Help, I love him and I think he has aspergers.

Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 

sands
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 2 Dec 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 275

04 Dec 2007, 1:10 am

He says he is an emotional shipwreck and the thought of any relationship causes anxiety and panic. How can I get him to realize I love him?



TheSmilingGoat
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 2 Dec 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 47
Location: near the tv, australia

04 Dec 2007, 1:17 am

tell him, wat AS need more than anything is understanding


_________________
i need a better signature


TheZach
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 10 Aug 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 392
Location: Michigan, USA

04 Dec 2007, 1:31 am

Tell Him You Love Him and His Aspergers, even when he has hamburgers.


_________________
TheZach

<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.thezach.net/blog">My Blog</a>


Inventor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,014
Location: New Orleans

04 Dec 2007, 1:32 am

Just a little something, three page, double spaced, with foot notes.

No one knows what love means, or which version, so you should define your terms on a seperate file.

It might help to attach a questionair.

If you can show your graphs are compatable, you might seduce him with math.

Good Luck!



TheZach
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 10 Aug 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 392
Location: Michigan, USA

04 Dec 2007, 1:35 am

Inventor wrote:
Just a little something, three page, double spaced, with foot notes.

No one knows what love means, or which version, so you should define your terms on a seperate file.

It might help to attach a questionair.

If you can show your graphs are compatable, you might seduce him with math.

Good Luck!


Fail


_________________
TheZach

<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.thezach.net/blog">My Blog</a>


Paula
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2005
Age: 63
Gender: Female
Posts: 728
Location: San Diego Calif

04 Dec 2007, 1:41 am

Don't pressure him. If he was ready and willing then great, if not, you told him your feelings now step back. But don't pressure him.



LabPet
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,389
Location: Canada

04 Dec 2007, 1:49 am

Inventor wrote:
If you can show your graphs are compatable, you might seduce him with math.

Good Luck!


Oh, yes - be explicit. This means connect the dots for him. I suggest a mathematical proof; this will make sense to an Aspie, I assure you. That, and you could give him one of those candy heart necklaces. Draw him an oxytocin molecule. Then, hit him over the head with it.


_________________
The ones who say “You can’t” and “You won’t” are probably the ones scared that you will. - Unknown


tampapd19
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 3 Dec 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 10

04 Dec 2007, 5:21 am

Just tell him. We don't get subtle hints. In fact some of us will completely misinterpret a positive subtle message as something really negative, so if you're trying to send a sly signal that you care for him he might think you're teasing him or condescending to him or just being mean.



psychedelic
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 245
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow

04 Dec 2007, 10:29 am

I agree with tampapd19. Be explicit.



pbcoll
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Feb 2007
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,892
Location: the City of Palaces

04 Dec 2007, 1:33 pm

tampapd19 wrote:
Just tell him. We don't get subtle hints. In fact some of us will completely misinterpret a positive subtle message as something really negative, so if you're trying to send a sly signal that you care for him he might think you're teasing him or condescending to him or just being mean.


Yes. Tell him verbally, clearly, bluntly - if you need him to read your mind, you're probably not right for each other. (incidentally NT men also hate when thety're expected to do mind-reading, but they're vastly better equipped to cope with it)


_________________
I am the steppenwolf that never learned to dance. (Sedaka)

El hombre es una bestia famélica, envidiosa e insaciable. (Francisco Tario)

I'm male by the way (yes, I know my avatar is misleading).


richie
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jan 2007
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,142
Location: Lake Whoop-Dee-Doo, Pennsylvania

04 Dec 2007, 4:47 pm

Welcome to WrongPlanet!Image

Try finding out what his interests are and how you and he can share them.


_________________
Life! Liberty!...and Perseveration!!.....
Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross references.....
My Blog: http://richiesroom.wordpress.com/


Tsiiki
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 1 Dec 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 242

04 Dec 2007, 5:56 pm

Definitely tell him how you feel, and what you'd hope to expect from him (something similars been happening to me, with me being the one w/ aspergers, and I have a hard time figuring out what my friend expects, and how to deal with it), then give him time...

I don't know how he is personally, but for me, I just want the friendship, so I'd recommend you telling, then backing off and treating him as normal to let him decide what to do... keep moving on might scare him (did me), possibly to the point he may want to avoid you-- don't think you want this, so just have a good talk and let everything be bluntly spoken, he should understand what you mean, but also have him understand where he stands (does he want to date, doesn't he? does he have any reservations? that kind of stuff), the more laid out and constructed things are, the easier for us to deal (we hate uncertainties, so worrying about if this or that is right isn't good, so if its structured, its easier to handle)

Good luck ^^, just don't expect too much, if your patient that might end up being all you can rely on for a while... but best of luck to you



militarybrat
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 348

04 Dec 2007, 6:26 pm

Just explain to him how you feel.