a storm (most of the time)
he's aggression towards others is rare ( still can happen)
he will tantrum; but no ware near that as he did ( 2-4 times a week now)
he is still self abusive but that has also dramatically been reduced...

every child is different and will respond to differnt types of therapys
if you would like some suggestions, email me privately

PS>>
does your daughter think that he will be able to be in his new class without an aide???
does he currently have any other supports in place?? ( behavior therapy, support staff??)

Michele

ladybug,
for clarification, all of my sons programing has been set up by myself, his behavior therapist, a private ABA/verbal behavior specialist, and his theraputic staff support...I have researched intensively and attended numerous trainings/conferences ( but in no way am I calling myself an expert)

also, I understand that you can teach a new skill to a child; but if the child can not carry over the skill it is useless...
also, I do not beleive that any behavior that is dangerous to oneself or another should be ignored for fear of "necessary development"..
and crying/tantruming is indeed typical behavior but when it interfers with daily life in needs to be addressed and tracked to see why it is happening.
All behaviors have a function, so you need to find out the function that it is serving the child and decide how to replace it with a appropriate behavior (function)
Michele

ladybug, I am not sure if you are asking me a question or trying to make an argument:

but, all children can be aggressive ( thats mine, and then hit, etc...)
but, when a child does it excessively more than the NT ( average child) that is showing aggression..

it did not matter how much supervison my son had, I could be in the same room with him (say tending to my baby) and he would bite his older sister in the back.... her back would have 50 plus bite marks on it from him in a weeks time...
that is aggression.

I could not have any furniture in my house that was not bolted to the floor he would throw it- tables, lamps, anything he could get his hands on.... this is aggression....

I could not have anything hanging on the walls ( pictures, clocks) he would throw it...

he also would bang his head until he had a bloody nose, bruises on his face, bleeding mouth.... this is self abusive behavior

on the other hand there were times that someone got hurt and my son was not being aggressive-
ex.. he walked on the baby when she was on the floor playing- he did not mean to do this it was an accident because he was "mentally" unaware that she was on the floor....
and although it was not purposefully done we still brought it to his attention.

all children NT or not can be aggressive and with my NT kids if they are aggressive they are taught that it is not right and they are taught what to do that is appropriate- same goes for my autistic child.
same goes for my autistic child...

his older sister would never hit him back or aggressively go after him- she instead became depressed and isolated herself from him and the entire family....
she has been going to therapy for almost a year now and it has helped- but she still remembers/ thinks about all the things that he has done to her....
I still beleive that if an action is disrupting daily life for oneself or another in the family it needs to be addressed immediately...
you must do it in the right way-
michele

Can't we all just get along?

Hello. I am extremely sorry about the trouble caused by the user LadyBug. She was being extremely confrontational, rude, and illogical. At another moderator's suggestion, I have banned LadyBug. You will not see any more of her. In addition, I have removed her posts and posts directly responding to her absurd comments (sorry about that, but I don't want people to be freightened away).

All,
Thank you to everyone that sent a reply. We appreciate any suggestions you have. And Michelle, I will be contacting you to see what other suggestions you may have for us. I must say that when LadyBug was the first to respond and the things she had to say, it made me think twice about posting anything again. But I am so thankful that I kept checking it and found the rest of the replies that were so helpful. Again, Thanks!! !
Linda

linda, I am glad that you are still on board. I am very willing to help. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask...
Michele